


Gilded

by ScorpioInk



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dorian Has Self-Esteem Issues, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Holding Hands, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Possibly Unrequited Love, Prostate Massage, Sleepy Cuddles, Suicidal Thoughts, Tattoos, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:13:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 74,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26435473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpioInk/pseuds/ScorpioInk
Summary: Dorian had always been attracted to decadent things, and beauty could be found everywhere if only you looked hard enough. Without a doubt, Camris Lavellan was a beautiful.Cultural differences and personal discovery could certainly be more painful than beautiful, but like they always say, beauty is pain.
Relationships: Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus
Comments: 24
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning of a new idea - not beta'd - I know, my grammar makes me sad too

Dorian had always been attracted to beautiful things. Now, in acknowledging that about himself, he had always been clear to explain that he didn’t only mean _people_. Beauty could be found everywhere if only you looked hard enough.

His first experience with beauty had been when his father had sent him to the Circle of Minrathous. The morning market had been such an assault to his senses that he could still remember the sights and smells that had surrounded him. Given that it was a major city, Minrathous had been practically gilded, deep tones of gold, bronze, and copper over almost every surface made the city glow as if on fire in the early light of the morning.

The people were decadent, too. Deep reds, purples, blues, in elaborate robes with all manners of jewelry, piercings, and unusual hair styling made no one person like the people standing next to them.

And the _food_. Even now, sitting in the cold corner of the library in Skyhold, Dorian could taste the air of the Minrathous market if he lingered on the memory long enough. The smell of cinnamon and clove first thing in the morning as giant rolls of pastry would be brought to the front of the cafes, and before long the smell of rich dark coffee would add another layer, more depth, to the air.

By lunchtime, the smell would have changed to turmeric and cumin, as rich tomato broths with the most _tender_ chicken Dorian had ever had would be cooked on the sidewalk in large terracotta pots. Served with fragrant rice, Dorian always thought it was a wonder that he still fit his robes after he had eaten his fill.

As the often too hot Tevinter sun would set, it would change again. The rich earthy smell of lamb cooking over an open flame mixed with the cooling scent of tall clay containers of a bright mint sauce would prepare people for the end of the day. Once dinner was finished, the sweet scent of various tobacco from large water pipes with long hoses smoked by the Magisters along the sidewalks would leave a fragrant cloud over the market as the various vendors would take down their stands, only to rest for a few hours before they did the entire thing over again.

Alexius had taught him plenty about beauty as well, the deep smell of well-bound leather books, the bright sharpness of fresh cherries brought to him in a golden bowl as he studied.

There was a beauty in the magic they created, too. Even if he had corrupted it in the end.

It was for all of these reasons, these memories, that Dorian was not at all surprised that he almost forgot his name in shock as Camris had opened the gates to Haven during the Mage attack.

By the Maker was Camris _beautiful._

Tall, at least for an Elf, Camris had broad shoulders. His arms, made of lean corded muscle from years of using a bow and daggers, looked as if they had been sculpted from marble. He had lovely tanned skin, just slightly lighter than Dorian’s, with a scar that ran from the top of his right eyebrow and down his cheek, stopping just at his jaw. Dorian wasn’t sure what had caused the injury, but the perfectly straight line, and the fact that his tattoos ran through the mark, told him it had happened when he was young.

Dorian smiled to himself, glancing out the window, _the tattoos_. They were apparently the mark of _Elgar’nan_ , or so Solas had told him, the Elven god of vengeance and the sun. The soft grey lines covered much of his brow, cheekbones, and curled down to his chin. Depending on how you looked at them, they were either the branches of trees or the start of flames, either way, they gave Camris a regal air.

The first thing that Dorian had noticed was Camris’ eyes, a bright warm gold, more yellow than brown, they suited his dedication to the sun god. It helped, of course, that they were surrounded by some of the longest and darkest eyelashes Dorian had ever seen, almost giving the illusion of eyeliner.

Camris’ hair was something of interest too, pin-straight, and hanging almost to his hips in an elegant sheet of deep brown, complementing the warmth of his skin and his eyes.

Camris reminded Dorian of Tevinter and its gliding, and as he had gotten to know the man, he found that despite some initial shyness, Camris was every inch as warm as his homeland. It was hardly surprising that only a month into his time with the Inquisition, he was completely smitten with the man.

“Dorian?”

Dorian jumped, turning from the window and finding the man that had been occupying his mind smiling at him, “I’m sorry, I was distracted, what can I do for you, Inquisitor?”

“Something important on your mind?” Camris leaned against one of the shelves, “I can come back.”

“I was thinking of Tevinter,” Dorian smiled ruefully as he stood, “the warmth and the food. I daresay Ferelden lacks a certain skill for seasoning…well…anything.”

“The Humans do, yes,” Camris agreed, “Elvhen food is quite good, though of course, I’m biased.”

“I’m afraid I’ve never had the pleasure.”

“I’ll show you, sometime.”

“I’d like that,” Dorian fought the urge to smile at the idea of the two sharing an intimate dinner, “now, I’m sure you’re not here to discuss food.”

“Uh, no,” Camris’ face fell slightly, “I have a letter, it’s from your father.”

***

“I appreciate you coming with me,” Dorian sighed as he took his horse from one of Master Dennet’s grooms, “I’m sure this is some sort of trap.”

“Never fear, Dorian, I wouldn’t let him hurt you,” Camris mounted his hart without any tack, the strange white beast letting out a groan as he did, “oh stop, I’m not heavy.”

“How do you steer that thing without reins?”

“With my legs,” Camris waited for Varric to take his seat on the small cart they were bringing with them, Bull sitting in the back with the tents and supplies, “everyone ready?”

“No, but let’s go anyway.”

***

“Let’s stop near Dennet’s farm, we can camp for the night and we’ll be in Redcliffe by tomorrow lunchtime.”

“The sooner the better,” Dorian frowned, “I still don’t trust him not to come looking for me.”

“I’ll set some traps, and we have scouts in the area to keep watch. You’ll be fine,” Camris tried to reassure Dorian, “though I understand your concern.”

“Oh? Do you have a bad relationship with your father as well?”

“I don’t know who my father is,” Camris shrugged, “so no, not exactly. My mother is kind enough, if a bit overbearing with the “ _when are you going to have children the Elvhen are dying out”_ , but the Keeper of my clan was sort of like my father.”

“You got along with him?”

“Everyone got along with him,” Camris pointed out the small gathering of tents as they came into his view, still too far for Dorian’s eyes to see, “he writes me, sometimes. He has always wanted to get to know Humans, but our history with them made him nervous. I think the fact that I live with mostly Humans now amuses him. He asks me all sorts of questions.”

“Such as?”

“What do you look like, what do you eat, what are your opinions on the Elvhen, and their magics,” Camris steered his heart into one of the empty paddocks as they arrived on Dennet’s farm.

“I suppose I ignorantly assumed your clan would have some experience with Humans.”

“This is the most time I’ve ever spent with a Human, Qunari, or Dwarf.”

“And what do you think?”

“So far? It’s been pretty amazing.”

***

“I prefer the company of men. My father disapproves,” Dorian was almost embarrassed to admit it, but the anger of his father’s betrayal gave him the courage to tell Camris.

“That’s…a big concern in Tevinter, then?”

“Only if you’re trying to live up to an impossible standard. Every Tevinter family is intermarrying to distill the perfect mage, perfect body, perfect mind. The perfect leader. It means every perceived flaw – every aberration – is deviant and shameful. It must be hidden.”

“Your father might be here to reach out. You could give him a chance.”

“Let’s just go.”

“Dorian, please, if you’ll only listen to me.”

“Why? So you can spout more convenient lies?” Dorian took an angry step forward, “he taught me to hate blood magic. “The resort of the weak mind.” Those are _his_ words. But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life? You tried to change me.”

Camris took a step toward Dorian as his voice cracked.

“I only wanted what was best for you!”

“You wanted the best for _you!_ For your fucking legacy! Anything for that!” Dorian leaned against the bar, head down.

Camris stood beside him, speaking softly, “don’t leave it like this, Dorian You’ll never forgive yourself.”

Dorian studied Camris’ face for a moment, his warm eyes looking at him with concern, for a moment, he could smell a Minrathous morning, with a sigh, he turned back to his father.

“Tell me why you came.”

***

“Should we go in? Bull asked after an hour had passed.

“No,” Camris picked a small purple flower by his leg, “you two go shopping if you like, I’ll wait for Dorian. I’m afraid this is one of those conversations that will take as long as it needs to.”

“You’re sure?”

“Buy me something pretty.”

It was only a half an hour after Bull and Varric had left to explore the town that the doors to the tavern opened, and an exhausted looking Dorian stepped out from the darkened building.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m exhausted,” Dorian rubbed his face, “where are the others?”

“Shopping,” Camris stood, “did you want to join them, or head back to camp?”

“Camp, please.”

“Let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know these are shorter chapters than my usual work, but I'm sick. 
> 
> Please leave kudos if you're enjoying it, it's like author food.

Dorian hadn’t spoken to any of them again outside of the occasional _please_ and _thank you_ until they had arrived back to Skyhold, where he quickly passed his horse to one of the grooms and retreated to the safety of the library.

Camris gave him an hour to collect himself before he made his way up to the alcove that Dorian called home.

Dorian was looking out the window, and he spoke as soon as he heard Camris stop behind him, “He says we’re alike. Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Not I’m not certain. I don’t know if I can forgive him.”

“Are you alright?”

“No. Not really. Thank you for bringing me out there. It wasn’t what I expected, but…it’s something. Maker knows what you must think of me now, after that whole display.”

“I think you’re very brave.”

“Brave?”

“It’s not easy to abandon tradition and walk your own path,” Camris gestured to his Dalish leathers, “I understand the risk you took to do something different than what was expected of you.”

Dorian managed a small smile, “at any rate, time to drink myself into a stupor, it’s been that sort of day. Join me sometime, if you have a mind.”

“Here?”Camris glanced around the library, “you want to drink yourself into a stupor here?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure that I could handle Varric and Bull staring at me with those pitying eyes of theirs all night.”

“You must have quarters here. I’ve caught you sleeping in that chair a few times, but I know you don’t use it as a bed nightly.”

“I do, but then I would be drinking alone, and I’m afraid that is slightly more self-loathing then I was planning on.”

“Follow me,” Camris nodded his head toward the stairs, “we have one-stop to make, and then we can drink together.”

“Oh,” Dorian’s surprise at the idea spurred him into following Camris’ without question, “alright.”

Their stop, as it turns out, ad been to a small library that Dorian had always assumed was a broom closet.

“Why did I not know this was here?” Dorian tried to read over the titles as Camris pulled a few bottles of wine down from the wall.

“It’s sort of a secret trove of things that I’ve found, so I don’t tell many people about it,” Camris leaned against the desk as Dorian flipped through one of the books, “you’re welcome to it though.”

“Is this in Elven?”

Camris set the bottles on the table and moved to look over Dorian’s shoulder, “yes.”

“What does it say?”

“It’s talking about some sort of death magic,” Camris reached around Dorian’s arm, and suddenly Dorian was aware that Camris was almost completely pressed against the back of him as he pointed out a word on the page, “this is our word for death, and this is afterlife. I don’t understand the idea myself, but I could probably translate it close enough if you’re interested.”

“I…” Dorian cleared his throat, “would appreciate that.”

“Oh,” Camris took a big step back, “ _ir abelas,_ Dorian. I didn’t mean to crowd you.”

“No, it’s alright,” Dorian waved off his concern, “it’s just been some time that I’ve had someone that close to me.”

“Still, I understand that’s not appropriate with Humans, I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Dorian closed the book and tucked it under his arm, “where to now, Inquisitor?”

“My quarters?”

“After you.”

***

“This is…” Dorian spun in a slow circle as he took in the large bright room, “different.”

Camris laughed, a quiet huff of breath as he set the bottles on his desk, “forgive my decorating, Altus Pavus, I’ve never actually had a room to decorate before.”

Dorian flushed, “oh, no, of course not.”

“Given that I’ve always lived outside, the fact that I have something in the way of indoor water supply is quite odd to me,” Camris gestured to a large wooden bath near the corner of the room, “so when Josephine gave me a book of beds to flip through, I set it aside and stuck with the basic one that they had provided.”

“Do you still have it?”

“What, the bed, or the book?”

“The book,” Dorian took an offered glass of wine and sat on the small couch, “I could help with my keen eye.”

“Oh, certainly,” Camris found the memo from Josephine and brought it over, handing it to Dorian, “teach me all you know.”

***

“No,” Dorian laughed, now far past the point of tipsy and well into good drunkenness, “I’m telling you, that Avvar bed would scare off any potential love interests. Honestly, Cam, you can’t have a dead _bear_ on your bed.”

“Oh of course,” Camris tucked his hair behind his pointed ear and rolled his eyes, “I forgot all about my very extensive love life. Fine, then what do you suggest?”

“I would go for this one if it were my room,” Dorian pointed to the ornate, highly gilded, bed from Orlais, “but I don’t think that would suit you. I think you’d be better with this four-poster bed. You could shut the curtains at night, it might feel more like sleeping in a tent.”

“And my love life will be alright?”

“You could use those posts for all sorts of creative things if you had some rope nearby. You’re a rogue, I’m sure you’re good with knots,” Dorian winked, emboldened by the liquor and the warmth of Camris sitting bedside him.

“Well, you’ve sold me,” Camris took the book from Dorian, setting it aside, “I will tell Josie tomorrow, and my future love life awaits.”

“Were you with anyone, before coming here I mean?”

“No,” Camris drained his glass of wine and refilled it, topping Dorian’s off as they finished the bottle, “the girl I had feelings for preferred my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“He’s the more attractive of the two of us,” Camris shrugged.

“I find it completely unbelievable that anyone could be more attractive than you,” Dorian fought the urge to cringe as the words fell from his mouth, covering the expression with another sip of wine.

“I suppose it’s subjective,” Camris turned to face Dorian on the couch, gracefully tucking one leg under the other, “qualities that the Elvhen find attractive may be different than Humans.”

“Give me an example.”

“I’ll add that it might differ within clans as well, but _my_ clan prefers those with either very light or very dark hair, like Sera or like yours. My brown hair was considered _average_.”

“Your hair is not _average_ , Cam, it’s beautiful and warm, and it always looks impossibly soft.”

Camris smiled, “and light eyes, a bright blue, are more popular than my yellow eyes.”

“I’m quite fond of your eyes,” Dorian protested, “they’re unique.”

“Well, thank you, but she didn’t feel that way, so my brother it was.”

“No accounting for taste on her part, though I’m sure your brother is lovely.”

“He has magic, too, which always helps.”

“Ah yes, as you can see by my long line of suitors, it certainly gives you options,” Dorian waved over the empty room, “my dance card has been full for months.”

“What do you find attractive then, or what would be attractive in Tevinter?”

“Tevinter values uniqueness more than a specific look. You would have been quite the popular man in Tevinter, the tattoos, your hair, your eyes, the way you’re built…you would have quite the demand.”

“I know where I’m going once this mess is done then,” Camris drained his glass and set it aside, “did you agree with them, or did you have other preferences?”

“Aside from preferring men you mean?”

“Yes, aside from that.”

Dorian shrugged, “the _liking men_ part tended to restrict my options, as it were. When I had it, I was just grateful for the company.”

Camris nodded, “yes, loneliness is not a fun way to spend your time. I’m sorry to hear that Tevinter is still so backward about the entire thing.”

“The Elves don’t mind?”

“What, if a man beds a man or a woman beds a woman? No. You may get some pressure about the fact the Elvhen are dying out and it really would be best if you had a child, but for the most part, it is respected that love is love, regardless of what that looks like.”

“It’s settled then, you can go to Tevinter, and I’ll join your clan.”

“Deal.”

“Out of curiosity,” Dorian set his glass aside too, turning to mirror Camris’ position on the couch, “are you interested in men?”

“Hmm,” Camris rubbed at his chin as he considered the idea, “I’m not sure. I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Pity,” Dorian couldn’t help but smile as the tanned skin across Camris’ cheeks flushed a bright pink.

“Thank you, for this,” Dorian gestured around the room, “I would rather like to do it again.”

“Are you going to be able to make your way back to your quarters alright?”

“Yes, yes,” Dorian waved off the concern, “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Dorian.”

“Goodnight, Cam.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not beta read. Still bad at grammar. This chapter is longer, and more typical of my other writing. 
> 
> Please feed me kudos and comments. It's what keeps me going.

Dorian and Camris had shared a mutual wince as they walked into the great hall the following morning.

“Is it just me, or is there carpet on your tongue, too?”

“Not just you,” Camris sat in his usual chair heavily, “remind me to never get drunk off of red wine again. My soul hurts.”

“Any ancient Elvhen hangover cure?” Dorian grimaced as Bull loudly pulled a chair out beside him, the legs dragging heavily across the stone floor.

“My Keeper used to shame my hangovers from me, a few stern looks and I’d be all set.”

Dorian started to laugh before his stomach told him to think better of it, “ugh, I think I won’t be much use today, Inquisitor.”

“That’s okay,” Camris waved off Dorian’s concern, “you’re entitled to a day off after all that.”

 _Oh, right_ , Dorian had almost forgotten, “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you are,” Camris accepted a cup of tea from Solas gratefully, “but that doesn’t mean that you don’t need some time to consider what happened. It’ll give you some time to figure out what you think about it all.”

“Inquisitor,” Josephine interrupted Camris, “my apologies, but I have several important things to discuss with you.”

“Josie, the love of my life,” Camris looked up at Josephine with a small smile, “when do you have unimportant things to discuss with me?”

“Very funny,” Josephine rolled her eyes, but grinned, “come on, the others are waiting.”

“I’m coming,” Camris stood, taking his tea with him, “take it easy today, Dorian. I’ll see you later.”

Dorian watched as Camris left, walking with Josephine into her office.

“Oh, Sparkler, out of all the available men in Skyhold you fell for the one that likes _women_?” Varric clutched at his chest dramatically, “are you just a glutton for punishment?”

“Yes,” Dorian sighed, “keep it to yourself, alright? He doesn’t need to feel bad about something he has no control over.”

Bull placed one of his massive hands-on Dorian’s shoulder, a silent reassurance. Glancing up, Dorian could see shared worried expressions on Varric and Krem’s faces.

“Oh stop, you’re all being so dramatic,” Dorian stood, “I’m perfectly aware that our dear Inquisitor is not available to me.”

“It’s not about him, Sparkler,” Varric disagreed, “look, I know you don’t like doing the whole _talking about my past_ thing, but we just saw you get ripped apart by your dad, we don’t want to see you with a broken heart, too. We’re just worried.”

Dorian hesitated, touched by the sentiment, “I appreciate that, but honestly, I’ll be fine.”

“Well,” Varric leaned back in his chair, linking his fingers over his stomach as he watched Dorian, “if you’re not, we’ll be here.”

***

“Just the man I wanted to see,” Camris greeted Dorian as he joined them for dinner, “how are you feeling now?”

“I slept most of the day, to be honest,” Dorian sat next to Camris, “you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, I did. I’ve met your family, how would you like to meet mine?”

“Meet…your family?”

“I have to make the trip, my brother is getting married. I thought why not take the opportunity to invite some of my friends?”

“I’d be delighted to be your date to your brother's wedding,” Dorian joked, but caught Varric wince out of the corner of his eye, “who else is coming with us?”

“I was thinking that we would bring Varric and Bull, maybe Cassandra if she would like to come,” Camris called out loud enough for her to hear, “have you ever seen a Dalish wedding?”

“Inquisitor, this is the longest I’ve been around anyone Dalish in general,” Cassandra called back, “but I would be happy to come.”

“Perfect. Bull, Varric, up for a trip?”

“Do I have to wear a shirt?”

“No, Bull, you don’t have to wear a shirt.”

“I’m in.”

“Every good story needs a romance,” Varric rubbed his chin as he considered, “when do we leave?”

“Two days.”

“How long will we be gone?”

“About a week?”

“Sure, why not.”

“It’s settled then,” Camris looked delighted, and Dorian felt his heart lurch in his chest, “I suppose I’ll have to teach you Elvhen over the next few days.”

“Do they not speak common?” Dorian almost panicked.

“I’m just joking, Dorian,” Camris’ eyes were sparkling now, and it did nothing to help Dorian’s current situation, “they’ll love you.”

***

“I’m nervous,” Dorian whispered to Varric as he placed his bag in the cart, “why am I nervous? It’s not as if I’m courting him and going to win over the family.”

“Oh, Sparkler,” Varric sighed, “I’m worried about you.”

“Why are you worried about our dear Dorian?” Camris’ voice made them both jump as he followed up behind them, adding his bag to the cart.

“How long do you have, Inquisitor? I’ve got a list.”

“Nonsense, Dorian is perfect just as he is. Who are we waiting for?”

“The Seeker and Tiny. They were already down here, but Cassandra made Bull go back to bring a shirt. When he protested, she dragged him off by his horn.”

Camris laughed, “he really doesn’t need a shirt. Dalish weddings are casual, not the dressed-up events I hear about here in your Chantry.”

“Still, Cassandra wasn’t going to let him leave without a shirt.”

“I didn’t know Bull even owned a shirt.”

“I have _one_ ,” Bull grumbled as he came into view with Cassandra behind him, tossing his bag into the cart and glaring at Dorian as he laughed.

“Hey, Inquisitor,” Scout Harding greeted Camris, “here’s the map of your trip, I’ve marked all the supply drops along the way. No rifts, at least not as far as my scouts have seen.”

“That’s perfect, thank you,” Camris took the map, “did you want me to look for anything while I was away?”

“We can always use more leather,” Harding shrugged, “but have fun seeing your family.”

“Thank you,” Camris jumped up onto the back of his hart, “I’ll see you in a week or so.”

“Not if I see you sooner.”

“Everyone ready to go?” Camris watched as Dorian and Cassandra mounted their house, Bull and Varric getting into the cart.

“On your order, Inquisitor.”

***

Dorian had been expecting a lot of things upon their arrival at the current location of Camris’ clan, but an arrow sailing past his ear was not one of them.

Camris had immediately exploded into Elvhen, and while Dorian wasn’t fluent in the language, judging by the flush of the young man's ears currently being shouted at by Camris, he imagined the language being used was not exactly friendly.

Suddenly there was a finger pointed in Dorian’s face by Camris, and the other Elf turned to face him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see Camris, I didn’t know if you were coming to hurt us.”

“No harm done,” Dorian assured, “you missed.”

“Go tell the Keeper we’re here, and make sure you tell anyone else you see along the way that it’s _me_. I don’t want any more shots at my friends.”

“Right away.”

“Sorry,” Camris sighed, “we’ve been hunted by Humans for years, and Tevinter is known for stealing the best hunters from clans as slaves.”

“I wasn’t speaking, how would he know I was from Tevinter?”

Camris snorted, “because you look like you’re from Tevinter.”

“What do you mean?”

“The moustache, the gold everywhere, the haircut,” Camris waited a moment before easing his hart forward, “just like you can tell Cassandra is from Nevarra. Come on, there will be some fenced-in space just up here, we can leave the horses there and go find the clan.”

***

“Cam!” a slender Elven woman came running for them as soon as the clan came into view, scooped up into a warm hug.

“Mamae,” Camris clung to her, “are you well?”

“Always better for seeing you.”

“Let me introduce you to my friends,” Camris pulled back, and Dorian could immediately see the family resemblance, “this is Dorian Pavus of House Pavus from Tevinter, he’s one of the Mages that works with me.”

“Dorian, or do I call you Ser Pavus? I’m never sure how it works with Humans,” Arisa’s smile was just like Camris’, warm and friendly. She was nearly a head shorter than Camris, and her hair was a bright silver rather than his warm brown. Dorian was immediately taken by her eyes, they were almost the same colour as the sky and immediately filled Dorian with the sense of maternal warmth as she greeted him.

“Dorian is fine,” Dorian gave a small bow.

“Dorian, this is my mother, Arisa Lavellan.”

“A pleasure.”

“This is Lady Cassandra Pentaghast. She was the Right Hand to the Divine, and now she works as one of my advisors.”

“Lady Lavellan,” Cassandra shook Arisa’s hand, something which appeared to amuse her greatly judging by the smile on her face.

“Arisa is fine.”

“This is Varric Tethras, and author from Kirkwall who was sort of…dragged…into the Inquisition by Cassandra.”

“Arisa,” Varric greeted with a smile, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Not to be rude,” Arisa looked between Dorian and Varric, “but why are you so much shorter than Dorian?”

“I’m a Dwarf,” Varric laughed, “but I’m from Kirkwall, it’s confusing, I know.”

“Ah,” Arisa flushed, “my apologies. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a Dwarf without a beard.”

“Varric is too handsome to have a beard,” Camris continued, “and this is the Iron Bull.”

“ _Creators,”_ Arisa took a step behind Camris.

“It’s alright, he’s big, but he’s very gentle. Bull runs a mercenary group called Bull’s Chargers. They volunteered to help close the breach.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Bull promised, “the ax is mostly for show.”

“You’re…Qunari?”

“That’s right.”

“Well, you’ve certainly met quite the group,” Arisa held tight to Camris’ arm, “but you don’t look too worse for wear. Maybe a little thin.”

“In comparison to Bull everyone looks thin,” Camris rolled his eyes, “where’s Arlan?”

“He’s coming, he was working on some weaving for the wedding when you arrived.”

“Is he still terrible at it?”

“Speak for yourself, at least I have the magic to fix it.”

Dorian felt his jaw drop as he turned to face the new voice, something Camris noticed as he reached over to tap Dorian’s chin, “easy, Dorian. He’s practically a married man.”

“I’ll be damned, you’re twins?” Varric pulled a small notebook from his jacket and made a note, “you must look like your Dad, Inquisitor.”

“So I’ve been told,” Camris pulled Arlan into a hug, “how have you been?”

“Busy, but the clan is healthy, so I’m happy to put in the work.”

If Camris was warmth and comfort, Arlan was a cool sea breeze. The same height as Camris, but a slender build, Arlan looked over the group with bright blue eyes. His hair, much like his mothers, was a blond-silver, which had been cut shorter than Camris’, hanging around his shoulders.

“Welcome,” Arlan greeted, “to clan Lavellan.”

“Thanks, we heard you were getting married,” Varric walked up beside Dorian, tapping on the back hard to bring him back to the conversation, “when’s the big day.”

“Two days from now,” Arlan wrapped his arm over Camris’ shoulder, “I’m glad you came back, little brother.”

“You’re two minutes older than me, and I command an army,” Camris ducked out from under Arlan’s arm and landed an open-palmed smack to the back of his head.

“Be nice, boys,” Arisa reminded, “you haven’t seen Camris in months, don’t be upsetting him now.”

“May I remind you that it is only due to _my_ troops that Clan Lavellan still exists.”

“For which we are grateful, Da’len.”

Camris pushed past Arlan to rush for the older Elf as he came into view, pulling him into a warm embrace.

“It is good to see you,” Camris pulled back with a grin, keeping his hands on the older man’s shoulders.

“You as well. I see you brought a small team with you,” the man turned to face the group, “I am Keeper Istimaethorial Lavellan, well met, friends of Camris.”

“I’m afraid I couldn’t even being to pronounce that,” Dorian looked to Camris for guidance, “but thank you for having us.”

“You can just call me the Keeper, none of the children in the Clan can pronounce my name either, I wouldn’t expect a Human, Dwarf, and Qunari to manage it. Now, come, let’s introduce you to the rest of the Clan.”

***

“Are you happy to be home?” Dorian asked as Camris gave him a tour of the camp, Bull busy helping with fence posts, Varric telling tales to the children, and Cassandra speaking at length with Arisa.

“You know, I thought I would be,” Camris leaned against one of the trees near the halla, “but they seem to have moved on without me, and…well…I think I’m growing used to life at Skyhold.”

“Lots of pretty women here,” Dorian offered, looking over the Clan, “and men, for that matter.”

“None who are interested in me, I’m afraid. I have another brother, too, but he’s at a sister clan. He should be arriving tomorrow. Between you and me, I’m hoping to set him up with Cassandra.”

“Oh?”

“He’s a romantic at heart, and a bit too soft for most of the women in his clan. He’s perfect for Cassandra.”

“What about you?”

“Cassandra is lovely, but not my type. Besides, we’re friends, and I wouldn’t like to risk that for a relationship. Not to mention the first thing she ever said to me was “ _Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you now”_. I know fear does it for some men, but let me tell you, it has rather the opposite effect on certain parts of my anatomy.”

Dorian laughed, “quite.”

***

“I’ve set an aravel aside for you,” the Keeper had told them later that night, “we’ve built a few this year, so there are enough for you two to share one.”

“Thank you, which one?”

“Just there, next to the tree,” the Keeper pointed to a newer looking aravel, “I’ve given the Qunari one of his own, Cassandra has asked to sleep outside, and Varric said he was content to help the hunters keep watch, so he’ll sleep with them when they’re done.”

“ _Ma serannas._ ”

“Sleep well.”

“Did you want to stay up, or shall we retire for the night?”

“I don’t mean to sound rude,” Dorian looked over the aravel, “how are we meant to both fit in there?”

“Come on, I’ll show you,” Camris helped Dorian to his feet, walking easily through the camp without interruption as everyone started to disappear to their sleeping quarters, “it has a side door, here.”

Camris pulled the small door open and stepped inside, waving for Dorian to join him.

“It’s very small in here,” Dorian couldn’t even stand within the space, “we’re going to be very close.”

“Does that bother you? I can sleep outside.”

“No!” Dorian was quick to argue, “no, it doesn’t bother me, exactly. I was more concerned that it might bother _you_.”

“I’m used to sleeping in rooms like this.”

“With men that prefer the company of men?”

“Oh,” Camris nodded in understanding, “yes, sometimes. It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

“So long as you’re sure.”

“Positive,” Camris started undoing his leathers, stacking them in the corner, “get undressed and we’ll set up the bedroll.”

“ _The_ bedroll, as in singular?”

“As in singular.”

Dorian swore under his breath but followed Camris’ example, and undressed down to his smalls, waiting for further instruction.

“Right, now we take this,” Camris pulled a rolled-up mat from the far corner, rolling it out over the floor, “and these,” two blankets came next, “and then we’re ready for bed.”

Dorian looked over the bed skeptically, “we won’t both fit on that.”

“Of course we will come on,” Camris pulled one of the blankets back and sat on the bedroll, “let’s go, Dorian. You’re not going to sleep on your knees over there.”

Dorian let out a frustrated huff, “I’m not sure you understand my concern.”

“Enlighten me then,” Camris crossed his legs and looked at Dorian expectantly, “at least then I can help.”

“You’re _beautiful_ , Cam,” Dorian sighed, “and as much as it makes me sound like an adolescent to say, I’m not confident in my ability to keep my body under control if we have to lay together on that tiny bed. The last thing I want to do is risk our friendship because I’ve been touch starved for months…well…years.”

“You think I’m beautiful?”

Dorian stared at Camris dumbfounded, “that’s what you took from what I just said?”

“Well, yes,” Camris shrugged, one of his perfect tanned shoulders peeking from under his hair, “you’re the first person that’s ever said that to me.”

“Then I dare to say you’ve spent your life around people with less than ideal eyesight.”

Camris huffed out a laugh, “I’m not worried about your body reacting to my proximity, Dorian. We’re both grown men, we know that it’s likely that one or both of us would be aroused in the morning, anyway.”

Dorian studied Camris’ face for a moment, waiting for any sign of discomfort before moving to sit with him on the bedroll.

“Now, usually one of us would turn on their side and the other would sort of slot up behind them. Do you have a preference?”

Dorian stretched out, laying on his right side on the edge of the mattress, “I know I won’t be able to control myself if I curl around you. This would be easier for me.”

Camris shuffled, and within a minute Dorian felt Camris’ bare legs brush his, one of his arms wrapping over Dorian’s waist to pull him back toward the middle of the mattress, snug against the firm wall of Camris’ chest.

“Comfortable?”

“Terrified,” Dorian decided for honesty, “that I’m one move away from a cultural incident”

“I trust you,” Camris squeezed Dorian’s hip affectionately.

 _You shouldn’t_ , Dorian thought to himself, _I’m barely holding myself back from kissing you_.

“Goodnight,” Dorian managed to say instead.

“Goodnight.”

Camris dropped off into a deep sleep within minutes, his familiarity with this sleeping arrangement making him comfortable.

Dorian, on the other hand, laid awake for hours.

Camris’ hand was limp against his stomach, and he could feel it brushing his skin each time he took a breath. It would be _so easy_ , Dorian realized, to link their fingers together. Once Dorian thought about it, the idea drove him crazy. Eventually, he gave in. Carefully tangling their fingers together and moving their hands up to his chest, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of someone holding him.

The movement must have stirred Camris’ awake, because Camris’ fingers gripped Dorian’s for a moment, a quick squeeze.

“Sorry,” Dorian moved to drop Camris’ hand.

“Don’t be silly,” Camris mumbled against the back of Dorian’s neck, “if you want to hold hands, that’s fine.”

Dorian waited for a moment before tightening his grip again, fighting the urge to smile as Camris’ started to rub circles into the back of Dorian’s hand with his thumb.

As Camris dropped back into sleep Dorian realized that Varric had been right.

He was in trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed a few errors I noticed in the other chapters, sorry about that. My writing isn't great when I'm feeling well, it's really bad when I'm sick.

Dorian woke in stages, the comfort of someone beside him keeping him just on the edge of sleep for longer than he normally managed. There was the soft puff of Camris’ breath against his neck, the front of his neck, he noticed. They must have turned in their sleep.

Opening his eyes, the cracks in the wood allowed for enough light for Dorian to see Camris. They were facing each other, legs tangled together. Camris’ had thrown an arm over Dorian’s waist during the night, and the other was pillowing his head. His hair seemed to have decided to take the form of ivy throughout the night, covering most of Camris’ face.

It looked impossibly soft.

Dorian considered for a moment before reaching out, brushing the hair from Camris’ face and tucking it carefully behind his pointed ear. The arm over Dorian’s waist tightened, and a low moan came from Camris’ throat. Dorian froze.

“Dorian?”

He swallowed heavily, “yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Your hair was in your face.”

“Hmm,” Camris’ eyes opened, meeting Dorian’s, “have you ever bedded an Elf before?”

“No…why?”

“That explains it,” Camris smiled, “my ears are _very_ sensitive. Touching them is usually only done if you’re courting and in an intimate relationship.”

“Oh,” Dorian blushed, “my apologies.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Camris closed his eyes again, “did you manage to sleep?”

“Eventually,” Dorian winced as his cock twitched against Camris’ thigh, _damned morning reactions_.

Camris arched an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

He also didn’t move away, Dorian noticed.

“I told you it’s not so bad, once you get used to it.”

“I can think of worse things than waking up in the arms of a beautiful man.”

Camris smiled, “you think I’m pretty, Dorian?”

“Yes, of course I do. Anyone with _eyes_ should come to that conclusion.”

“I would have thought the scar would put you off, or the tattoos.”

“May I ask how you got that scar?”

“Fighting off a slaver when I was about 17.”

Dorian thought back to the day before, and their almost violent welcome, “a Tevinter slaver?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Makers breath, I’m sorry.”

“For?” Camris opened a quizzical eye, “it wasn’t your fault.”

“Still…”

“Dorian,” Camris smiled warmly, “you are not personally responsible for the actions of your countrymen. Corypheus, the slaver, your father, none of that was your doing.”

“I…”Dorian faltered.

“Honestly, how on earth could you be responsible for it? Just because you’re from the same place doesn’t mean that you’re the same _person_. Take it from me, the brunette is a sea of blonds, sometimes you can stand apart from those around you.”

Dorian brought his hand to Camris’ face, tracing the scar with his thumb, “I would hate to think I’m like them. That my ego would drive me to such insane things.”

“You’re not like them, you couldn’t be.”

“Thank you,” Dorian moved his hand to Camris’ shoulder, squeezing affectionately, “I think I needed to hear that.”

“I’ll be here to remind you if you need to hear it again,” Camris carefully untangled his legs from Dorian’s, sitting up on the bedroll, “I need to get dressed, now that I’m here, I’ll be expected to help. I should prepare for the morning hunt.”

“What should I do for the day?”

“Whatever you like, though I’m sure my mother would like to get to know you. Are you coming?”

“I, uh, need a moment.”

Camris laughed, “Dorian, I have the same parts, I know how they work.”

“I understand that,” Dorian sat up, “however, should there ever come a day where you see my _parts_ in their current condition, I hope it’s because I’m about to ravish you into a bed.”

Camris laughed again, “alright, I’ll see you outside soon. Lock the door behind me if you need some privacy, my clan wouldn’t think anything of walking in on you.”

“I appreciate the warning.”

***

“So, you have feelings for my son,” Arisa started the conversation casually over lunch. She had pulled Dorian away from the group, stating that she had _wanted to get to know him_ , while they ate.

Dorian coughed, choking mid-bite, “excuse me?”

“I might be old, but I’m not stupid,” Arisa rubbed Dorian’s back to help clear his throat, “I saw how you looked at him last night.”

“My lady,” Dorian scrambled, “I assure you, I only have your son’s best interest at heart.”

“Does he like men?”

“I don’t believe so,” Dorian shrugged, “he told me that he had never considered it.”

“Be careful with your heart, Da’len,” Arisa looked over the clan as they milled around, “Camris is a good man, a kind man, and he loves his friends with his whole heart. Make sure that you’re clear where you stand with him. Elvhen do things a little differently. We tend to be very physical with our friends, which I understand is different from Humans. He may do things which are normal for him which may seem intimate for you.”

“Wise words, Lady Lavellan.”

“Arisa,” she corrected, “I won’t tell him about your feelings. It’s not my place, but I think you should.”

“To be honest with you, Arisa, I don’t know if my heart could take the rejection. It’s easier to never lose something that you didn’t have. If I were to tell him and lose him as a friend, it would ruin me.”

“He wouldn’t stop being your friend over something like that,” Arisa turned as the sound of a loud cheer called out over the clan, “the hunters are back. It must be a good hunt.”

“Camris restocked an entire town full of refugees when I met him, it took him days, but he took down six big rams to do it.”

“That sounds like him.”

“Then he went and found all of these caches hidden all over the Hinterlands and gave them to Inquisition scouts to keep everyone warm. Shortly thereafter he went all over for a healer running out of herbs. Don’t get me started on the time he dragged me for days to go and leave flowers at the grave of a woman he didn’t know.”

“Mmhmm, and then you fell in love with him.”

“For that and many other reasons, yes, I did.”

***

Camris’ other brother arrived later that night, older than him by a few years, Cyrel had the same silver-blond hair and bright blue eyes as Arlan and was just as slender.

“He’s a Mage as well,” Camris explained, “we don’t like to have too many magic users in one clan, and we already had three. When a sister clan came by who didn’t have any other than their Keeper, he offered to join them. He loves to read and spends most of his time trading magical work for books. I send some of the books we find to him, the ones that we already have in the library.”

“Why do you think that he would be suitable for Cassandra?”

“They both love poetry, and he’s looking for someone to settle down with. Once he’s spoken with everyone, I’ll introduce them.”

“Are you a romantic at heart, Cam?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Camris shrugged, “no one has ever given me a chance to find out.”

“You mean to tell me that no one in this fine clan of yours has ever courted you?”

“No,” Camris gestured over the group, “but as you can see, there’s no lacking for attention. It’s not unusual for someone to never have a partner, but spend their entire life sharing an aravel with a close friend. We hold each other as I held you last night, and it helps ease the want, a bit.”

“I wouldn’t have even been afforded that in my homeland,” Dorian watched as the clan greeted Cyrel, those who he assumed were close friends wrapping their arms around him and walking around together, “I’ve never yet been with a man who would stay the night, or be seen with me.”

“You deserve better than that.”

“Yes, so your mother was saying.”

“Ah, did she give you one of her mothering talks this morning? She tends to adopt people when she thinks they need a bit of guidance.”

“Yes, of a sort. It was nice, to be honest. My mother had very little to do with my upbringing. It was nice to have someone to talk to.”

“She’s a good mother, though she worries about me.”

“I think that’s what good mothers are meant to do.”

“Then she is one of the best.”

***

It turned out that Camris was something in the way of a matchmaker. Shortly after he had introduced Cassandra to Cyrel they had wandered off, book in hand, to read together as the sun started to drop in the sky.

“Called it,” Camris smirked as they walked from view, “come on, I want to show you something.”

“What are you showing me, brave Inquisitor?”

“Come on,” Camris took Dorian’s hand, linking their fingers and leading him into the forest, “we have a bit of a walk, but we need to be quick.”

Dorian followed obediently behind him, clinging to his hand like a lifeline. The walk only took five or so minutes, but it brought them out onto a clearing at the edge of a small cliff. Beneath them, a small river ran off into the distance as far as Dorian could see.

“Come sit with me,” Camris walked to the edge, sitting with his feet dangling over the side.

“Is it safe?”

“For the Bull? Maybe not. For you and I? Absolutely,” Camris looked over his shoulder at Dorian, “come on, Lethalin, this is the best place to watch the sunset.”

“Lethalin?” Dorian asked as he cautiously sat beside Camris.

“It means…friend, or clanmate, like what I was telling you about earlier. Someone who is close to you.”

“Is that how you see us in ten years? Sharing a small aravel somewhere in the forest?”

“I could only dream that you would stay with me after the war is over, but something tells me that you’ll be heading back to Tevinter.”

“Maybe you could come with me,” Dorian offered, “we save your home, and then you could help me save mine?”

“I’d like that if you could keep me safe from the slavers.”

“Do you mean that? You’d come?”

“There’s no life left for me here,” Camris waved over his shoulder in the direction of the clan, “why not?”

Dorian swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, forcing himself to watch as the sun dropped past the horizon, turning the sky into a vibrant palette of red and orange.

“What’s Tevinter like?”

“In comparison to this, sitting here with you watching this? Tevinter is not even comparable.”

“I told you it was a good view,” Camris nudged him with his shoulder, “I’ve always liked it here.”

“Right now I couldn’t imagine anywhere better.”

***

They had stayed on the ledge for hours talking until the bugs had decided that Dorian was the best meal available, and it was too dark for Dorian to see.

“As much as I’m enjoying our time together, we have a wedding to attend tomorrow. We should make our way to bed.”

“The bugs are eating you, aren’t they?”

“Terribly,” Dorian laughed, “I fear I won’t be able to see my way back.”

“That’s alright, I can lead you,” Camris stood, taking Dorian’s hand again and leading him toward the forest.

“Don’t let me fall.”

“You know I wouldn’t.”

 _Too late for that_ , Dorian sighed, “I know, I trust you.”

It took them longer on the way back, but eventually, the light from the remaining fires in the camp lit their way back to their aravel.

It was easier for Dorian to undress this time, not feeling as awkward in the small space with Camris. Instead of facing away, Dorian turned to face Camris as he got into bed.

“I wanted to tell you,” Dorian started, “how much I’ve enjoyed these past few days.”

Camris smiled, “I’m glad you could come with me.”

“I…” Dorian thought to Arisa’s words of wisdom and struggled.

“Are you alright?”

“Just thinking to something that your mother said,” Dorian shook the thought from his head, “doesn’t matter. You should sleep, I’m sure you’ll be busy tomorrow.”

“Dorian,” Camris frowned, “what is it?”

“Nothing.”

Dorian jumped as Camris’ hand came up to cup his face, only just able to make out the way that his bright yellow eyes were studying his face.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s nothing important.”

“Promise?”

Dorian hesitated, “it’s nothing that needs to be discussed right now.”

“Have I upset you?”

“No!” Dorian rushed to reassure him, “nothing like that.”

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready?”

“I will,” Dorian promised, “just not yet.”

Camris’ thumb brushed over his cheekbone, and it was all the willpower that Dorian had not to lean in and kiss him.

“You can tell me anything, Lethalin,” Camris leaned forward and kissed Dorian’s forehead, “when you’re ready.”

Dorian nodded, closing his eyes against the sudden urge to cry. When he felt confident in his voice he spoke, “are you going to hold me again tonight?”

“Or you can hold me, it’s really up to your comfort.”

“What if I want to use your muscular chest as a pillow,” Dorian joked.

“If you used a bow as much as I do, you’d have a muscular chest, too,” Camris rolled onto his back, lifting his arm and patting his chest in invitation.

Dorian curled up against Camris, head on his chest and arm over his stomach. Under his ear, Dorian could hear the steady beat of Camris’ heart.

“Goodnight, Cam.”

“Goodnight, Lethalin.”

***

When Dorian woke, Camris was already awake, gently carding his fingers through Dorian’s hair. It was beautiful, and for a minute Dorian pretended to still be asleep.

“I know you’re awake, it’s alright, we have nowhere to be for another hour. It’s very early.”

Dorian decided to wrap his arm tighter around Camris, pulling a low laugh from him.

“What’s so funny?”

“You cling to me like I’m going to run away.”

“You might.”

“I’ve waited my entire life to have a friendship like this,” Camris moved his hand from Dorian’s hair and started trailing it down his back, a soft touch up and down his spine, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sure there’s something I could do to lose you.”

“Providing you never hurt my family, I think you’re likely safe.”

“I hope so,” Dorian felt his arms come up in goosebumps as Camris’ thumb dug into a knot in his lower back.

“You have a big knot right here,” Camris pressed into it again and Dorian flinched out of the way, “here, roll onto your stomach.”

“What?”

“Roll onto our stomach,” Camris moved, patting the bed, “let me help.”

Dorian shifted onto his stomach as requested, tensing as Camris straddled his hips, the thin layer of his smalls not doing much to separate them.

“Relax, I won’t hurt you.”

“I’m not worried you’re going to hurt me. I’m worried I’m going to embarrass myself.”

“Well, I’ve been told my massages are good, but I doubt they’re _that_ good,” Camris started to knead the muscles in Dorian’s shoulder, “and if they are, well, consider it an added benefit.”

“You’re telling me that if I were to spend all over our bed, that wouldn’t bother you?”

“You’re Human, Dorian. Do you think those friendships that I was telling you about, where they live together, that they don’t learn how to navigate those situations?”

“Do they escalate to…physical relationships?” Dorian felt an odd sliver of hope at the idea. Maybe they could have a physical relationship, even if it never turned into mutual romantic feelings.

“I’m sure some of them do, my mother has been living with another woman for years and I’m _fairly_ certain I almost walked in on them a few times.”

“I’m out of my element here, but if you say it won’t make you uncomfortable, then I’m in your capable hands, Inquisitor.”

“Good, now, _relax_.”

Camris was _good_ at this, each minute that passed slowly relaxing his back and all the stress he carried within it. Other parts of his body were enjoying the attention, too. His cock hard and pinned between his body and the mattress as Camris shifted over him to press his thumbs up the length of his spine.

“How are you feeling?”

“Amazing,” Dorian mumbled into the pillow of his arms, “feel free to continue.”

“And to think, you were worried.”

“Oh, part of what I was concerned about certainly applies, but I’m sure our mattress will survive the encounter.”

“I should try harder.”

It was a joke.

Dorian _knew_ it was a joke, but still, the words fell from his mouth before he could stop it, “I wouldn’t be opposed to you trying.”

Camris’ rhythm faltered, just for a moment, “Is that so? Just because I’m pretty?”

“Just because you’re _you_.”

“Oh,” Camris was quiet for the next few minutes, Dorian just about ready to play it off as a joke before he heard Camris speak, “something to consider, then.”

“If you like,” Dorian tried for casual.

“I’ll think about it,” Camris leaned forward, kissing Dorian’s shoulder, “and let you know.”

There was a series of three loud bangs on their door, and they both jumped.

“Wake up, Cam,” Arisa shouted through the door, “it’s time to hunt for the wedding.”

“Coming,” Camris called back, groaning and dropping his weight down onto Dorian’s back, knocking the wind from him, “I don’t want to.”

“Go on, Inquisitor, they’re counting on you.”

“Fine,” Camris moved, heading to his corner to dress, “you need a few minutes?”

“Please.”

“I’ll see you later then.”

***

It turned out that Dalish weddings were quite the affair, and Dorian had immediately been swept up in helping with hair and makeup along with Arisa.

“Have you spoken to him yet?” she asked as she finished an elaborate braid on the bride, a lovely girl named Rilanna.

“Sort of?” Dorian carefully painted on some eyeliner on the Keeper, “I think I more hinted than spoke. I didn’t want to risk it going wrong right before the wedding.”

“Why do you assume it will go wrong?”

“Years of experience.”

“Camris has never really fit in with the clan,” the Keeper added, “he’s found himself with the Inquisition, maybe he will find himself with you, too.”

“Does the entire world know about my unrequited feelings?”

“Worst kept secret in camp I’m afraid,” Varric spoke from behind him, “everyone knows but Cam.”

There was some commotion, and Camris came over the hill toward them, his hair wet and hanging around his hips.

“Why do we hunt the morning of the wedding, rather than the night before? It took ages to get the blood from my hair.”

“Did you get anything good?” Rilanna asked, “hopefully?”

“A bear,” Camris smiled as Rilanna let out a squeal of happiness, “I thought you might like that.”

“A good omen indeed,” the Keeper stood, “it speaks for a long and happy marriage. Come, Rilanna, it’s time to start your preparations.”

“Would you like some makeup, Inquisitor?” Dorian gestured to the small pots around his feet.

“I don’t know if it would suit me quite like it suits you.”

“Let me try.”

“Alright,” Camris sat on the rock the Keeper had just left, facing Dorian and closing his eyes.

“Varric,” Arisa called, “come sit, let me do your hair.”

“I never say no to a pretty woman.”

“Camris, I see you set up your brother with Cassandra.”

“I did. She’s a good partner for him.”

“I think you might be right,” Arisa agreed, “they snuck off together this morning. Now you’re my only son without a partner.”

“Yes, Mamae, I know.”

“Does anyone have your affection?”

Dorian shot a look to Arisa, who smiled and winked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“Oh?” Arisa nudged Dorian with her elbow, “who?”

“Why, do you feel like meddling?”

“If meddling would help, certainly.”

“Mamae, I don’t need your help with my love life. Why don’t you help Varric?”

“Oh man, you don’t want to go there,” Varric shook his head, “I’ve got Bianca, that’s all I need.”

“Tell me about her.”

“I got her from a lyrium smuggling ring, have you ever been to Orzammar?”

A smile crossed Camris’ face as Dorian worked on dusting his eyelids with gold power.

“Don’t think for one minute she’ll forget what she asked you,” Dorian whispered to him, “mothers remember.”

“Maybe,” Camris opened one eye to look at him, “but hopefully we’ll be riding back by then.”

***

The wedding had been beautiful, even the Bull shedding a tear as the bride and groom had kissed for the first time.

Camris looked stunning in his traditional green leathers, the gold eyeshadow complimenting the warmth of his eyes and his complexion. While everyone else watched the wedding, Dorian watched Camris.

As the reception went into the night, Dorian stepped away. Sitting on one of the abandoned chairs from the earlier wedding and watching the people dance and celebrate.

It had only been a few minutes before Camris broke away from the wedding, spotting Dorian and walking over.

“Are you alright?"

“A little melancholy,” Dorian smiled reassuringly, “weddings between two men aren’t allowed in Tevinter. Watching anyone get married has always left me feeling a little….”

“Sad?” Camris provided.

“Lonely.”

“Well, I certainly understand that,” Camris looked back over his shoulder to the party, then back to Dorian before nodding his head toward their aravel, “come be lonely with me?”

Dorian nodded, following Camris to their new home, heart wanting in his chest as the lights from the wedding disappeared from view.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

“Should I take this stuff off before I sleep?” Camris’ gestured to his face, “I thought you slept in your eyeliner, but I realize now your eyelashes are just that thick.”

“You should, really, but most of it has worn off now,” Dorian undressed, waiting for Camris as he used a cloth and water from his waterskin to clear his face, “a shame, really, you look beautiful in makeup.”

“When we finally make it to the Winter Palace you can do it again, I was going crazy not scratching my face all day.”

Once the makeup was removed, Camris started work on the braids his mother had weaved into his hair, slowly untangling them.

“Come here, I’ll help with that.”

“Any excuse to touch my hair,” Camris undressed, sitting in front of Dorian.

Dorian took his time, gently running his fingers through each braid until all the braids were undone. Cautiously, and impulsively, Dorian brushed Camris’ hair over one of his shoulders, leaning in to kiss the side of his neck.

Camris’ breath caught, and Dorian felt as if they were suspended in time, eventually, Camris spoke.

“Dorian?”

“Yes?” Dorian almost winced, his voice was so wrecked there was no doubt his intentions.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian pulled away, the distance almost painful, “something about weddings, you know, it reminds you of…well…how alone you are.”

“You’re not alone, Dorian,” Camris turned, closing the distance that Dorian had left, taking his hand, “you know that.”

“I know, but I meant a partner,” Dorian sighed, “you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Camris kissed the back of Dorian’s hand, “I just haven’t had time to think about it yet. I’ve always grown up assuming I could be married to a woman if I was married at all.”

“I know,” Dorian flushed, “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

“You didn’t, it felt nice, just surprising.”

“Be glad I didn’t go for my first instinct then.”

“Which was?”

“To take the point of your ear into my mouth and suck.”

Camris groaned, covering his face with the hand not holding Dorian’s, “why do I feel as if I may regret telling you that my ears are sensitive?”

Dorian shrugged, “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m just very attracted to you.”

Camris pressed his hand to Dorian’s chest, pushing him back against the mattress, “you had too much wine at the wedding.”

“I did have quite a bit of wine at the wedding,” Dorian agreed as the aravel felt as if it spun around them, “but you’re still attractive.”

“You also may have a problem with your eyesight,” Camris spread the blanket over Dorian’s body before stretching out on his side beside him.

“It’s true, Cam.”

“It must be if you think I’m attractive.”

“No,” Dorian huffed in frustration, “it’s true that I think you’re attractive. My eyes are _fine_.”

“Questionable tastes.”

“Camris,” Dorian rolled, turning to face him, suddenly the filled with an urgency to have Camris understand, “I’ve always thought you were lovely, wine or not. I almost forgot my name when I saw you come from the gates of Haven.”

“Really?”

For a moment, Dorian could see every time that Camris had been someone’s second choice. The thought pained him, like a shard of ice through his heart. Dorian knew what it was like to not be picked by anyone. To be good enough to be a secret fling, but not good enough to be seen with. He could distinctly remember the feeling of reaching for the hand of one of his lovers, only to have it snatched away as they walked through Minrathos. When he had returned, that lover had left, and he had never heard from him again.

“You have my word,” Dorian cupped Camris’ cheek, “you are _radiant_ , Cam. You are warmth and strength.”

“Thank you,” Camris’ voice was sheepish, “I’m glad someone thinks so.”

 _Kiss him_ , his heart was screaming at him.

 _Don’t_ , his brain countered.

Camris studied Dorian’s face as the internal battle waged within him, “Dorian?”

“Yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Dorian let his hand fall away, “I’m sorry. Sometimes touching you is like holding a firefly, I can’t believe my luck.”

Camris smiled, laying on his back and pulling Dorian against his chest, “you’re very sweet.”

“Thank you,” it hadn’t escaped Dorian’s notice that Camris hadn’t commented on his appearance, nor had he moved to progress their physical contact. He felt a sense of melancholy wash over him, “goodnight, Cam.”

“Goodnight, Lethalin.”

***

Dorian hadn’t slept, it was almost dawn and he was still tight against Camris’ chest, listening to him breathe softly.

“I love you,” Dorian whispered into the room, just to see how it felt.

“Hm?” Camris’ hummed, pulled from sleep at Dorian’s voice, “what did you say?”

“Nothing.”

Camris opened his eyes, taking in the light coming from the cracks in the wood, “Dorian, it’s almost dawn, haven’t you slept?”

“No, I’m afraid its evaded me tonight.”

“Here, roll on your side,” Camris encouraged Dorian to face away from him, slotting up behind him and linking their fingers, “you liked sleeping like this before, right?”

“Yes,” Dorian felt a sting in his eyes and closed them against the tears threatening to give away _everything_.

“Close your eyes,” Camris whispered against this skin of Dorian’s shoulder, “and relax.”

Dorian nodded, forcing his breathing to stay even until he felt Camris fall asleep once more.

Eventually, sleep found him.

***

“Hey, Inquisitor,” Varric greeted Camris just before dinner as he caught his eye, “everything okay? You sort of look like someone shot your cat.”

Camris looked around, and when he found them alone he sighed, “I’ve done something to upset Dorian, but I don’t know what I’ve done.”

Camris knew it was serious when Varric stood, shouldering Bianca and nodding away from camp, “come on.”

“Where?”

“Where nosey ears won’t hear us,” Varric led the way toward where they were keeping their horses near the front of the camp, “what’s going on?”

“I wish I knew,” Camris groaned, “he’s keeping something from me, he won’t tell me what it is. He um…offered me a physical relationship and I told him I had to think about it. He seemed to be alright with that, but he’s been acting off. I’m wondering if I did something taboo that I don’t understand. He got out of bed this morning and took off, he’s been with my mother all day and he’s barely said more than two words to me.”

“Calm down, kid, it’s easier than all that.”

“Did he tell you what I did?”

“You didn’t _do_ anything, Cam. What Sparkler’s got going on, well, it’s not your fault.”

“Will you tell me?”

Varric groaned, “it’s not my place.”

Camris leaned heavily against a tree, sliding down to sitting, “I don’t know how to make it right.”

“Out of curiosity,” Varric sat next to him, “what Dorian offered you, was it just a physical relationship?”

“Well, I mean we’re friends. We’re going to stay friends even if we move to that.

“I mean, he never asked for a _relationship_?”

“No…” Camris thought back, “no, he hasn’t, why?”

Varric just looked at him, waiting for Camris to catch his meaning.

“Do you think he…wants a relationship with me?”

“Maybe,” Varric answered, “does he act like he does?”

“I don’t know,” Camris considered, “I don’t understand how Humans court.”

“If he _did_ want a relationship, would that maybe explain his actions over the past couple of days?”

Camris nodded slowly, “it would.”

“So…” Varric prompted.

“Dorian is upset,” Camris started slowly, “because he wants to be in a relationship with me?”

Varric smiled, “sounds like a probable conclusion to me.”

“Why would he be upset if he wants a relationship with me?”

“Let me tell you kid, and I’m speaking from experience here, there is _nothing_ worse than wanting something or someone you can’t have.”

“I’ve never said he _couldn’t_ have me, just that I was figuring it all out. I’ve never considered courting a man before.”

“That’s a big risk for Dorian to take,” Varric offered, “you’re the first true friend he’s had here, and if he asks you to do something and you don’t like it, he loses everything.”

“Why would he assume that I wouldn’t like it? He’s strong, attractive, caring,” Camris listed off, “anyone would be lucky to have him.”

“So the question is, do you want him?”

“I think so,” Camris absently touched his shoulder, “he kissed my neck last night, I don’t think I’ve ever been so…energized…by a single touch before.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I wanted to think about it until we got back to Skyhold.”

“Then think about it until we’re back to Skyhold, but I’m sure once you talk to him about it, he’ll stop acting so weird.”

“Thanks, Varric. I appreciate the help.”

“No problem,” Varric clapped him on the shoulder, “happy to be of service.”

“Do you think my mom knows?”

“I think that up until now, everyone knew but you.”

“Fuck.”

***

Dorian watched Camris walk back to camp with Varric with a sense of dread. Something Arisa picked up on right away.

“You think your Dwarf friend told him?”

“Knowing Varric? No. I think he provided him just enough evidence for Camris to figure it out himself.”

“That’s what you wanted, no? For Camris to know how you felt?”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t. I know my son. Even if he does know and he doesn’t want the same things you do, he won’t stop being your friend.”

“If you say so.”

Camris spotted Dorian from across the camp, a flush colouring his cheeks as he turned to speak to Varric.

“Oh, he certainly knows,” Dorian felt the sudden urge to run, “Maker, what am I to do now?”

“One step at a time,” Arisa wrapped her arm over his shoulder, “first, you have dinner.”

“Then?”

“You take him to the aravel and have an honest conversation.”

“And once he rejects me?”

“And once you _speak_ ,” Arisa corrected, “you figure out what you both want, and you move forward from there.”

“Right, three steps,” Dorian took a deep breath, “dinner, talk, decide.”

“Dinner, talk, decide,” Arisa confirmed.

“Maker save me, I think I might faint.”

***

Dorian had eaten dinner with Bull, who had spent most of their time together encouraging him to speak to Camris who sat beside Varric looking more and more upset by the second.

“Go,” Bull poked him hard in the side, “he’s only so upset because he thinks you’re mad at him.”

“How do I even start that conversation?”

“Hi, my name is Dorian, and I’m in love with you.”

“I think not,” Dorian sighed, standing and noticing how Camris’ immediately focused on him, “wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it.”

Dorian walked across the camp in the direction of Camris, more and more surprised with each step that his legs didn’t give out from underneath him.

“Dorian,” Camris greeted softly as he approached, “alright?

“Fine,” Dorian nodded toward the aravel, “I was just thinking of turning in for the night.”

“Would…you like me to join you?”

“Certainly,” Dorian waited for Camris to say goodnight to Varric before walking with him to the small aravel they called home.

Neither spoke as Camris opened the door, waiting for Dorian to enter before following behind him, and locking the door behind them.

“I think,” Camris started cautiously, “that I’ve done something to upset you.”

“You haven’t,” Dorian assured immediately, “I promise.”

“You’ve avoided me all day,” Camris started undressing. Dorian was confident it was just a way to avoid looking at him, an excuse that Dorian found worked just fine for him as well as he started undoing his straps.

“I just needed to work some things out,” Dorian took his time, slowly undoing each buckle before slipping the pieces from his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Camris said suddenly, “for whatever it is that I’ve done.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Dorian almost swore when he realized he only had his pants left to remove, “I’m not upset with you.”

“I missed you today.”

That stopped Dorian short, pausing with one leg out of his pants, “what was that?”

“I missed you today,” Camris repeated, sitting on their bed and waiting for Dorian.

“I missed you, too,” Dorian moved to the bed, flinching as Camris tensed.

“Varric said…well…Varric hinted…”

“Yes?”

“That you’re upset because you want me, but you’re scared you can’t have me.”

“Something like that,” Dorian picked at a loose thread on the blanket.

“Did you want a relationship with me? I thought you were only offering something physical?”

“I couldn’t let myself hope that you would ever want me back,” Dorian shrugged one shoulder, “I would be willing to take whatever you offer me.”

“Wouldn’t that have hurt, though?” Camris asked, “to only have me physically?”

“It would have killed me,” Dorian answered honestly before risking a glance up at Camris, “but what a way to go.”

“I can still feel your lips like a brand on my neck,” Camris held his gaze, “you’re all I’ve thought about all day. Dorian, I don’t know if I’m interested in men, I’ve never considered it, and I don’t want to let you down.”

“When I kissed you last night, did you like it?”

“Yes,” Camris whispered, “I liked it.”

It was something. Dorian licked his lips against the dryness in his mouth.

“Will you give me some time to think about it?” Camris ran his hand through his hair in a rare sign of frustration, “until Skyhold?”

“Of course. I would never ask you to do something that you’re not comfortable with.”

“I have no idea how I’m supposed to figure out if I’m comfortable with it or not. I’ve never considered it, but it certainly doesn’t seem…off-putting.”

Dorian let out a self-deprecating laugh, “I’m glad I’m not off-putting.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Camris groaned, moving closer to Dorian, “Dorian, you’re lovely. You’re kind and passionate, and you’re gorgeous. You look like someone out of an art book, like a drawing of some regal King.”

“You think I’m gorgeous?”

Camris stopped mid-tirade and gawked at him, “that’s what you took from what I just said?”

Dorian smirked, the tension in the room broken as he heard Camris repeating his statement from the night before, “isn’t that my line?”

“You jerk,” Camris shoved Dorian, pushing him back against the bed, “is this the treatment I get when I’m trying to save our friendship?”

“Apparently so, Inquisitor.”

“Smartass,” Camris dropped back against the bed.

“If you care to investigate, my darling Cam, you’ll find I have an _amazing_ ass.”

“Is that an invitation?”

Dorian’s cock twitched, and for a moment he wondered how well Camris could see in the dark, “if you need an invitation, you can consider it one.”

Camris smiled, “does it have a specific date, this invitation?”

“Open for whenever you want,” Dorian covered them with the blanket, “and whenever you’re ready.”

“Last night, after you kissed my neck, were you considering kissing me? After?”

“I…yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared. I thought you might push me away, and I would fracture our friendship.”

“I think it would have helped me understand,” Camris took Dorian’s hand, squeezing gently before trailing his fingers over the delicate bone of Dorian’s wrist.

The calluses on Camris’ thumb from years of archery brought Dorian’s skin up in goosebumps as Camris continued his exploration up the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrist, up his forearm to his elbow.

“Cam?”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, I’m just asking.”

“I’m not sure yet.”

Camris was mapping the muscles of Dorian’s bicep now, and Dorian could only just make out the pleased look on his face as he moved up to Dorian’s neck.

“Would you like to see what you’re doing?”

“I can see in the dark,” Camris’ stopped his exploration for a moment, his fingers hovering over the pulse in Dorian’s neck. His heartbeat fluttering like a bird trying to escape its cage, “if you would like to see, by all means. Though I would avoid fire.”

Dorian concentrated for a moment, and eventually, probably longer than necessary, a small ball of light appeared in his hand, which he left suspended in the air by the door of the aravel. It wasn’t much light, not really, but it was enough that Dorian could make out the flush of Camris’ cheeks as he moved his attention to Dorian’s jaw.

“Cam.”

“Yes?” Camris kept his eyes on his thumb as it brushed across Dorian’s bottom lip.

“Please.”

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know,” Dorian shifted, his body felt too hot.

Camris’ hand moved back to his neck, and for a moment, Dorian felt such an immense sense of loss that it almost took his breath away.

Then Camris was kissing him.

And it was _perfect_.

Dorian didn’t try to conceal his reaction, moaning as Camris held him in place with a firm grip on the back of his neck.

It never progressed past the movement of their lips, and Dorian fought the urge to deepen it. It was when Dorian rocked his hips forward, mostly on instinct, and his cock, hard and twitching with interest, brushed against Camris, who was equally hard, did Camris pull back with a gasp.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian rushed to say, pulling himself away.

“No,” Camris reached for him, “it’s fine, you just surprised me is all.”

“I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

“Honestly, Dorian, it’s fine.”

“So,” Dorian couldn’t keep his eyes off Camris’ swollen lips, “thoughts?”

“I’m not ready to do more, but that…was amazing.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Please do.”

***

They had eventually fallen asleep, much to the surprise of Dorian. It was a good sleep, like when you knew it was your birthday the next day, and it was full of the promise of good things to come, even if you didn’t exactly know what those good things might be.

It was the screams the woke Dorian up, followed by Bull’s roar of “Boss, we’ve got a rift out here.”

Dorian didn’t remember pulling his pants on, but he and Camris had burst from the aravel to find the middle of the Dalish encampment filled with demons.

Dorian hadn’t been worried about it, per se. They had a larger team than they usually travelled with, and sort of ensuring that a barrier stayed up on Camris and Cassandra who hadn’t had the time to put on their usual armor, the fight seemed to be going well.

That was until Varric called out, “Sparkler, duck!”

He had been so focused on keeping the party safe, the Terror had snuck up behind him. Dorian wasn’t sure where Camris had come from, but suddenly he had been pushed out of the way and the long taloned attack that had been destined for him had cut across Camris’ stomach instead.

“Cam!”

Dorian wasn’t sure who had screamed it if it had come from Arisa or his own mouth, but as Camris’ blood covered the grass at his feet, Dorian panicked.

“Dorian, _duck_.”

Dorian pulled Camris down to the ground just as he heard Bianca fire, the Terror screaming and vanishing in a line of green sparks.

“Boss,” Bull rushed over to them, reaching for Camris.

“He’s hurt,” Dorian protested, holding Camris close.

“If he doesn’t close the rift they’ll come back,” Bull put a hand on Dorian’s shoulder, squeezing firmly, “let me take him to the rift, and then we take him to his brother for healing.”

“It’s okay,” Camris wheezed, “help me up.”

Bull helped Camris to the rift, half walking half carrying him. Camris only just managed to raise his hand and close the rift before he collapsed in the Bull’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it isn't done. I'm just a slut for a cliffhanger.


	6. Chapter 6

“Move!” Bull’s voice boomed through the camp as he carried Camris, toward the Keeper.

“Bull,” Dorian had to jog to keep up with him, “hurry.”

“If I run any faster, he’ll bleed out.”

“Set him down,” the Keeper spread a blanket on the ground, “any chances of more to come?”

“He’s closed the rift,” Dorian dropped to his knees next to Camris, “help him.”

The Keeper nodded, placing both of his hands over Camris’ stomach, immediately covered in blood as his hands glowed with magic, “you have magic, Dorian, can you help?”

“My magic is more geared toward bringing people back to life, temporarily, after they have already passed. Let us hope that it’s not needed,” Dorian took Camris’ hand and felt a sense of panic as there was no movement in the fingers.

“Arlan, Cyrel,” the Keeper called out, “I need help, quickly.”

“I’m sorry,” Cyrel placed a hand on Dorian’s shoulder, “I need to be able to reach him.”

Dorian moved back, only just managing to catch Arisa as she rushed Camris, pulling her into his arms.

“Save him!” Arisa’s voice carried, bouncing off of the trees.

“Let them work,” Bull steered them both away, “watching over their shoulders will only make them nervous. Cam is in good hands.”

“Please tell me you told him,” Arisa turned to Dorian, “please say he knows, that you had the chance before this happened.”

“We spoke,” Dorian assured her, “somewhat.”

There was a groan from Camris, and Arisa’s hand tightened on Dorian’s arm, “ _creators,_ let him be okay.”

“Elfroot,” the Keeper called over his shoulder, and one of the hunters ran to the edge of the clearing, grabbing a handful of leaves before rushing back over.

“We’ll need bandages, Cyrel,” Arlan pushed Cyrel toward one of the aravels, “we won’t be able to heal this all in one go, we’ll have to tend to him tomorrow once he’s had a few hours to recover.”

As Cyrel walked to the aravel, Dorian noticed that the crowd parted around him, and for the first time, Dorian noticed that the clan had gathered around them. Almost forming a human shield, they watched over the Keeper as he worked on healing Camris.

Suddenly, almost too suddenly, the Keeper stopped.

“Is he okay?”

“Very hurt,” the Keeper started spreading the elfroot over Camris’ stomach, taking the bandages from Cyrel as he returned, “help me sit him up, we’ll need to bandage him tightly.”

Camris let out a shout, and Dorian could see his hand grip Arlan’s shoulder tightly.

“Easy, brother,” Arlan stroked his hair, both to reassure him and move it out of the Keeper’s way, “we’ve got you.”

***

“Stop fighting me and let me help you,” Dorian struggled to help Camris back into the aravel.

“I can walk, Dorian.”

“You almost died less than an hour ago, it was only the power of three mages that stopped that. Stop being stubborn, Amatus, and let me take care of you.”

“Fine,” Camris relaxed against Dorian, which made it much easier for him to both hold the door open and help Camris inside.

“There we are,” Dorian helped Camris back against the mattress, rolling up one of the blankets and placing it under Camris’ head.

“I need to get out of these pants, they’re covered in blood,” Camris tried to reach for the ties of his pants.

“Stop,” Dorian held his hands gently, “let me.”

“Already undressing me, Altus Pavus?”

Dorian studied Camris’ face, splatters of blood up one side, and in his hair, his jaw clenched tightly in pain. The jokes were just a coping mechanism, Dorian knew, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream or cry.

“Please,” Dorian tried for pleading instead, “let me help.”

Camris nodded, moving his hands away and letting Dorian undress him.

The leather was blood-soaked and clung to Camris’ legs as Dorian rolled them down and off, setting them just outside the door to deal with once Camris was asleep.

“I couldn’t let them hit you,” Camris spoke as Dorian took a cloth, wetting it and wiping the blood from his face, “I saw it, and I knew you were so focused on us that you hadn’t noticed it appear behind you. I can be quick when I need to be, so I got between you.”

“I wish you hadn’t. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you had died for me, and now you’re injured”

“I couldn’t let you get hurt.”

“I’m the expendable one, Inquisitor.”

“No,” Camris caught Dorian’s hand, “no you’re not expendable, Dorian. Not to me. We’ve only just found this…whatever it is…I need you alive to guide me through it.”

“You saved me,” Dorian tried to consider his words, “because of our new…relationship?”

“I saved you because it was the right thing to do and because even if our new relationship doesn’t end up being a romantic relationship, I know you will be my friend for my entire life. I won’t lose you now. I’ve only just found someone who understands me.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Dorian brushed Camris’ hair from his face, “you relax, sleep, and we can discuss this when you’re feeling better.”

***

Arisa had knocked on the door a few hours later, peeking her head into the aravel and finding Camris asleep and Dorian using magic to pull the blood from his leathers.

“How is he?”

“Sleeping off the healing potions. Come in.”

“My poor boy,” Arisa sat beside Camris, checking his forehead for a fever, “I hope he’s alright.”

“I don’t know much healing magic, but I’ve been keeping him as comfortable as I can. He’ll likely sleep for most of the day.”

“Are you going to stay with him?”

“Of course I am.”

“I hope he loves you,” Arisa took Camris’ hand, careful not to wake him, “I hope he loves you with everything that he has, and you can save him from all of this. He’s grown to be a brave man, and a good leader, but I know he’s always wanted a nice quiet life with someone he cares about. For both of your sakes, I hope that person is you.”

Dorian was touched by the sentiment, “thank you. I hope he does too.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Camris mumbled under his breath, “I’m hurt.”

“Shhh, Da’len. All you’re supposed to do is sleep.”

“Is Dorian still here?”

“Of course he is, he’s tending to your pants.”

“Oh,” Camris smiled, eyes still closed, “I don’t know why. He hates those pants.”

“I do,” Dorian agreed, “but they’re your favorite.”

“You’re my favorite.”

***

Dorian watched over him for the rest of the day, only waking him to drink on occasion. As night fell, Dorian cautiously undressed, laying as far from Camris as possible to avoid accidentally knocking into his injuries.

Sleep didn’t come easily.

It had only been a few hours when Dorian woke to the sound of a pained gasp from Camris, immediately casting a light spell.

“Cam?”

“Why are you all the way over there?” Camris was panting in pain, trying, and failing, to move closer to Dorian.

“Because you’re hurt, and I didn’t want to hit you by accident. Stop moving, you’ll make yourself bleed again,” Dorian moved over, easing Camris back against the bed, “if you wanted me closer, you need only ask.”

“I want you closer.”

Dorian rolled onto his side next to Camris, “there, I’m closer, anything else?”

“Kiss me.”

“What? You’re hurt.”

“It’s what people do when they’re exploring a relationship, right? Kiss each other goodnight?”

“Well yes, but not after they’ve been gored by a demon.”

“Well I guess I’m different then,” Camris turned his face toward Dorian, “please?”

It was a kiss by name only, the shortest brush of their lips, but Camris’ smile had been worth it.

“Go to sleep, Amatus.”

“Goodnight, Dorian.”

***

“The man of the hour,” Varric announced as Camris carefully walked from the aravel the following morning, an exhausted Dorian behind him, “how are you feeling?”

“Strangest thing,” Camris walked over to where Varric was sitting, carefully joining him on the bench, “it’s like a demon tried to rip my soul out.”

“Sure looked like it,” Bull stood, “I’ll let the Keeper know you’re up. They want to do more healing this morning.”

“Thanks, Bull.”

“Tea?” Dorian offered, “food?”

“Tea would be wonderful, thank you.”

“I’ll find Arisa while I’m up.”

“I think I’m about to be fretted over,” Camris winced as he tried to breathe.

“Judging by the colour of those bandages, it’s probably for good reason. That was some brave stuff yesterday, Inquisitor.”

“You travelled with Hawke, and watching me get gored by a demon was brave?”

“Of course it was,” Varric pulled out a pipe and lit it, holding it between clenched teeth as he spoke out the side of his mouth until the tobacco took, “there was no recognition for you in saving Dorian yesterday. You weren’t a Warden stopping the blight, you weren’t Hawke, stopping…well…Kirkwall. You were just a man doing the right thing and saving a friend. Pretty brave if you ask me.”

“I feel awful for worrying everyone.”

“There’s a chance we’re going to lose at least one of us in this whole mess. We all know it, Cam. We just don’t like it. You did bleed a lot yesterday though. I was sort of glad to see that my action scenes in my books weren’t totally exaggerated.”

“Da’len, you’re awake,” Arisa looked relieved, “how are you feeling?”

“Been better, but I’m alive.”

“Thanks to your brothers and the Keeper,” Arisa grimaced as she took in the colour of the bandages, “looks like you bled overnight.”

“It feels like the cuts are still there, I think they just healed the deep stuff.”

“And now we’ll heal the rest,” the Keeper followed Bull to Camris, kneeling beside him, “it won’t take long, and you’ll feel better for it.”

“Do you need our help?” Arlan spoke as he approached with Cyrel and Dorian.

“You can do it, Arlan,” the Keeper gestured for him to sit on Camris’ other side, “it will serve you well when you’re Keeper to know healing magic.”

Dorian watched as they worked, fiercely wishing that his studies had included healing magic. He had asked his father about it, once, and had been told that healing magic was for _other_ families. Their family had a deep history within necromancy for generations, and that wasn’t going to change. It was creation magic of its own, his father had explained. Lots of mages could cure wounds, but to bring someone back from the dead? That altered the very fabric of time.

It was hardly surprising, really, that his training with Alexius had taken the turn it had.

“When you’re treating a wound this big,” the Keeper was explaining, “it’s better to heal over a few days. When a body is already stressed, especially a body which does not carry magic, you can put someone into shock if you do too much. The elfroot is good because it helps stop the infection while the cuts remain open. Once you have his wounds closed, we will remove the bandaging. He’s going to feel awful for a few days, sorry Camris, but other than some scaring he should be fine.”

“Do you remember the first time I healed you?”

Camris rolled his eyes and waved at his face, “hard to forget. A day rarely goes by that I don’t have a reminder.”

“It’s not bad, considering I had little experience at the time.”

“Dorian doesn’t seem to mind it, and he is a man of specific tastes.”

“Let us hope that your Lethalin doesn’t mind a few more then.”

“I won’t,” Dorian realized he had been so swept up in watching the healing that he was still holding the cup of tea, “did you still want some tea?”

“Please,” Camris accepted the cup gratefully, careful not to spill on his brother as he worked, “Bull, Varric, can you take look around and see if you can find any more of those artifacts? If Dorian can activate it, it will stop any more rifts in the area.”

“You got it,” Varric shouldered Bianca, “should Dorian come with? Then if we find it he can just wave his magic fingers and get it started?”

“Sure, the sooner it’s active the better. Dorian might be able to feel them too, Solas can.”

“You’re certain? I can stay.”

“They’ll be working on me for a while yet, Lethalin. Go with Varric and Bull. You may want to take Cassandra, too, and I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Alright,” Dorian signed, “on your order, Inquisitor.”

***

Camris wasn’t there when they had arrived back at camp, successful in finding one of the artifacts in a nearby cave.

“He went down to the river with Cyrel to wash up,” Arisa called to Dorian as he looked around the camp, “they took the bandages off and there was still a lot of dried blood on him. He wanted to get cleaned up before you returned.”

“How was the healing?”

“As good as could be expected, considering. It left a nasty scar, but he’s more worried about your reaction to it than anything else.”

“If the scar on his face doesn’t bother me, a few more won’t.”

“Yes, I said as much,” Arisa pointed to a path, “if you follow that for about five minutes, you’ll find him.”

“You said he was bathing…”

“The Elvhen have bathed together for years. He won’t be bothered if you join them.”

Dorian gave a nod of thanks before starting along the trail, true to Arisa’s directions, Dorian could hear the sound of running water within a few minutes.

“So, the Tevinter?” Cyrel’s voice carried over the water and Dorian froze in place, just out of view.

“We’re trying it.”

“You sound unsure.”

“I’ve never considered courting a man before, I’m worried I might hurt him, or do something wrong.”

“Love is love,” Cyrel sounded amused, “what does it matter who shares it? Your Dwarf friend has a strange sort of love for his crossbow, but it seems to work for him. This will just be something new physically, the core emotion will be the same.”

“I suppose you’re right. It’s just…this would be the first time that Dorian has been able to be in a relationship in public. They don’t accept it in Tevinter.”

“And?”

“I don’t want to disappoint him,” Camris sighed, “it’s hard enough that I’ve never courted a man before, I’ve also never courted a human. I don’t want his first chance at love being…well…a mistake.”

“You should have more confidence, Cam. He’s clearly crazy about you.”

“You think?”

“It’s all the Clan has been speaking about since you arrived, not to mention Cassandra and the others you brought with you. It’s a wonder that your keen hunters’ eyes didn’t notice.”

“I guess I never assumed someone like him would even notice someone like me.”

Dorian decided to continue toward the water, deliberately stepping on a branch to alert them to his arrival.

“There you are, Amatus, you told me that you would be at camp.”

Camris was dressed, but his hair still wet and in the process of being dried by Cyrel, “I’m sorry, I was covered in blood and old elfroot. I needed to get clean.”

“It’s alright, I was just concerned.”

“We took good care of him, not to worry,” Cyrel helped Camris to his feet, “you should likely rest today. Let the other hunters to the work.”

“Alright,” Camris crossed the river to Dorian, immediately taking the hand Dorian offered him, “thank you for taking care of me, Cyrel.”

“Isn’t that what brothers are for?”

***

Camris was quiet and tense as he undressed for bed, something Dorian picked up on immediately.

“Are you alright?”

“Sore, but fine,” Camris kept his back to Dorian as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“You seem off,” Dorian hesitated before he took off his shirt, “should I sleep elsewhere?”

“No, of course not,” Camris sighed, “I suppose you’ll see it eventually.”

As Camris moved to the bed, stretching out against the blanket, Dorian could see what had Camris had been concerned about.

The wound, even though it was now healed, was a series of bright red lines across Camris’ stomach and one of his arms. They were wide, and deep, obstructing what had been clear lines of muscle before.

Dorian rushed to undress and move next to Camris, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “there is nothing that could happen to you that would make you less beautiful to me, Amatus.”

“You haven’t seen them in the light.”

“May I?”

“You might as well, get the worst of it over at once.”

Dorian kept the light spell low, just bright enough that he could make out the colour of the scars as they crossed Camris’ skin.

“Do they hurt?”

“Tight, and like a bruise, but nothing compared to last night.”

“May I,” Dorian swallowed heavily, “touch them?”

“If you’re gentle, they’re still quite sore.”

Dorian kept his touch as light as he could, starting at Camris’ chest and slowly moving down his stomach, watching his fingers as they traced over each new red line. They were sunken in, slightly, and warmer than the skin around them, but they had been remarkably well healed.

Dorian must have gotten lost the feeling of Camris’ skin, because after a few moments had passed, Camris’ cleared his throat.

“You’re still just as beautiful as I’ve always thought,” Dorian let his hand rest completely over Camris’ stomach, “the scars do nothing to change that.”

Camris’ entire body seemed to relax, and Dorian could feel a deep breath of relief under his hand on Camris’ stomach.

“Really?”

“Really,” Dorian pressed a kiss to Camris’ forehead.

Camris rolled on his side facing Dorian, studying his face, “can I ask you a question?”

“Certainly.”

“It’s a very serious question.”

“Alright,” Dorian looked at Camris’ quizzically, “what is it?”

“How do you get your moustache to do that?”

Dorian laughed, “wax, patience, if you grow one I’ll show you.”

“Alas, my dear Lethalin, if you like body hair in any shape or description I’m not the partner for you. The Elvhen don’t grow body hair.”

“At all?”

“No,” Camris reached for Dorian’s jaw, cupping it gently and running his fingers over the stubble he found there, “I’m afraid not.”

Dorian felt his heart speed up, “if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to kiss you.”

He didn’t need too, as soon as the words slipped from his mouth Camris was on him. Dorian couldn’t help but smile against Camris’s lips, his enthusiasm more than endearing.

When Dorian felt Camris’ tongue touch his bottom lip he opened to him immediately, a jolt of pleasure rocketing through his body as their tongues met for the first time. Dorian tangled his fingers in Camris’ hair, desperate to keep him close.

Camris seemed to have the same idea because he only pulled back for breath for a moment before he took Dorian’s bottom lip into his mouth and bit gently.

Dorian was lost in it, the sensation of kissing someone that he had coveted for so long was almost hypnotic. He tried desperately to keep things at a pace that he thought Camris was comfortable with, making the conscious effort to stop his hips from pressing forward, even with his cock begging for friction.

Then Camris moaned.

It was almost musical to Dorian’s ears, and it came from deep in Camris’ chest. The sort of moan that spoke to a desperate sort of longing, one that Dorian understood well. It made him want to cling to Camris, rolling him on his back and make love to him until he could only remember Dorian’s name.

Dorian hadn’t noticed that he had moved closer until their cocks brushed together, separated by the thin layer of fabric of their smalls, it still shocked both of them.

Dorian tried to pull back and was stopped by a firm grip on his hip.

“Cam?”

“Why do you pull away from me?” Camris rolled Dorian onto his back and straddled him, “do you want me to stop?”

“I want you to be comfortable,” Dorian was having a hard time concentrating, and his light spell flickered as Camris shifted in his lap, “I don’t want to make you feel as if you need to do something you don’t just because we’ve spoken about having a relationship.”

“Does it feel like I’m uncomfortable?” Camris rocked his hips and it was beautiful to watch, an elegant, coordinated roll of his body as he pressed their cocks together.

“No,” Dorian whined, “but you shouldn’t feel as if this is required.”

“Dorian,” Camris leaned forward, kissing him softly, “if you want me to stop, I’ll stop, but you aren’t pressuring me into anything that I’m not interested in trying.”

Dorian took a deep breath, “I’m at your mercy.”

It was ridiculous, really, how amazing it felt. Dorian had fancied himself far past the _cum while grinding clothed_ stage of his sexual exploration, but Camris, beautiful Camris, had him struggling to stay composed within minutes.

Camris seemed content to latch onto Dorian’s neck, sucking what Dorian assumed to be deep purple bruises across his neck and shoulder. Dorian could feel the wet patch forming against the front of his smalls, his cock twitching up each time Camris rocked.

Dorian fiercely wished the were undressed, the surprisingly heavy and thick line of Camris’ cock bringing all sorts of images to his mind.

“Cam,” Dorian groaned as Camris’ bit yet another bruise into his neck, “I won’t be able to cover those.”

“Why should you?” Camris whispered into Dorian’s ear, the brush of his breath on Dorian’s skin bringing him up in goosebumps, “don’t you want them to know?”

“I’m not opposed- ah _fuck_ ,” Dorian swore as Camris moved, a better press of their cocks together.

“That’s right,” Camris was biting his ear lobe now, and Dorian could tell he was fighting a losing battle as his composure slipped, “you’re going to spend for me, and tomorrow you’re going to walk out of this aravel covered in my marks. Everyone in camp will know you’re mine.”

Dorian whimpered, and Camris gripped one of his legs, moving to kneel between Dorian’s legs and wrapping them around his hips. There was no kissing now, just a look of determination across Camris’ face as he listened and adjusted to each moan and whimper he pulled from Dorian.

It was hardly surprising that Dorian fell over the edge with a shout moments later, trembling through the force of his orgasm as Camris slowed, but continued to rock until he pulled every ounce of pleasure from Dorian’s body.

“ _Fasta vass,_ ” Dorian breathed, “it’s astonishing that you made that so good.”

“I’m glad,” Camris moved, rolling onto his back with a pained groan.

“Did you…?”

“No,” Camris waved to his stomach, “just too much pain to get there.”

“Did you want me to help?”

“I need a moment,” Camris turned to look at Dorian, “why don’t you clean up and we’ll see how I feel?”

“Alright,” Dorian moved to his bag, slipping off his smalls and using them to wipe any evidence of their tryst from his skin. Grabbing a clean pair, he put them on and moved back toward Camris who was watching him with interest, “what?”

“You have hair everywhere.”

“Indeed I do,” Dorian gestured to his thighs, “Humans tend to be only outmatched by Dwarfs.”

“And yet, you don’t wax that hair.”

Dorian laughed, “no, Amatus, I don’t. Now, may I assist you with your current condition?”

Camris frowned, “as much as I would like to have you touching me, my stomach is very painful. I’m fairly certain I’ll be awake and aching, but I can’t imagine how we can…you know…without putting strain on my stomach.”

“Can I try? If it’s too much you need only tell me and I’ll stop.”

“Alright,” Camris agreed, “but I won’t be much help.”

“I don’t need you to help, this is one of my many skills,” Dorian reached for the waistband of Camris’ smalls, “may I?”

“I managed just fine with them on,” Camris winked, “I thought you were _very skilled_.”

“I am, but I’m also desperate to see you nude.”

“Go ahead.”

It took both of them working together to get his smalls from his body, the tenderness in his stomach making it difficult, but once Camris was fully nude in front of him, Dorian could do nothing but stare.

He was _beautiful_.

“Dorian,” Camris nudged Dorian’s leg with his own, “you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian stretched out along Camris’ side, settling his hand on Camris’ thigh, “you’re beautiful, it’s distracting.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

Dorian didn’t tease, taking Camris’ cock in hand and stroking him at a steady pace. His cock was perfect, thick, and slightly curved. Camris had been hard for so long Dorian could feel his heartbeat as he teased the flushed head with his thumb, Camris letting out a low moan in the process.

“That is a delicious sound,” Dorian glanced at Camris’ face and found him watching Dorian’s hand with interest, “does it feel alright?”

Camris nodded, “different, but not bad.”

Dorian catalogued that statement away to ask about later, instead focusing on drawing more of those delightful moans from Camris.

He was responsive, twitching, moaning, and gasping as Dorian worked on figuring out what worked best for him. It seemed to be going well, but as a sweat broke out across Camris’ forehead, Dorian started to get concerned.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“ _No_ ,” Camris grabbed Dorian’s arm as if he was frightened he would pull away, “I’m close, the pain is just distracting.”

“What can I do?”

Camris blushed a brilliant shade of pink before whispering an answer that Dorian couldn’t quite make out.

“What was that?”

“My ears,” Camris said again, slightly louder.

“My pleasure.”

Dorian started slowly, kissing along the pointed tip of Camris’ ear before moving down to his ear lobe, taking in his mouth and biting gently. Camris whimpered, his grip on Dorian’s arm tightening almost painfully.

“Amatus,” Dorian whispered in Camris’ ear, “darling you need to let my arm go so I can take care of you.”

Camris let go as if he was burned, reaching for Dorian’s hip instead to ground himself.

“Come on,” Dorian kept his voice low and his lips close enough the vibrations travelled over his ear, “I want to see that careful resolve slip. I want to see you spill all over that beautiful stomach of yours.”

“I’m trying,” Camris whimpered, “ _Creators_ , Dorian, please.”

Dorian took the tip of Camris’ ear into his mouth, sucking hard.

It was all it took, and Camris fell over the edge with a shout, covering his chest and stomach as he turned his head to bury his face against Dorian’s neck.

“You’re so beautiful, Amatus,” Dorian spoke softly as he stroked him through it, “look at you.”

Camris squeezed Dorian’s hip as he became too sensitive, and Dorian carefully let him go, kissing his forehead before reaching for a cloth to clean him with. Camris winced as Dorian reached for his stomach, but held still until he was dry.

“How’s the pain?”

“On a scale of one to ten? About a seven.”

“I can…” Dorian faltered, “I’m not very good at healing magic, but maybe I can take the edge off?”

“You’re welcome to try.”

Dorian cautiously placed his hand over Camris’ scars, thinking back to the little bit of healing he had managed to learn from the Skyhold library. Urging the magic forward into his hands, Camris let out a sigh of relief as the pain eased slightly.

“Is that any better? What’s the number now?”

“A four, maybe, but it’s manageable. Thank you, Lethalin.”

“You’re welcome, Amatus.”

“What does that mean? You’ve been calling me that for a few days.”

“It’s a closely guarded Tevinter secret.”

Camris studied Dorian’s face, and in a moment of panic, Dorian extinguished the light spell.

“I can see in the dark, Dorian. Most Elvhen can.”

Dorian retrieved the blanket from the end of the bedroll, bringing it up to cover both of them and stretching out beside Camris, facing the wall.

Camris sighed and curled up around Dorian’s back, whispering in his ear, “you can tell me.”

“Not yet,” Dorian whispered back, “it’s too soon.”

Camris sighed again but didn’t argue. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed Dorian’s cheek before closing his eyes and settling in for sleep.

“So, how was your first experience with a man, then?”

Camris smiled against the back of Dorian’s neck, “what, did you want another scale rating?”

“Why not?”

“From one to ten?”

“Seems appropriate.”

“Eleven.”


	7. Chapter 7

Dorian woke tangled in Camris’ arms, perfectly contented. Camris was still asleep, beautifully nude, snoring lightly. Dorian brushed some of Camris’ hair from his face, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Amatus, are you planning on sleeping the day away?”

“Yes,” Camris’ mumbled, hiding his face against Dorian’s neck, “I still hurt.”

“Would you like me to do more of what I did last night?”

“Stroking my cock or healing?”

“Either option is open to you,” Dorian chuckled, “whichever you prefer.”

“I wouldn’t say no to some healing,” Camris didn’t make any move to pull away from Dorian, “but I’m very comfortable.”

Dorian managed to weave his hand between their bodies, pressing it to Camris’ stomach and feeding what little healing magic he knew into the skin.

Camris smiled, letting out a low contented moan as the pain in his stomach eased, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dorian thought to the night before, “you said that last night was different, different how?”

“You have a weird callus on your palm,” Camris smirked, “which feels different to when I do it myself.”

Dorian laughed, “it’s from my staff.”

“You shouldn’t stroke your staff _that_ hard, Dorian. I’ve been doing it for years and I don’t have a callus.”

“Very funny, Amatus. I meant my wooden staff.”

“I know you did,” Camris stretched, pushing Dorian onto his back and leaned over him, “it was good, but not something I expected to happen so quickly. Aside from the fact that I was still hurt, I wasn’t sure how comfortable I would be with it.”

“And?”

“It was easy,” Camris kissed the bridge of Dorian’s nose, “and fun.”

“So you think you’ll keep me?”

“Yes, I think so.”

***

Varric, Cassandra, and Bull looked relieved to see Camris up and around the camp that morning, standing as they walked over to join them for breakfast.

“Hey, Boss, how are you feeling?”

“Dorian has been taking good care of me, I’m on the mend,” Camris sat on the ground next to Cassandra, “my brother isn’t with you?”

“He’s…” Cassandra flushed, “not yet awake.”

“No?” Camris pat her on the back, “I’m happy for you both. I hope his snoring didn’t make it too hard for you to sleep.”

“I’ll admit, it is impressive the volume he can achieve.”

“I used to sleep on the roof of the aravel to avoid it. He’ll be up soon, he’s helping Arlan tattoo me today.”

“Another tattoo?” Dorian asked as he sat beside Camris, “more on your face?”

“No, those are done when we come of age, and then they usually aren’t added to. The Keeper was looking at the mark on my hand and he wants to tattoo some wards up my arm to try and stop it from spreading any further.”

“I didn’t know it _was_ spreading.”

“When the Inquisitor fell out of the fade Solas worked all day to stop its spread. He said it was going to consume him. Camris was in some sort of coma at the time.”

“And then Cassandra chained me up.”

“Which she is known to do to attractive men,” Varric joked, dodging a swat from Cassandra.

“Should I be worried?” Cyrel’s voice came from behind Cassandra.

“No, he said _attractive_.”

There was a yelp, followed by a chorus of laughter as a large magic snowball caught Camris in the back of the neck.

***

“And you’re sure this is safe?” Dorian regarded the tattoo equipment cautiously.

“The Elvhen have been getting tattooed since before the Humans took our lands,” the Keeper glanced up at Dorian, pausing his preparation, “no one in our Clan has died yet.”

“I apologise, I didn’t mean any offense.”

“None taken,” the Keeper set the small bowls of pigment in a line, the tools just below them, “you should know, when the Elvhen take their vallaslin they are not allowed to speak. While Camris already has his vallaslin, the teachings are deeply ingrained, so don’t be surprised if he doesn’t speak during the process. In fact, the entire camp will likely be silent.”

“I’ll let the others know,” Dorian chewed his bottom lip, “will it take long?”

“It’s not a fast process, a few hours at least.”

Dorian nodded, “I’ll leave you to finish your preparation.”

Camris was with the others, drinking tea with his brothers who looked nervous.

“Everyone is very tense.”

“There haven’t been many chances to practice the art of the vallaslin,” Cyrel explained, “the fact that Camris is allowing us to tattoo him is a big honor, but also a big responsibility. If we don’t do it properly, the wards aren’t done properly, they won’t protect Camris.”

“You’ll both be fine,” Camris waved off their concern.

“The Keeper told me you have to be silent throughout?”

“I probably don’t _need_ to be, but it’s a good practice in restraint.”

“When are you starting?”

“Whenever the Keeper calls for me.”

***

Dorian and Camris enjoyed a quiet lunch together, Dorian’s nerves growing by the minute.

“You aren’t the one getting tattooed, why are you so nervous?”

“I don’t like to see you hurt,” Dorian shrugged, “I read in our library that vallaslin translates to blood writing, which sounds…dangerous.”

“I’m going to be stabbed by multiple sharp things, I’m likely to bleed. Arlan and Cyrel will heal me when they’re done.”

“You’re not scared at all are you?”

“Of many things, Lethalin, but not this.”

“Camris?” the Keeper called to them, “it’s time.”

“Come on,” Camris pat Dorian on the shoulder, “you can sit nearby, even if I’m not speaking with you.”

Dorian followed Camris over to the base of a large tree, Arlan and Cyrel waiting for them. Camris pulled his shirt over his head, setting it aside before sitting between his brothers.

“Take a minute to prepare,” the Keeper spoke softly, “and when you’re ready, we’ll begin.”

Varric, Bull, and Cassandra joined Dorian, sitting in a line in front of Camris.

Arisa walked over, taking a moment to braid Camris’ hair in a loose braid down his back before kissing his forehead, “be strong.”

“I always am,” Camris glanced at Dorian, “I’ll speak with you soon, Lethalin.”

“I’m here if you need me.”

Camris smiled, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. A few minutes passed, Arlan and Cyrel waiting patiently. Dorian noticed absently that the camp had fallen quiet, and glancing up he found that most of the Clan had joined them, sitting together around Camris.

Camris’ eyes opened, locking with Dorian’s. There was a small smile before he turned to the Keeper and gave a nod.

It was interesting, not at all like what Dorian had read. Arlan and Cyrel seemed to fall into a natural rhythm with each other, each starting on one of Camris’ shoulders, and working slowly together to build a pattern down his arms.

As they would approach a spot which was to be more painful than the last, Arlan or Cyrel would give Camris’ arm a gentle squeeze, there would be a pause, Camris would close his eyes, and they would continue.

It was clearly painful, Camris’ brow furrowing on occasion and a light sheen of sweat appearing across his brow, but he remained steady.

As they approached his wrist Camris started to tense, the pain was worse here. For a moment, Dorian worried that Camris might call out, but after a deep breath Camris’ eyes met his and a small smile crossed his face.

Camris spent the rest of the tattooing studying Dorian’s face. Dorian took the opportunity to do the same, taking in the scars, tattoos, and warmth of Camris’ eyes. It was strangely intimate considering they were surrounded by people. It was also a rare opportunity to just _look_ , without words to justify the curiosity.

Both Arlan and Cyrel paused for a moment, glancing at each other before catching Camris’ attention. Within another nod from Camris, they started work on the back of his hands, the final part, Dorian assumed, to the elaborate tattoo.

A sudden collective tension fell over those watching, and it occurred to Dorian that he wasn’t entirely sure the full scope of the vallaslin.

As the final few taps were heard throughout the camp, there was a subtle, but noticeable, shimmer throughout the tattoo. A blue metallic ripple starting at his hands and working its way up from his hands and slowly rolling up to his shoulders where it disappeared.

The Keeper nodded, patting Camris on the shoulder, careful of the tattoos before announcing, “it has finished, and it was successful.”

The cheer from those around them was so sudden, and so loud, that Dorian had to fight the reflexive impulse to cover himself with a shield.

“Just a minute, Cam, and you can get up,” Arlan’s hand lit with a healing spell, “your Vhenan is worried about you.”

“It’s an unusual thing to watch, I imagine,” Camris shrugged, “the Humans tattoo themselves, but not magically.”

“What does Vhenan mean?” Dorian asked as he walked over to Camris.

“Um,” Camris considered for a minute, “in common, it would likely be like _heart_ , it’s usually used within the context of _ma Vhenan_ , which would more closely translate to _my love_. I think most languages have something similar, Bull was telling me that the Qunari use _Kadan_.”

“That’s right,” Bull agreed, “and the Tevinters use _Amatus.”_

Camris managed to conceal his surprise well, but Dorian felt the flush cross his cheeks and knew that Camris had noticed, “exactly, most cultures have a word for it. Ours is Vhenan.”

“You should teach him more Elvhen,” Arlan suggested, “it would be easier if he understood.”

“Yes, but then I need to learn Tevene, and it’s far more complicated. Half the time I struggle with common.”

***

“Camris,” the Keeper called to him later, “is tonight your last night?”

“I think we’ll probably spend tonight, and tomorrow night, make our way home early the following day,” Camris answered, “I’m sure Cassandra and Cyrel would like to spend some more time together, and I’d like to be a bit more healed before I endure the ride back to Skyhold.”

“Maybe the Clan can come to your fortress,” Cyrel suggested, “visit you?”

“You’re all welcome, assuming that you don’t mind spending lots of time surrounded by Templars. That being said, if you would like to come and see Cassandra, you’re welcome any time.”

“You mean that?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“We fought terribly when we were younger, and now you’re willingly inviting me into your new home?”

“Cyrel, you were a prat when we were younger. Arlan stole every woman I considered remotely interesting. I loathed you both, but you’re both my brothers,” Camris shrugged, “time heals many wounds. I have wonderful friends at Skyhold and amazing advisors who care about me and want the Inquisition to succeed. I suppose I have bigger things to worry about.”

“That’s very kind.”

“I have one condition.”

“Which is?”

Camris pointed in Cyrel’s face before turning his attention Arlan and doing the same, “both of you keep your hands off of Dorian.”

Dorian couldn’t help but laugh, “never fear, Amatus.”

“You say that now, Lethalin.”

“I’m all yours.”

“Yes,” Arlan laughed, “so we can see. You made quite the mark, Camris.”

Dorian flushed as he remembered the bruises across this neck, flinching as Bull clapped him on the back with a booming laugh.

Camris smiled, winking at Dorian, “I’m good at what I do.”

“I’m _right here_ ,” Arisa called out from her seat nearby.

Arlan, Cyrel, and Camris had the decency to look embarrassed.

“Sorry, Mamae.”

***

“Come on,” Camris took Dorian’s hand and waved toward the aravel, “we need to talk.”

“Uh oh,” Dorian felt his heart sink, “nothing good comes of that sentence.”

“Don’t worry,” Camris held the door open for Dorian, stepping in behind him and closing the door, “I just have a question.”

“Then what you say is, _Dorian, my dear, I have a question for you,_ ” Dorian sat on the bedroll, “not, _we need to talk_.”

“Alright,” Camris sat beside Dorian, “Dorian, my dear, I have a question for you.”

“What’s your question?”

Camris sighed, “can you do a light spell, please. I’d like to see your face while we speak about this.”

“I thought you could see in the dark?”

“I can, but not colour.”

Dorian brought a small ball of light to his hand, suspending it above his head, “as you wish.”

“Amatus,” Camris noticed as Dorian flinched at the word, “are you just saying that as a term of affection, or does it mean what the Bull says it does?”

“It does translate to _my love_ ,” Dorian spoke cautiously, “it’s a commonly used term.”

“That’s not what Bull said, he told me after dinner that it’s usually saved for someone you’re in love with.”

Dorian faltered.

“Dorian,” Camris held his gaze intensely, “are you in love with me?”

Dorian swallowed heavily, “if…I am?”

“Are you?”

Dorian considered denying it, blowing off the entire idea as a practical joke from Bull, but as Camris watched him he could do nothing but tell the truth.

“I might be.”

“I see,” Camris brought his thumb to his mouth, chewing absentmindedly on his nail as he considered the information.

“This is when you leave, yes?” Dorian shifted away from Camris and toward the door, “I understand.”

“No,” Camris grabbed Dorian by the arm, “don’t be silly, Dorian, why would I leave?”

“You don’t feel the same,” Dorian kept his eyes on the door, “I’ve become too clingy. If you need a list of reasons, I can provide them.”

“Come here,” Camris tugged, hard, pulling Dorian off balance and awkwardly against Camris’ chest where he was immediately wrapped in his arms, “I’m not leaving. That is just something I wish you wouldn’t lie to me about. You’ve been saying _I love you_ for days, without ever actually telling me.”

“It’s early…”

“Is it, or have you felt this way for me for some time?”

“I fear,” Dorian swallowed, “that I’ve likely felt this way about you for some time.”

“I hope you understand that I’m not quite there yet,” Camris tilted Dorian’s chin up to look him in the eyes, “and that you’ll give me some time to catch up. When we discussed a relationship, it went from just physical, to romantic, to…this.”

“Is it unwelcome?”

“No, just surprising,” Camris smiled, and the nerves in Dorian’s chest eased, “I wasn’t sure when you said you were interested in a relationship if you meant a _during the Inquisition_ relationship or a _forever_ relationship.”

“Is forever an option for us?”

“I hope so. I think you’ll need to romance me a little first, help me catch up with your feelings.”

“So you’re staying?”

“I’m staying,” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, “let's get ready for bed?”

“Please,” Dorian let out a breath of relief, “that was awkward.”

“Was it?”

“Was it not?”

“Talking about your feelings shouldn’t be awkward,” Camris glanced at Dorian as he undressed, “you’re allowed to feel things, Dorian. You’re allowed to express those feelings.”

Dorian didn’t respond, instead finished undressing and waited for Camris on the bedroll, sitting cross-legged until Camris joined him. He had been expecting Camris to lay down beside him, instead, Camris filled Dorian’s lap, pulling him into a hug that Dorian easily returned.

“I suppose,” Dorian started as Camris held him, “that I’ve never been told that I could want someone before and have them.”

“You can want me,” Camris assured.

“And I do, Amatus, desperately.”


	8. Chapter 8

Dorian revelled in being in Camris’ arms, enjoying the way they fit together, despite the somewhat awkward position they were in. Camris’ fingers were trailing absentminded patterns over his back, and there was a low hum of contentment from him as he kissed Dorian’s cheek.

“How are your arms?”

“Fine, they healed them. It’s just like normal skin now.”

“May I see them?”

“Sure,” Camris leaned back bringing his arms where Dorian can see them, “it’s written in Elvhen, and some of the runes are lost on me, but I’m sure if you ask Cyrel he’d explain them.”

“They’re beautiful,” Dorian traced over the lines, “do you know what they say?”

“An incantation to protect me from death from the magic of the mark.”

“And why did they shimmer?”

“They’re infused with lyrium because I’m not a magic-user. If I had magic the incantation would be enough.”

“Did it hurt?”

“It did,” Camris watched as Dorian ran his fingers over his tattoos, “I had something beautiful to keep my mind off of it.”

“Oh? What was that?”

“You.”

Dorian flushed, “Is that why you were looking at me?”

“It was a pleasant distraction.”

Dorian couldn’t help but smile, “sweet words.”

“For my sweet man,” Camris kissed Dorian softly, “who loves me.”

“Who loves you,” Dorian confirmed, “very much.”

Camris kissed him again, and again until Dorian was clinging to him and struggling to keep afloat as Camris drove him to distraction.

Camris moved his attention to Dorian’s neck, tasting the purple bruises he had left the night before. Dorian moaned, tucking his face against Camris’ neck as he bit down on Dorian’s shoulder, a hand moving between them to tug at the waistband of Dorian’s smalls.

“I need these off.”

“Yours, too,” Dorian waited for Camris to move off of this lap before quickly kicking off his smalls, grinning as Camris did the same before immediately straddling Dorian’s lap again, “did you have something in mind, Amatus?”

“Mmhmm.”

Camris was kissing him again, and Dorian felt himself get swept away. For someone who reportedly had been rejected by most of his chosen partners, Camris was a remarkable kisser. It took him no time at all to figure out how to have Dorian desperate and needy and powerless to do anything but try to keep up.

Dorian was absently aware that Camris’ was reaching for his hand and offered it to him immediately. Camris squeezed his fingers, once, before bringing Dorian’s hand to his cock. Dorian gasped against Camris’ mouth as Camris reached for him, matching Dorian’s pace.

Dorian started slowly, trying to memorize the shape of Camris as he throbbed against his palm. Camris didn’t rush him, pulling back to hold his gaze and follow Dorian’s lead.

“Why do you keep staring at me?” Dorian managed to ask, despite the distraction of Camris teasing the head of his cock.

“I’ve never had someone so beautiful in my bed before,” Camris didn’t seem nearly as effected, “I like to watch you.”

“If you can still speak that clearly,” Dorian had to pause for a moment, taking a deep breath to collect himself, “I’m doing something wrong.”

Camris smirked, “do you worst.”

Dorian knew Camris was egging him on, but sped up his hand regardless, delighting as Camris moaned softly under his breath.

Dorian was torn, on one hand wanting to take things slow, enjoy the time they had together without the pressure of Skyhold around them. On the other hand, and right now the more enticing idea was to see how quickly he could have Camris spending over his chest.

Dorian could be known for his patience, all of his years of studying had taught him that, and if he knew anything it was when to take his time with something.

Right now was not that time.

It quickly became clear that they had the same idea as Camris surged forward, kissing Dorian deeply as he knocked Dorian’s hand away, lining up their cocks and taking them both in his hand, stroking them with the sort of singular focus that had Dorian struggling to hold back.

“ _Dorian_ ,” Camris moaned against his lips, “ _fuck_.”

“Amatus,” Dorian tangled his fingers in Camris’ hair, pulling his head back and biting down on his neck, trying his best to leave a mark just above where his armor would sit.

Looking back, Dorian couldn’t remember who fell over the edge first, but he was fairly certain there were only heartbeats between them as Camris called out his name and Dorian groaned into Camris’ skin.

Much like the night before, Dorian could hardly believe how intense it was, clinging to Camris as he stroked every ounce of satisfaction from their bodies.

Camris took a steadying breath, glancing over his shoulder for a cloth to clean them with.

“Don’t dirty anything, Amatus,” Dorian waved his hand, a quick cleaning spell passing over their skin, “that’s what magic is for.”

“ _That’s_ what magic is for?”

Dorian laughed, “it has many uses.”

Camris gestured at his neck, “did you leave your mark?

“Oh I’d say so,” Dorian took in the bright purple bruise, “does it bother you?”

“Not at all, you just seemed very focused.”

“I was,” Dorian made an elaborate show of dropping down on his back, leaving Camris straddling him as he stretched out on the bed, “it’s not every day that I get to have a man wear a mark I left on him.”

Camris smiled, running his hands over Dorian’s stomach and up to his chest, kissing Dorian’s cheek before laying beside him.

“Shall we get dressed?”

“We could,” Camris considered, “but then we need to get undressed again if we want to do that in the middle of the night.”

“Again?”

“We aren’t leaving tomorrow,” Camris pointed out, turning Dorian’s face toward him with a gentle hand on his jaw before kissing him, “do you see any need for sleep tonight?”

“Now that you mention it,” Dorian thought for a moment, “I can’t think of a single reason to sleep tonight.”

***

Camris woke up before Dorian, blinking to clear his eyes in the dim light that made its way through the cracks of the aravel. Glancing at Dorian, Camris couldn’t help but smile. Their activities throughout the night had left Dorian beautifully dishevelled. Bruises across his neck and chest, his moustache wilting on one side, his hair across his forehead.

They had finally fallen asleep a few hours before dawn, both joking about breaking personal records, but in the end, being too tired to continue. Dorian had curled up against Camris’ chest, and while they had only been asleep for a few hours, Dorian had yet to move.

Camris smiled as a sense of tranquility washed over him, feeling for the first time in his life, truly at home. He knew that this reasonably was not to last. Skyhold was nearby, all but demanding his return to work. Dorian likely wouldn’t be happy living in a forest, either. The difference in culture didn’t seem noticeable now, but over time, the small things would add up.

Camris knew that Dorian wanted to be home in Tevinter again, and he very much doubted there was a place for his Elvhen lover in the Magisterium. Camris wondered if he had considered it, the chance that while they were fighting for Camris’ destiny there was a space for Dorian.

Dorian’s destiny; however, was something else entirely.

The thought made Camris uneasy, and slightly sad. Dorian felt as if this was a relationship that might last, Camris wasn’t sure if he could agree.

Was it worth the risk, though?

Dorian groaned in his sleep, turning his face against Camris’ chest and kissing him softly before falling back to sleep.

 _Yes,_ Camris thought, _it might be worth it_.

***

“Why is everyone being no noisy?” Dorian groaned a few hours later, “it’s so early.”

“It’s lunchtime,” Camris laughed, “I’ve already been back out for the hunt, I just came back to see if you were awake yet or if I had truly worn you out.”

“You lie.”

“Open your eyes.”

Dorian made a noise of frustration but opened his eyes and found Camris dressed and sitting cross-legged near the bedroll, “you didn’t answer my question.”

“They’re planning something in the way of a party,” Camris smirked as Dorian rolled onto his back with a groan, “because we’re leaving tomorrow. Cyrel is coming with us, for a while, until he meets up with his Clan. This is the first time in years that all of the Lavellan brothers have been together. They know that it’s likely this will be the last time we’re together again, they want to do something for the occasion.”

“Why would it be the last time?”

“Because one of us will likely die during this war. If not Arlan and Cyrel being the magic users protecting their Clans, then me protecting everyone else. The Elvhen don’t spend much time mourning death, but they do know when to celebrate life.”

“Well,” Dorian sat up, rubbing his face, “that’s a wonderfully morbid thought to start my day with.”

“To be fair, you were grinding against me as the sun came up, so your first thought of the day was not likely _that_.”

“Good point.”

***

“You look happy,” Arisa commented as she joined Dorian at dinner, the camp full of laughter, music, and dancing.

“Your son has that effect on me,” Dorian glanced around, “wherever he is.”

“Last I saw him, he was drawing a map to Skyhold for Cyrel and Arlan,” Arisa waved in the direction she had seen him last, “he mentioned you might be bored and alone, so I came to find you.”

“I’m surprised Cassandra let Cyrel out of her sight.”

“She didn’t,” Arisa smiled, “she’s helping Camris. Have you enjoyed yourself here?”

“It is very different from my homeland,” Dorian considered, “but it is beautiful in its own way. I grew up in a big city, thousands of people around me all the time. The Clan, while the most Dalish I’ve ever seen in one space, is very small in comparison to what I’m used to.”

“Would it surprise you to hear that we’re one of the biggest clans in these parts?”

“It would.”

“We have about forty people, but most clans are about ten. For us, this is a city.”

“I wonder what Camris would think of Tevinter?”

“One day you should take him,” Arisa suggested, “and show him. He’s adaptable, he always has been.”

“That he is.”

“He seems very fond of you. I’m glad you finally told him how you feel.”

“Ah, yes. He doesn’t feel the same, yet, but I imagine he was quite surprised that I wanted anything outside of physical.”

“Though, judging by the state of your neck, the physical is going alright.”

Dorian blushed, “quite.”

“You need to keep in mind that we live _very_ close to each other, and our ears can hear a single fennec in the forest.” Arisa chuckled as Dorian’s blush deepened, “your activities are secret to no one, I’m afraid.”

“I apologize.”

“No need, we’re used to it. All a part of being Dalish,” Arisa waved off the apology, “Cyrel and Cassandra are no better.”

“Ah, there he is,” Dorian tried to change the subject as Camris came into view.

“It’s strange, to see them all grown,” Arisa watched Cyrel, Arlan, and Camris walk over to the food, “I remember when they were only little, clinging to the Keeper’s robes.”

“May I ask, what happened to his father? He only mentioned not knowing him, nothing else.”

“He died from the Blight when Camris was only…oh…maybe one? He was very young.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been difficult.”

“It was, but there are about fifteen years between them, so Cyrel helped.”

“Fifteen years? How old is Camris?”

“Let me think,” Arisa pointed to Arlan, “Cyrel is one hundred and thirty-five, so Camris and Arlan would be about one hundred and twenty, but he was born in the winter, so his birthday hasn’t passed yet.”

“One hundred and twenty.”

“Yes.”

“Camris, that Camris, is one hundred and twenty years old?”

“Well, I’m two hundred and fifty, so that works.”

“How is that even possible?” Dorian looked closely at Arisa, “you’ve got no signs of aging on you!”

Arisa laughed, “Da’len, the Elvhen can live to four hundred summers, I’m only just past middle age.”

“That’s…unbelievable…” though, the more Dorian thought about it, the more it made sense. Families in Tevinter often bragged of having slaves in their family for generations.

“How old are you?”

“Thirty,” Dorian watched as Camris found Bull and Varric, nodding for them to join him as he walked over to Dorian.

“Still a baby, then.”

“Humans are lucky to make it to eighty,” Dorian explained.

“Such a shame,” Arisa commented mildly, “what a short time to live an entire life.”

“What is?” Camris asked as he passed Dorian a plate of food, sitting on the ground near him.

“Dorian was just explaining that Humans live much shorter than Elvhen.”

“I think Humans live shorter than almost all races,” Camris pointed out, “Varric has mentioned that Dwarves can make it over one hundred years, Bull has said similar about Qunari.”

“Your lovely mother was just telling me that you’re one hundred and twenty years old.”

“About that,” Camris nodded.

“Really?” Cassandra appeared to be equally surprised, “you seem so young.”

“For Elvhen, I am young. Why, how old are you?”

“Forty, just about,” Cassandra turned to Varric, “how about you?”

“Forty-five.”

“Bull?”

“I’m not sure,” Bull thought for a minute, “maybe fifty? Maybe a little less? It sort of all bleeds together when you don’t give a shit.”

“You would have been born when my great-grandfather was still the head of the Pavus household,” Dorian considered the implication, “you’re older than my father.”

“Mmhmm,” Camris agreed, “other than Solas, I think I’m the oldest in the Inquisition.”

“An army run by children,” Arlan sighed, “a nice thought.”

“Arlan?”

“Yes, Cam?”

“Shut up.”

***

“Those two girls have been looking at you for the past hour, Amatus.”

“Who?” Camris glanced up, and found who Dorian was speaking about, “what about it?”

“Maybe they’re interested in you?”

“So what if they are?” Camris shrugged, “doesn’t matter to me.”

“You wouldn’t be interested in something a little closer to home?”

“Dorian,” Camris took Dorian’s hand, making a show of kissing his knuckles until the women who had been watching him looked away, “Skyhold is my home, and that’s where you are.”

“Still, maybe someone closer to your own age.”

“Lethalin, in comparison we are approximately the same age,” Camris looked at Dorian with concern, “what brought this on?”

“Nothing-“

“Dorian, please don’t lie.”

“Do you think that this will work out, or do you think we’re so different that it’s just a matter of time before we have to go our separate ways?”

“I don’t know,” Camris answered honestly, “but I do know that we’ll never find out if we don’t try. I thought you loved me?”

“I _do_ love you.”

“So why are you in such a rush to break your own heart before we even get started?” Camris wrapped his arm over Dorian’s shoulder, “Dorian, give me time to fall in love with you. If once I do, it is not what you were hoping for, we can discuss it.”

“How do you even know that you _can_ love me?”

“Call it a gut feeling,” Camris noticed the two women walking over, and pulled Dorian in for a kiss.

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and Camris pulled away.

“Cam?” one of the girls asked, “I was wondering if you might like to dance?”

“Thank you for the offer, Lethalin, but I’m afraid I’m spoken for,” Camris kept his arm over Dorian’s shoulders.

“Oh, alright,” as quickly as she came, the girl ran back to her friend, pointing to Dorian.

“Now they think we’re together.”

“Are we not?”

“Are we?”

Camris let out a frustrated sigh, “Dorian.”

“I’m just saying, we’ve never actually _said_ if this is a relationship.”

“Yes, this is a relationship. We are in a relationship. I am not interested in sleeping with those girls, I don’t care that you’re only thirty, I don’t want something closer to home. Better?”

“I-“ Dorian considered, “yes. Thank you.”

“Good, now, this is our going away party, are you going to dance with me?”

“Certainly.”

***

Dorian groaned as they prepared for their departure the next morning, up before the sun to ensure everything was packed.

“Do you have to leave already?”

“I wish I could stay, Mamae, but the world is depending on me getting back to work. Not to mention that Josephine likely has a pile of paperwork for me to get to. I also have to check the requisitions, gather supplies, speak with Harding, I’m pretty sure that there was a list of new rifts for me in the Storm Coast…”

“Da’len,” Arisa looked at Camris with concern, “and when are you meant to sleep?”

“Once the threat is gone, and everyone else is safe.”

“You’ll take care of him, right?” Arisa caught Dorian’s arm as he loaded a tent into their cart, “you won’t let him exhaust himself?”

“I’ll do my very best, but he has more than me that takes care of him,” Dorian assured, “Cassandra, Bull, Varric, we’re only a few of many that travel with Cam, and we all try to take care of him.”

“Stop fussing,” Cyrel placed a hand on Arisa’s shoulder before she spoke again, “the Creators gave this task to Camris because he is the only one who can do it. He has many friends and an army behind him. He will be _fine_.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I know Cam,” Cyrel smiled reassuringly, “if anyone can find a way to solve this problem, it’s him.”

Arisa sighed, “you’re right.”

“That’s all of it, Boss,” Bull lifted the rest of their kit into the cart, “we’re ready when you are.”

“Cyrel, go say goodbye to Arlan properly. I’m just going to do one more walk around to double-check we have everything.”

“Want some company?” Dorian offered.

“Sure,” Camris took Dorian’s hand, walking back toward the camp.

Dorian didn’t ask where they were going, he already knew, so he comfortably followed Camris through the forest to the cliff above the water. The sun wasn’t quite up yet, so Camris and Dorian sat on the edge and waited.

After a few minutes had passed, Camris spoke.

“What was it like, leaving your home and knowing you might not come back?”

“It was difficult,” Dorian started, “though I imagine it was made easier knowing that I was running for my life. Certainly, there is danger for us back in Skyhold, but I couldn’t sleep at night not being sure if my father might attempt another ritual. So in that regard, staying was far scarier than running was.”

“When I went to the conclave, I assumed I would be coming back to the Clan. I had no idea that I was going to end up getting some sort of magical mark that was going to change the course of my life. Leaving was easy because it was a choice that was made for me. This time..”

Camris paused as the sun crested the hill behind them, the sky above the water coming up bright pink.

“I’m deciding to leave this time, knowing that they might be safer if I stayed.”

“Safer for now, maybe,” Dorian agreed, “but not later.”

“You’re right, of course,” Camris took a steadying breath, “I suppose we should go.”

“Cam,” Dorian wrapped his arm over Camris’ shoulders, “I know this is difficult, but I’ll be there to help you. Whatever you need.”

“For which I am very grateful,” Camris kissed Dorian’s shoulder before standing, taking a moment for one last look over the water, “come on, I suppose it’s time to break my mother's heart.”

If Camris took the long way back, Dorian didn’t mention it, the obvious melancholy settling over Camris’ shoulders as they got closer to camp.

“Everyone ready to go?” Camris asked as they approached the cart, “Cyrel?”

“When you are.”

“Be careful,” Arisa pleaded as she hugged Camris, “be safe.”

“I’ll do my best, Mamae.”

“You too, Da’len,” Arisa reached for Dorian, hugging him, too, “I want to see you again soon.”

“Da’len?”

“It’s what our people call our children,” Cyrel explained, “a term of affection.”

“What would I call you?”

“Hahren,” Arisa answered, “but you can call me Mamae. My newest son.”

“Mamae,” Dorian was touched at the sentiment, “thank you, for your guidance.”

“Plenty more where that came from,” Arisa tried to joke past her tears, “feel free to write me whenever you need.”

“I will.”

“Alright, Inquisition, it’s time to go,” Camris mounted his hart, waiting for the others to get on their mounts, “Cyrel?”

“I was on foot.”

“Get in the cart, then. No point in exhausting yourself.”

“Dareth shiral, Inquisition,” the Keeper announced as they rode from camp.

“What does that mean?” Dorian whispered to Camris.

“Safe journeys.”


	9. Chapter 9

“What happens now?” Dorian asked as Skyholds imposing silhouette appeared in the distance.

“What do you mean?”

“With us,” Dorian hesitated, “now that we’re home.”

“Are you trying to give me an out?” Camris smiled at Dorian, “because I don’t want it.”

“Bull, Varric, Cassandra, you trust them. If we continue back at Skyhold _everyone_ will know.”

“They certainly will. They gossip like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Camris, I’m being serious.”

“As am I,” Camris arched an eyebrow at Dorian, “Lethalin, I think the only person who needs to make up their mind is _you_. If you’re feeling uncertain to my interest I’m happy to remind you, but this constant questioning is starting to make me wonder if you know what you want.”

“I love you.”

“There you are, then,” Camris shrugged, “you love me, I’m interested in you, so we’re in a relationship. I don’t give two shits who knows. I’m an Elvhen heretic anyway, I’m sure bedding an Altus from Tevinter isn’t going to change much in the way of their opinion of me. That being said, the news would certainly get back to your father, if that is something you would prefer to keep under control I would understand.”

Dorian considered for a minute, “no, I’m alright with him knowing.”

“So we’ll tell, or show, everyone. I doubt it will make much of a wave anyway, I already spent most of my time with you. I think most of Skyhold assumed we were already together.”

“Josie is going to be heartbroken,” Cassandra commented from beside them, “she’s quite fond of you, Inquisitor.”

“Josie is?” Camris looked shocked, “I had no idea.”

“She’s always been one for long-haired rogues. The fact that you look like something out of one of Varric’s romance novels does nothing to help her little crush.”

“He doesn’t look like one of my characters yet, Seeker, but he will.”

“Wonderful,” Camris sighed, “on the condition that you write about Dorian, too. I want to read all about how a beautiful Tevinter mage won my heart. I need all the details about how he looks in the dim light of an aravel, the way he sighs as I touch him.”

“Right, anything else I should add?”

“He has a birthmark right beside his bellybutton,” Camris smiled as Dorian cleared his throat, “and he’s a very giving lover.”

“Alright, thank you, Amatus.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you the other details later, Varric.”

“Maker save me.”

***

Camris had all but disappeared when they had returned, swept up by Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine. Camris had smiled apologetically as they had passed on their way to Leliana’s crows.

“Dinner later?” Dorian had called up the steps.

“Please!”

“Dinner?” Solas commented mildly as he reached for a book.

“It’s a meal, often eaten after lunch shortly after sundown. It’s good for you, you should try it.”

“I am aware of what dinner is, I was just curious about why you would be asking the Inquisitor to dinner.”

“We are…courting.”

“Courting in the middle of a war?”

“Yes,” Dorian fought the urge to get defensive, “life can’t be all death and destruction.”

“I never said that it needed to be,” Solas held up his hands in surrender, “I was just surprised that with all of the other commitments taking his time that Camris would have decided to take this on as well.”

“Dorian’s worth it,” Camris spoke from behind Solas, sneaking around him to kiss Dorian’s cheek, “yes to dinner, Lethalin. I have to meet to Cullen about troop movements, and then I have to have a word with Harritt about fixing my bow. It might be late, but if you still want to have dinner could we do it after that?”

“I can arrange for that,” Dorian managed to keep the smug grin from his face, “would you like to meet somewhere specific?”

“My quarters?” Camris searched through his pockets before producing a key, handing it to Dorian, “a bit more private.”

“I’ll see you then, Amatus.”

***

Camris looked exhausted by the time he had arrived back to his quarters, deep bags under his eyes as he all but dragged himself up the steps where Dorian was waiting.

“Maker, Camris, are you alright?”

“Fine,” Camris held out a bottle of wine to Dorian, “I’m just tired. I was gone for a few days, which means that I need to catch up.”

“We can do this another night…”

“Don’t be silly,” Camris undid his jacket, placing it over the chair by the desk, “you went to all this trouble, I’d be delighted to have dinner with you.”

“Perhaps we should have spread the journey over another day,” Dorian suggested as he brought the food over to Camris’ desk, “then you wouldn’t have been rushing around all afternoon.”

“I had a lot of paperwork to do,” Camris sat heavily, “I didn’t want to let Josie down, but I also wanted to spend time with you, so I’ve been buried under stacks of parchment for the past few hours. I’m caught up now.”

“I appreciate that you thought of me,” Dorian set a plate in front of Camris, opening the wine and pouring them each a glass, “now eat before you fall over.”

“Tell me about your day,” Camris took a sip of his wine, “I want to hear all about your research.”

“Let me start at the beginning, Amatus, though we might need more wine.”

***

“Come on,” Dorian laughed as Camris yawned and rubbed his eyes, “I’ve taken enough of your time, you need to sleep.”

“I think I’ll sleep here,” Camris crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair.

“Not when you have a beautiful new bed here for you,” Dorian tugged on Camris’ hand, pulling him from the chair, “come along.”

“If you insist,” Camris pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it over his shoulder, “well?”

“Well, what?”

“Aren’t you getting undressed?”

“You don’t have enough energy for such activities.”

“To _sleep_ , Dorian.”

“You want me to sleep in here?”

“Yes?” Camris looked at Dorian quizzically, “of course I do.”

“Oh,” Dorian watched as Camris finished undressing, walking over to the bed nude, “if you’re certain.”

“Dori,” Camris smirked as Dorian winced at the nickname, “if you ask me if I’m certain about you one more time I will tattoo the word on my forehead. Get naked, blow out the candles, and come to bed.”

“Your forehead already has tattoos on it, there isn’t any room,” Dorian did as requested, blowing out the candles before walking to the bed and undressing.

“It does, and it would be a shame to ruin it now,” Camris pulled back the covers for Dorian, immediately curling around him as he settled against the pillows, “goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams, Amatus.”

***

“There you are,” Camris jogged over to Dorian in the tavern, “I wanted to catch you before I left.”

“Before you… _left_?”

“Yes, remember I told you I was going to the Hinterlands today?”

“You did, but you didn’t say when we were leaving.”

“I’m taking Solas, Cassandra, and Blackwall,” Camris looked at Dorian quizzically, “you weren’t listening, were you?”

“Was I reading?”

“Yes.”

“Then I was _half_ -listening. My apologies. How long will you be gone for?”

“A week, maybe two.”

“That long?”

“Creators, you really weren’t listening, were you?”

“That’s a long time.”

“No longer than when I normally leave, I just usually bring you with me. Solas thinks there is another artifact near Dennett’s farm, and he wants to investigate that ruin we found the first one in for something like a map.”

“I could do that.”

“You don’t read Elvhen.”

“No, but you do.”

“Not ancient Elvhen, no,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “I need to go, they’re waiting for me.”

“Fine.”

“You’re upset,” Camris studied Dorian’s face, “why?”

“I’m not upset.”

“You’re a shit liar, Dorian. What have I done?”

“Nothing, go, have fun. I’ll wait for you here.”

Camris sighed, a hand through his hair as he looked at Dorian.

“Go, Boss. I’ll talk him through it.”

“Thanks, Bull,” Camris pulled Dorian in for a proper kiss, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Be safe, Amatus.”

Camris rushed from the tavern, and Dorian sat with a huff, signaling for another round.

“He has to work,” Bull signaled for a drink of his own, “he leads the Inquisition.”

“I know.”

“And sometimes there will be people that are better suited than us that need to travel with him so he can get that work done.”

 _“I know_.”

“Him leaving you here doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you,” Bull kept his voice low so only Dorian could hear, “it means that he’s making the hard choices when he needs to. He would prefer to take you with him, but he needs the elfy-egghead.”

Dorian let out a frustrated breath, “I know that, too.”

“Don’t make him feel bad when he has to make those choices. Sometimes he won’t be able to win no matter what he’s doing. Give him a break, he has the worst job in all of Thedas right now.”

“I’ll miss him.”

“So miss him, be grouchy, throw shit around your room and act like an asshole, _after_ he leaves.”

“Yes, thank you, _mother_.”

“Qunari’s don’t have mothers,” Bull pat Dorian on the back, “but I know weakness when I see it. Camris was tempted to stay when he saw you were upset. The world depends on him going. Don’t forget the pressure he’s under, that’s all.”

“Thank you for the reminder.”

“We all need someone to keep us in check.”

***

Dorian had taken Bull’s advice and thrown books around his room before he curled up into bed to sleep that night. It felt lonely and wrong after they had spent so many nights together with the Dalish, and the past few nights since their return.

Dorian frowned into his pillow. What he needed was a _project_. Something to keep his mind off the distance until Camris returned.

He was still waiting for the books from Tevinter to do further research into Corypheus, so he was at a standstill there.

 _Of course,_ Dorian sat up with a jolt, _I still need to win Camris’ heart_.

It was obvious, Dorian realized as he scrambled to pull a pair of pants and a loose shirt on. His feet quickly shoved into his boots; Dorian made his way to the library. It was deserted, given the late time of the night, but Dorian knew that he was looking for.

_Courtship within Thedas – A Study in Human, Elven, and Dwarven Relationships_

Dorian had remembered laughing when he had come across the title weeks before, but now there was time to research, to prepare.

When Camris came back, Dorian would be ready.

***

One week bled into two, and Dorian grew anxious. He had spoken with Solas who had done little to help his endeavor to win over the Inquisitor, instead giving him a long and drawn-out lecture about the importance of what the Inquisitor was doing.

Dalish had been helpful, telling him that each Clan was different in how they courted, so while she could give him ideas, it may be different for Clan Lavellan.

She also went into _great lengths_ , with the help of Bull, to explain what Camris might enjoy in bed. It had been mortifying, but still educational.

Dorian had taken the time to gather what Dalish had suggested. Some fresh herbs that had been carefully dried for poisons and potions, some books on Dalish lore, a new set of lock picks.

Now all he needed was Camris.

It was times like this that Dorian missed home. Tevinter was complicated, but Dorian was on steady ground there. He knew that what the men he had in his life offered him was only pleasure. It was disappointing, but it was expected. If you knew where you stood, it was harder for someone to pull the rug out from under you.

Camris was the great unknown. It was exciting and terrifying, all at the same time.

“Hey,” Bull’s voice caught his attention, and Dorian glanced up from the book he was reading, “the Boss is back.”

“When did he arrive?”

“About five minutes ago. He’s unloading the carts.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Dorian pat Bull on the chest as he rushed by.

It was difficult to part the crowd given the normal welcoming party when the Inquisitor returned. Dorian grumbled as no less than three people stepped on his foot as he pushed his way toward the cart.

“Dorian,” Cassandra greeted him, “I expected to see you here.”

“I am nothing if not predictable, Seeker. Where is Camris?”

“Right here,” Camris’ voice came from behind him, making Dorian jump as he turned around.

“I do wish you wouldn’t sneak up on me, Amatus. I know you’re a very skilled rogue, but it’s still poor manners.”

Camris’ smile widened, “apologies, Lethalin.”

“Why are you grinning at me like that, is my makeup smudged?”

“I missed you,” Camris reached for Dorian, pulling him in for a hug, holding him tightly for a moment before whispering in his ear, “if I kiss you in front of all these people, would that make you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all.”

“Good,” Camris pulled back just far enough to kiss him, a strong hand on his lower back keeping their bodies pressed together.

Dorian could hear the gasps around them, but the feeling of Camris finally being with him again overrode his concern. It was lovely, and Dorian decided to indulge himself in tangling his fingers in Camris’ hair.

“Inquisitor,” Cassandra cleared her throat, “as happy as I am for you, this might not be the place for an intimate reunion.”

“I disagree,” Camris pulled away and glanced at her, “depending on your interests, this might be the _perfect_ place for an intimate reunion.”

“Camris.”

“Fine,” Camris stuck his tongue out at Cassandra, “professionalism. I understand.”

“Go,” Cassandra gave Camris a slight push, “spend time with Dorian. I will give Josephine our report.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, now go before I change my mind.”

Camris took Dorian’s hand, “do you have time for me?”

“Of course.”

***

Dorian wasn’t sure what to do once they were alone in Camris’ quarters, watching with interest as Camris undid his jacket and tossed it on the couch, his shirt coming next, flung onto the floor with his boots and pants which were shed shortly after.

“Come on, Lethalin,” Camris crawled across the bed in his smalls, patting the mattress beside him, “undress and lay with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I missed you, and I’d like to hold you. If you wore _soft_ clothes, I would say they could say on, but you’re covered in leather and buckles.”

“No accounting for fashion here in the south,” Dorian started on the buckles, noticing from the corner of his eye that Camris was watching him, “in Tevinter my outfit is the peak of fashion.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“People line up at the shops to buy clothes just like this.”

“I bet.”

Dorian set the top half of his clothes aside, taking the time to kick off his boots before turning back to the bed, slowly unlacing his trousers, “they’re designed to be functional, and attractive.”

“I’m sure they’re both, but right now they’re in the way.”

“Of?”

“Your beautiful golden skin,” Camris grabbed for Dorian as soon as he was level with the bed, rolling Dorian onto his back and hovering over him, “which I have missed terribly.”

“Well now you’re back, and here I am,” Dorian licked his lips as Camris straddled him, “what would you like to do?”

“I’m going to kiss you,” Camris pressed a kiss to Dorian’s chest, “and stroke you until you can’t remember any name but mine.”

“Big promises, Inquisitor.”

“Lucky for you I’ve always been known to keep my promises.”

***

Dorian was fairly certain he was in heaven. He was nude, wrapped in the arms of a man that he loved, and basking in the sunlight coming through beautiful windows after he had been kissed and touched until he had been more than satisfied.

 _Twice_.

“I missed you,” Camris kissed his forehead, “terribly.”

“And I missed you, Amatus.”

“What have you been up to while I was away?”

“Research,” Dorian didn’t specify what he had been researching, “and drinking with Bull.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“I’ve had more fun in the past few hours than I have in the past few weeks, trust me.”

Camris laughed, rolling onto his back and bringing Dorian with him, “I’m glad.”

“What’s this?” Dorian noticed a shiny new scar on Camris’ stomach.

“Pride demon,” Camris commented mildly, “where we were looking at the artifact in the Hinterlands.”

“I didn’t notice,” Dorian felt guilty, “I didn’t hurt you during, did I?”

“It would have been worth it, but no, you didn’t.”

Dorian kissed the scar, “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for.”

“I should have noticed.”

“You did.”

“I should have noticed _before_.”

“Dorian,” Camris silenced him with a kiss, “you _did_ notice. Why are you so worried? It’s healed. Solas took care of it.”

Dorian flushed, “I just want to be…”

“Be?”

“Enough,” Dorian finished lamely, “I watched you undress and I didn’t even notice that you had been burned.”

“You are enough,” Camris said firmly, “of course you are. Why on earth would you think you aren’t?”

“It occurred to me while you were away that I have no idea how the Dalish court.”

“So?”

“How am I going to win your heart if I don’t know how to court you?”

“What do you call this, what we’re doing right now?”

“Laying in the afterglow?”

“Well, yes,” Camris agreed as he started to card his fingers through Dorian’s hair, “but this is also courting.”

“I did some reading, while you were away.”

“About?”

“Dalish courting customs.”

“Oh?”

“I know I’m meant to find you a healthy elfroot plant and present it to you.”

“A…what?”

“Elfroot plant.”

“Which book did you read?”

Dorian flushed, “one I found in our library.”

“I can honestly say I’ve never seen any Dalish court with an elfroot plant. Was the book written by a Human?”

“Likely.”

“That explains it.”

“Dalish said that I should find you something like a lyrium potion, but I didn’t think you would find that useful.”

“No,” Camis agreed, “but that might be a way of courting a magic user in a clan. It shows that you’re interested in them. If you were curious about how my clan courts, you could have just asked me.”

“What’s the romance in that?”

“It shows you’re interested in me, for one, and my culture.”

“Alright,” Dorian carefully traced the new scar, “how does clan Lavellan court?”

“It depends on your role within the clan. Magic users might be gifted things like potions or rare ingredients to show interest. They might research together or take time recounting lore. Hunters, like me, are usually courted by showing care. Someone might restring my bow for me, or offer to take care of the kill I brought back. Alternatively, it was not unusual for an interested party to offer to massage a Hunter’s shoulders or back after a particularly long hunt. The Hunters of the clan would be like the workhorse of the entire thing. We have to start work early, sometimes laying traps and repairing them or tracking a large kill for hours a day. If you were Dalish, you would try and get my attention by taking care of me while I took care of everyone else.”

“The book I read said nothing like that.”

“How would you court me if I were Human?”

“I’m not sure that I know,” Dorian frowned, “I’ve never known anything but relationships entirely based around sex.”

“Ah,” Camris’ hand twitched in Dorian’s hair, “does it bother you then that we haven’t done that yet?”

“No,” Dorian let out a huff of laughter, “you keep me plenty satisfied with what we already do. I daresay that I think you’re still slightly uncomfortable with the idea.”

“Not uncomfortable, exactly. More intimidated I think.”

“No need to rush, Amatus. We have time.”

“I certainly hope so. What would you like to do for the afternoon?”

“I was thinking,” Dorian glanced up to meet Camris’ gaze, “I might offer you a back massage?”

Camris’ smile was blinding.

“I think I’d like that.”


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Dorian was finished with the massage, Camris was asleep. Dorian kissed between his shoulder blades and carefully got off of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Camris mumbled, still mostly asleep.

“I was leaving so you could rest.”

“Not on your life, Lethalin, get back here.”

“I have more research-“

“No,” Camris cut him off, “you’ve got a partner who missed you and wants to take a nap with you. Your research can wait.”

Dorian smiled as a small frown crossed Camris’ face, “alright, Amatus, don’t frown.”

“In bed, Dorian. I’m lonely.”

“You’re lonely,” Dorian snorted as he found a blanket in a nearby dresser to cover them with, spreading it over Camris before getting into the bed next to him, “I’m still in the room.”

“That’s better,” Camris turned, curling around Dorian, “now close your eyes and sleep.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

***

Dorian woke around dinner, the smell of food rousing him from his sleep. Camris smiled as he noticed Dorian starting to stir, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge, leaning forward to kiss Dorian’s shoulder.

Dorian hummed, turning to face Camris and opening one eye, “what time is it?”

“Dinner time,” Camris kissed him again, “I’ve brought you some food.”

“Is it my birthday? I feel as if I’m being spoiled.”

“I’m just returning the favor for that lovely massage.”

Dorian rolled onto his back, reaching for Camris who came easily, curling up in Dorian’s arms, “I’m glad your back.”

“Me too, it’s good to be home.”

“You won’t leave without me again will you?”

“Hopefully not,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “come on, let’s eat.”

***

“Do you mind if I go to my quarters to get the book I was reading?” Dorian asked after dinner, “it seems as if you’re planning on keeping me here for the night.”

“Go ahead,” Camris gestured to their plates, “I was going to run these to the kitchen anyway.”

“Wonderful, I shouldn’t be long.”

“Take your time,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “I’ll be here.”

Dorian smiled, quickly dressing and walking to his quarters. After a search, it became apparent that the book was not in his room, so he decided to check to see if it was in the library.

Dorian liked the library at night, it was always quiet, the various scouts which often distracted Dorian walking up and down the stairs to get to Leliana had retired for the evening, leaving only the archivist and the odd visitor.

“Altus Pavus.”

Dorian winced mid-exploration of his usual alcove as the sound of Mother Giselle’s voice came from behind him.

“Mother Giselle, what brings you to the library this time of night?” Dorian didn’t actually care, nor did he turn to speak with her directly.

“I was hoping I would be able to speak with you, about your relationship with the Inquisitor.”

“Again? And here I thought that you were a smart woman who knew when their opinion wasn’t wanted.”

“I speak only from a place of concern. Surely you understand how being associated with someone from your homeland could negatively implicate the Inquisitor. He is already in a position of great emotional burden, to add an attempt at a relationship as well…”

“Camris is a big boy, he’s capable of making his own decisions.”

“Sometimes we must make hard decisions for our friends.”

“Honestly, why are you still clucking at me about this?”

“Surely you agree that the Inquisitor could be with someone more suitable to his rank.”

Dorian found the book, tucking it under his arm as he turned on Giselle, “ _of course I do_.”

“So why are you doing this?”

“Because,” Dorian could tell he was raising his voice, “he makes me happy.”

“So it’s for selfish reasons.”

“Dorian?” Both Dorian and Giselle turned as Camris’ voice came from the stairs, “everything alright?”

“Yes,” Dorian held up the book, “turns out I left it in the library.”

Camris studied Dorian’s face for a moment before walking over to him, “is she on at you again?”

“I am only voicing concern for your wellbeing.”

“Oh?” Camris wrapped a protective arm over Dorian’s shoulder, “how is that, exactly? Taking away the one person who gives me something in the way of comfort during this war?”

“He is of Tevinter.”

“You know,” Camris leaned in toward Dorian, speaking in an exaggerated whisper, “I think I’ve figured out the problem.”

“Oh?” Dorian could feel Camris’ arm trembling slightly over his shoulder, “what’s that, Amatus?”

“Our lovely Mother Giselle misunderstands you because she’s not familiar with your homeland. Maybe, if we stationed her with some of the Tevinter ambassadors she would better understand the cultural differences?”

“That is an idea,” Dorian managed to keep the smirk off of his face, “maybe we could come to a mutual understanding if she saw the beauty of Minrathous at night?”

“Inquisitor…”

“I think it’s a fine idea,” Camris nodded sagely, “I’ll speak with Josephine in the morning. She’s been asking me to further develop our relationship with Tevinter, all that magical knowledge you understand, so this might be the perfect opportunity.”

“Very wise, Amatus.”

“I…” Mother Giselle cleared her throat, “would rather not, Inquisitor.”

“No?” Camris leveled her with a glare that made Dorian’s skin come up in goosebumps, “we’ll make a deal then.”

“A deal?”

“A deal,” Camris squeezed Dorian’s shoulder, “you will leave Dorian alone, and I mean _alone_ , and you are welcome to stay here in Skyhold. I hear that you’ve brought up Dorian’s birth, our relationship, his homeland, to Dorian or anyone else within the Inquisition, and I will have you stationed with the Tevinter ambassadors. You will remain there until you have a healthy appreciation of Tevinter, and the beautiful things that come from it.”

“Yes, Inquisitor, understood.”

“I mean it,” Camris’ voice dropped, low and threatening, “I will see you sent from this keep if you continue to harass Dorian for our relationship. If you have an issue with who I care about and who I bed you can bring it up with _me_ , but I suggest you save your preaching for someone who cares.”

Mother Giselle nodded, “The Maker-“

“Save it,” Camris cut her off, “I don’t believe in your Maker, nor his bride. My Creators taught me to love and care for everyone, regardless of race, place of birth, or wealth. If your Maker teaches you to be a judgemental bitch you can keep him.”

Camris turned, Dorian following, as they marched from the library.

“If she says _anything_ to you, Lethalin, tell me,” Camris led Dorian back to his quarters, “I mean it. I’ll exile her to Tevinter to work at some plague-infected hospital.”

“I will.”

“Honestly, what a cow,” Camris through open the door, locking it firmly behind them and starting up the steps, “imagine thinking that you’re so important that you can tell someone who they can be with?”

“She’s not wrong, Amatus. People will judge you for your interest in me.”

“I don’t care,” Camris turned to face Dorian, holding him firmly by his shoulders, “do you hear me? I _don’t care_. I like you, Dorian. I like spending time with you, I like reading with you and holding you at night. I don’t give two shits if people think poorly of me for it. I’ve waited my entire life to find someone like you.”

Dorian found himself speechless, staring at Camris’ eyes as they flared with passion as he spoke.

“I won’t let some selfish _evil_ woman ruin this because she hasn’t had a good lay in fifty years. She can go fuck a nug for all I care.”

“I love you,” Dorian managed to blurt out, “very much.”

Suddenly, Camris was kissing him, Dorian helpless to do anything but hold onto Camris and be kissed. Dorian felt a shiver pass over him and realized absently that they hadn’t made it into Camris’ room yet, still standing on the stairs by the broken-down wall.

“Are you cold?” Camris asked as he pulled away.

“A bit.”

“Come on,” Camris pulled Dorian up the final stairs, “I’ll get the fire hot again and you can read to me from your terrible book about Dalish courting customs.”

“It’s not terrible,” Dorian defended.

“I bet that more than half of what they’ve written is wrong.”

“Let’s see.”

***

Dorian smiled as he glanced down at Camris who was lying curled up with his head on Dorian’s thigh, “something in this book must be right.”

“So far, no.”

“Alright, how about this one,” Dorian turned the page, “ _Dalish are private by nature, as such are more prone to physical relationships without emotional involvement.”_

 _“_ No.”

“Okay, how about _Dalish value gifts due to their inability to have access to consistent trade_.”

“That’s awfully judgy, besides, who doesn’t like receiving gifts on occasion?”

“Fair. _Due to Dalish clans dying out rapidly, they are quick to judge relationships which consist of a race outside of other Elvhen.”_

“Partially true, depending on the clan. Half-elves are just as accepted within my clan, but not all of them.”

“ _Dalish take wedding vows very seriously, as such, when they have decided to commit to a marriage they will generally stay together until one of the partners dies.”_

“True.”

“Really? Is there no divorce?”

“There is, but it’s not common.”

“We divorce for sport in Tevinter,” Dorian turned the page again, “my father was married off three times before he met my mother.”

“Interesting. I hope that doesn’t apply to us.”

Dorian paused his reading mid-sentence, “you see us getting married?”

“Isn’t that what people in love do?”

“I suppose it is,” Dorian closed the book setting it aside, “are you saying that you see a future for us?”

“Don’t you?”

“I’m in love with you, Cam, but I’ve never had a life that would allow permanence in a relationship. I’m not sure what the future might look like for us.”

“What do you want?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You live in Ferelden now. You have a choice.”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

“You should,” Camris kissed Dorian’s stomach, “figure out your ideal, and then we can work toward it.”

“What about what you want?”

“I want someone who loves me, someone I can provide for, someone who values me for what I have, and what I don’t. I hope to build a home with that person, wherever they like, so long as they don’t leave me once we’ve made one.”

“That’s very romantic, Amatus.”

“I’d also like that person to be you.”

Dorian blushed, “how can you be sure of that?”

“I’m not sure of anything, not really. I know that I care about you, that I’ve enjoyed our time together, and while this is still new to me that I haven’t been this happy in ages. Now, what would you like?”

“All of those things,” Dorian distracted himself from Camris’ gaze by carding his fingers through Camris’ hair, “I want to go back to Tevinter, eventually. I hope that is to say if you would be interested, I would like you to come with me. Understand, Amatus, it would not be safe for you there.”

“It’s not safe for me here,” Camris kissed Dorian’s stomach again, “I don’t mind some danger.”

“Would you come?”

“If you asked.”

Dorian let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, “truly?”

“Will there be more back massages if I come?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll pack tomorrow.”

***

Dorian woke before Camris, unsurprising given the fact Camris had been traveling. He was facing Dorian, breathing deeply and slowly as he dreamed.

He was _beautiful_.

Dorian took the opportunity to study Camris’ face, imagining what it might be like to wake up next to him every morning. His heart gave a pleasant thump at the thought.

Reaching over to the table next to the bed, Dorian retrieved the book from the night before and flipped to his bookmark.

_Dalish have different opinions on sex to most Humans. While they frequently engage in various sexual activities with one another, they often save certain acts, which appear to vary by clan, for those whom they are planning on marrying. It is important to note that there does not appear to be any social issues with the Dalish marrying the same gender, and during our studies we saw many variations of couples and "bond-mates"._

_Oh_ , Dorian glanced at Camris who let out a soft snore, _wonder if that one is true or false._

Camris shifted, rolling onto his back and covering his face with his arm against the sun as it came through the windows, the bright blue of his new tattoos standing out against the warmth of his skin, the unusual green of the mark standing out like a scar across the palm of his hand.

It was interesting, and Dorian set the book aside to move closer to get a better look.

It didn’t look like much if Dorian was being honest. A slight dip in the skin which instead of being filled with the typical darker skin of a scar, was filled with the unusual green of the fade. Dorian wondered if it would react with his magic, realizing with a flush that Camris was right-handed, which meant the mark had been on more intimate places.

Dorian reached out, carefully brushing the mark with his fingers, expecting to feel a tingle or a shock. Instead, Camris’ fingers closed, holding Dorian’s hand still.

“That tickles,” Camris murmured, “what are you doing?”

“Apologies. I was looking at the mark.”

“Ah,” Camris opened his hand, moving his arm from his face and holding his hand so Dorian could take a closer look, “you could have asked.”

“You were sleeping,” Dorian sat up to bring Camris’ hand closer, brushing his thumb more firmly over it, “what does it feel like?”

“It mostly just hurts,” Camris rubbed his face with his other hand, “it burns during the day, but it’s just mild. When I get near one of the rifts though, it hurts up my arm. It was awful when the breach was open, I couldn’t sleep because of it.”

“Healing potions don’t help?”

“No, but at least it stopped spreading.”

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

“Also no.”

“It’s amazing,” Dorian decided, “to have such a connection to the Fade.”

“If you say so, you’re the magic-user.”

“I read something interesting in my book this morning I would like to ask you about…”

Camris snorted, “this should be good.”

“Do the Dalish have certain sexual acts that they only do with their intended betrothed?”

Camris laughed, “you saw Cassandra and Cyrel disappearing off together, what do you think?”

“They could have been doing things similar to what you and I do.”

“No, the Dalish don’t have any strange vows of celibacy. You and I are taking it slowly because I’ve never shared my bed with a man before, and I want to make sure I’m comfortable throughout each new experience.”

“I’m not trying to rush you,” Dorian was quick to interject.

“I know, but I’m not sure how your prior relationships worked, so I’m just clarifying. I do have a favor to ask though, Lethalin.”

“What’s that?”

“Throw that damn book out.”

***

“First is a trip to Orlais,” Josephine set a piece of parchment down in front of Camris, “then to the Storm Coast to address the darkspawn seen there, and from there you come back to Skyhold to hold court and then off to the Exalted Plains to further your conversation with the Dalish clan there.”

Camris sighed but nodded, “and then the Winter Palace?”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“Sounds like you have my next few months planned out for me, Josie.”

“I apologize, Inquisitor, you have much to do.”

“So it would seem,” Camris groaned.

“I’ll come with you,” Dorian offered, “help ease the load a bit.”

“I bet you’ll help _ease the load_ ,” Bull elbowed Varric as he laughed.

“Quite,” Josephine frowned at him, “we have many guests, Bull. Please keep your jokes to yourself.”

“I would be happy to have you join me,” Camris reviewed the itinerary provided by Josephine, “Blackwall, Cassandra, are you available to come too?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I’ve got nothing else to do but work on that rocking horse.”

“Aw, you’re leaving me behind? That’s not nice, Boss.”

“I need you and the rest of the Chargers out near Haven looking for bodies, personal belongings, and dealing with any rogue mages out that way.”

“You can count on us.”

“I know,” Camris stood, “well, I should organize supplies and repairs before we go. We’ll leave tomorrow.”

***

Camris winced as the golden gates of Orlais loomed above them, something Cassandra noticed immediately, placing a supportive hand on Camris’ shoulder.

“Problem, Amatus?”

“Find me one Dalish here that isn’t a servant,” Camris passed off his hart to the stable near the front of the gates, smirking as the groomed looked vaguely panicked at the animal, “I can cover my ears with my hair easily enough, but the tattoos are almost impossible to conceal. I can’t pretend to be human here, and I’ll be treated worse because of it.”

“Just mention that you’re the Inquisitor.”

“He tries that,” Cassandra shouldered her bag, “they never believe him.”

“Why not?”

Camris laughed, “because I’m Dalish.”

“Why is it so hard to believe that someone Dalish might hold a position of power?”

“Because the Humans’ took over and ensured that we stayed out of their way. Well,” Camris glanced at Cassandra, “well, some of them.”

“Some time has passed since our last visit, Inquisitor. They’re likely aware of your position now, and you should be treated with more respect.”

“Well, let’s find out.”

***

It had been just as bad as Dorian had feared.

Camris showed remarkable restraint as he conducted negotiations with some pompous Orlesian, but as he was called _rabbit_ for the fourth time, Dorian noticed his resolve slipping.

“Inquisitor,” Dorian cut into the conversation, “as interesting as this all is, don’t forget you have a meeting with the Tevinter ambassador later about the trade agreements.”

“Do I?” Camris arched an eyebrow, “I thought that was tomorrow.”

“No, tomorrow you’re preparing for the Winter Palace.”

“That’s right,” Camris nodded, barely managing to conceal his smile, “thank you for reminding me, Altus Pavus.”

“Of course, Inquisitor. I apologize for interrupting.”

“Not at all,” Camris turned back to the Orlesian who was staring at him in shock, “as my partner has so kindly reminded me, I have another appointment this evening, so let us continue.”

“Of course,” the man cleared his throat, “Inquisitor.”

***

Camris had managed to wait until they were out of sight of the estate before grabbing Dorian by the arm and pulling him into a kiss.

“You amazing,” Camris kissed Dorian on the lips, “clever,” on the nose, “man,” on the forehead.

“I thought he might explode,” Cassandra commented mildly.

“Am _so glad_ you’re mine,” Camris’ eyes were sparkling, and Dorian could feel his cheeks flush, “that was the most fun I’ve ever had negotiating land.”

“Tevinter ambassador,” Blackwall rubbed his beard, “what made you think of that?”

“It was clear that he didn’t think our Inquisitor was that important, I just decided to prove him wrong.”

“You’re the best,” Camris wrapped his arm over Dorian’s shoulder, “come on, let me buy you dinner.”

***

The inn that Camris had picked for them to stay at was close to the restaurant, so Dorian and the others felt comfortable finishing off the two bottles of wine that the owner had provided once Dorian had impressed that the _Inquisitor_ was with them.

“This is the best time I’ve ever had in Orlais,” Camris declared as he finished his wine, “thank you, Lethalin, for being with me.”

“You’re welcome, Amatus.”

“Shall we head to the inn for bed?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” Blackwall yawned, “not young enough to keep up with you youngsters anymore.”

“I’m over twice your age, Blackwall,” Camris waved for the waitress who had been tending to them for the evening.

“That might be so, but I’m much older than you in body, Inquisitor.”

Camris smiled as the waitress rushed over, “yes, Inquisitor?”

“I’d like to settle the bill, please.”

“It’s on the house, Ser. A thank you from the owner for reigning in the Templars.”

“That’s very kind,” Camris stood, reaching into his pocket and pulling a small bag of gold and passing it to her, “for your time this evening. Thank you.”

“Oh, thank you, Inquisitor.”

“You’re very welcome,” Camris offered his arm to Dorian who took it easily.

They had only rented three rooms, Camris citing money-saving as Cassandra rolled her eyes at him. Dorian had been glad, though. He knew full well that either one of them would have left their rooms in the middle of the night to be together.

“Night you two,” Camris gave a wave as the walked into the inn, all but dragging Dorian up the stairs to their room.

It was humble, as humble as an inn in Orlais ever was, but it would serve for the few days that they were staying there.

Dorian waited for Camris to unlock the door, walking in and lighting the candles with a wave of his hand, “a successful day if I do say so myself.”

Camris locked the door, turning and facing Dorian reaching for him with rogues grace and pulling him into his arms.

“Oh, hello, Amatus.”

“Hello,” Camris surged forward, kissing Dorian until he melted against Camris.

Camris couldn’t help but smirk as Dorian yelped when Camris reached for his backside, lifting him to wrap his legs around Camris’ waist as he turned and pinned Dorian against the door.

“ _Amatus,_ ” Dorian wrapped his arms tightly around Camris’ neck, “don’t drop me.”

“I wouldn’t,” Camris kissed Dorian again, “but I’ve wanted to kiss you since we sat down for dinner.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t want to diminish your standing here, being seen courting an Elf,” Camris buried his face against Dorian’s neck, inhaling deeply before gently biting down on the muscle.

“Diminish away, Amatus,” Dorian groaned, baring his neck for Camris.

“I need you nude,” Camris turned, taking Dorian with him as he carried him further into the room, “ _now_.”

“Oh, do you have plans for me?” Dorian felt a thrill at how easily Camris carried him to the bed.

“Of course, as the Tevinter ambassador, we need to negotiate a trade.”

“What do you suggest, Inquisitor?”

“It’s simple,” Camris set Dorian on the bed, looming over him, “your pleasure for mine.”

“That does sound like a fair deal.”

“Wonderful,” Camris reached for Dorian’s belt, “shall we begin the trade?”

“On your order, Inquisitor.”


	11. Chapter 11

Dorian woke to the feeling of Camris’ running his hand over his back. Dorian kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Camris’ strong fingers tracing the dip of his spine, stopping just short of the curve of his bum before going back up to his shoulder and repeating the trail over again.

Each pass Camris would get a little braver, moving a little further down over the curve of his backside before coming back up to his shoulder. Now and then the path would change, a random circle around some freckle or mole, and then would resume again.

Dorian found himself holding his breath at each slow stroke down his back, fighting the urge to push his bum up into Camris’ hand, scared to stop the gentle exploration.

Camris shifted, bending forward and kissing Dorian’s shoulder, whispering, “I know you’re awake.”

“How do you always know?” Dorian turned to face Camris instead of the window, “if I don’t move?”

“Your breathing changes,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “how are you feeling this morning?”

“I seemed to have escaped the hangover,” Dorian closed his eyes as Camris started stroking his back again, “and after our…negotiations…last night, it’s hard to feel anything but satisfied.”

“I’m glad.”

“You can touch, you know,” Dorian commented after another near miss, “I’m not sure if you’re avoiding that part of me for a reason, but you’re welcome to touch.”

“I wasn’t sure if it would be teasing you.”

“Why would it be?”

“I may have never had a man in my bed before, but plenty of my friends have,” Camris sat up, patting Dorian on the bum before standing and walking over to his bag, “I’m aware how sex between two men works, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up before I’m ready.”

“I appreciate the consideration, but there’s no part of me that’s off-limits to you.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Noted,” Camris dressed as Dorian continued to rest on the bed.

It was the sharp slap to Dorian’s backside that jolted him fully awake, “ _Amatus!”_

“Yes, my dear?”

“What was that for?”

“You said I could touch,” Camris grinned as Dorian rolled over, looking scandalized, “so I did.”

“I didn’t say you could _hit_.”

“You don’t like being spanked?”

“That’s beside the point!”

“Is it?” Camris smirked, “I would be able to take your protest much more seriously if you weren’t looking at me like you were considering taking me over the bed.”

“Of course I’m considering taking you over the bed, I’ve thought of little else since I saw you for the first time,” Dorian huffed, throwing the blanket at Camris as he stood, “menace.”

“Yes, I know, I’m a bad man.”

“With such a smart mouth, too,” Dorian grumbled as he pulled on his smalls, “I could give your mouth something else to do if you like.”

An unreadable expression passed across Camris’ face and Dorian panicked, wondering if he had overstepped. Just as he was about to apologize, Camris spoke.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Lethalin.”

***

The rest of the trip had been made up of negotiations for trade routes and deals for the Inquisition, something that Camris was surprisingly talented at.

“No,” Camris shook his head at the Orlesian woman he spoke with, “that’s unreasonable for elfroot. We won’t pay it.”

“You’ll pay it, or you’ll go without.”

Camris rolled his eyes, “no, we won’t. The only reason I have reached out to you was to offer you a courtesy. If you don’t wish to be the primary supplier of herbs for the Inquisition that’s fine. I have another source in the Hinterlands who I’m sure would be more than happy to accommodate.”

“What does he charge for a bundle of elfroot?”

“Fifteen gold.”

It was a lie, and it was a _good_ lie. Camris didn’t even flinch as he answered, no hint that he was being deceptive. Dorian knew full well that the man in the Hinterlands charged twenty gold.

“I can’t make a profit for fifteen gold, Inquisitor.”

“We’re bargaining, make a counteroffer. I can tell you that we won’t be paying the thirty that you’re asking for.”

“Twenty-five.”

“Come on,” Camris waved for the group, “let’s not waste any more time.”

“Twenty!”

Camris paused, turning back, “you have a deal, but only if you agree to sell blood lotus and spindleweed for the same, and you need to set up a shop in Skyhold for easy delivery.”

“Yes, fine,” the woman was so flustered she agreed immediately, “we can be there in four weeks.”

“Three.”

“Fine, three. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes, we certainly do,” Camris shook her hand, “thank you for your time today. You’ll be hearing from Josephine next week.”

There was a small bow exchanged, and Camris lead the group toward the next vendor.

“Impressive, Inquisitor.”

“Thank you,” Camris tied his hair back with a small strip of leather, “you don’t want to barter with the Dalish. We’re patient, and we know what things are worth. Thirty gold for elfroot, the cheek of it.”

“Josephine would be proud.”

“Well, let’s see if I can do any better with lyrium,” Camris rolled up his sleeves, showing off the bright blue of his tattoos, “once this deal is done, we have the afternoon to ourselves.”

“Good luck, Inquisitor,” Cassandra stood by the door to the merchant’s shop, “Blackwall and I will let you and Dorian handle this one.”

“You just want to go shopping for books, don’t lie to me, Cassandra.”

Cassandra blushed, “do you mind? Cyrel gave me a list of books he enjoys.”

“Of course not, go,” Camris waved her off, “Blackwall?”

“Afraid I won’t be much help negotiating lyrium. Never used it myself. Wouldn’t mind checking out the armory down the street if you don’t need me.”

“See you for dinner,” Camris offered an arm to Dorian, “ready?”

“To watch you scare Orlesian’s into giving up their money?” Dorian took his arm, “always.”

***

“You were very impressive to watch today, Amatus,” Dorian spoke from the bed as Camris undressed to join him, “you would do well in the markets of Minrathous with that sort of bargaining.”

“I’ll remember that for when we’re living there,” Camris commented absentmindedly.

“Are you alright? You seem a million miles away.”

“Are you disappointed with how slowly things are progressing between us?”

“No,” Dorian looked at Camris in confusion, “should I be? Have I given you the impression that I am?”

“You commented this morning, about me using my mouth for other things. I was wondering if that was your way of asking for more.”

“Oh, no, it was just a comment. I would tell you if I was unhappy, Amatus.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Dorian held his arms out for Camris, smiling as he immediately joined Dorian on the bed and curled against him, “I was just being silly.”

“Tell me, if you start to feel like things are taking to long.”

“I will.”

“What were your relationships like before?”

“What relationships?”

“When you were in Tevinter.”

“There were no real relationships to speak of,” Dorian kissed the top of Camris’ head, “trysts may be a better word.”

“Okay, what were your trysts like?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Curious.”

“They were…short-lived, passionate, and ultimately heartbreaking. Like a firework, they would come on quickly, burn hot, and perish before you could really appreciate their shape. It was lonely in Tevinter. I had no shortage of men who wanted to sleep with me, but none of them would ever love me. To ask for such a thing resulted in being mocked.”

“Lots of sex, and no love?”

“Lots of sex and no love,” Dorian agreed, “it wasn’t even good sex most of the time. Rushed, off in some corner, or behind a bar. If you were lucky you might get a hotel room, but you would never hope to wake up next to them the next morning.”

“There was never anyone like you? Someone who wanted more?”

“Oh I’m sure there were, but they would have been told it wasn’t allowed, just like I was.”

“That’s very sad.”

“That’s Tevinter.”

“What would they make of you and I together?”

“Nothing good, Amatus.”

“Want to try anyway?”

“Very much.”

***

Josephine had been thrilled, as Dorian had expected, at Camris’ abilities in Orlais.

“I had no idea you were so skilled at negotiation, Inquisitor.”

“I have a few talents that you might be surprised by,” Camris smiled as Josephine read over the trade agreements, “but you gave me a budget, and I stuck with it.”

“Yes, you did!” Josephine flipped through the pages fast enough that Dorian wasn’t sure if she had the time to digest what she was reading.

“Now, apparently I need to hold court?”

“You do, yes, come with me to my office and we can go over your meetings for the day.”

“I’ll see you later, Amatus,” Dorian smiled sympathetically.

“I’ll miss you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek.

***

As it was, Dorian barely saw Camris for the next three days. Only fleeting glimpses as Josephine had him working all over the keep.

“Ser,” a messenger caught Dorian’s attention on the fourth day, “message for you.”

“From?”

“The Inquisitor.”

“Oh, alright then,” Dorian took the parchment.

_Dorian,_

_I miss you. I’ve managed to convince Josephine to let me finish earlier today so we can see each other. If you’re available, I’d like to have dinner with you in my quarters tonight._

_Love,_

_Cam_

Dorian stared at the letter for so long that the messenger cleared his throat to draw his attention back.

“Tell him I will meet him just after sundown,” Dorian folded the parchment, tucking it into his pocket.

“Yes, Ser.”

Dorian watched the messenger go, sparing a moment to wink at Mother Giselle before heading to his quarters to clean up for the evening.

***

Dorian could smell the slight scent of herbs as soon as he opened the door to Camris’ quarters. Elfroot and lavender, the combination that Camris’ often bathed with. Dorian smiled at the thought of Camris fussing over his appearance in preparation for their date and wondered if maybe he had attempted to wear some of the makeup that Dorian had left on his vanity.

Dorian jogged up the steps, eager to see Camris. He was also secretly glad that he had taken the time to wear some of his nicer clothes and trim his moustache.

The sight that was waiting for Dorian at the top of the steps stopped him in his tracks.

Camris was looking out the window of one of the balcony doors, the sunset turning his silhouette into a canvas of reds, oranges, and yellow. He was topless, with only a soft pair of linen pants sitting low across his hips, and his long hair, still damp, was in a braid down his back.

He was stunning.

“I wish,” Dorian spoke softly, “I had a way of capturing how you look right now.”

“Oh?” Camris didn’t turn around, but Dorian could see the reflection of his smile in the glass as he approached.

“You’re so beautiful, Amatus.”

Camris turned, and Dorian licked his lips as he admired the lean muscle across Camris’ stomach, and the deep red scars from here he had taken the hit for Dorian at the Dalish camp.

“I have missed you terribly.”

“Of course you have, I’m easy to miss.”

“That you are,” Camris closed the distance between them, placing a hand on Dorian’s back and pulling him in for a kiss.

Dorian reached for Camris, desperate to touch some of the lovely exposed skin. Running his hands over Camris’ chest before wrapping his arms around Camris’ shoulders.

There was a desperation to the way that Camris was kissing him, a heat and a need to it that Dorian hadn’t felt before. Eventually, Camris started moving him, using one hand on his hip and the other on his back to walk him backward toward the bed.

Dorian felt a thrill rush through him. This was different than their usual nights, he could feel it.

Camris tugged on the bottom of Dorian’s shirt, only pulling away from the kiss for long enough to pull the shirt over his head before he was kissing him again.

Within a minute or two, Camris’ hands were on his belt, making quick work of undoing it before releasing the ties to Dorian’s pants. Dorian was vaguely impressed that he had managed both while sucking on his bottom lip.

“Off,” Camris’ voice was almost a growl.

Dorian almost said something smart, made some comment telling Camris to undress him, but the look on Camris’ face stopped him. Dorian kicked off his boots, shimmying his pants down and off.

“Sit,” Camris pushed him against the bed.

“Sit?” Dorian did, but arched an eyebrow in confusion, unsure of Camris’ plans.

That was, until Camris fell to his knees beside the bed, kneeling between Dorian’s legs.

“ _Oh_ ,” Dorian breathed.

“I’ve never done this before,” Camris’ ran his hands over Dorian’s thighs and up, taking his cock in a firm grip and stroking him slowly as he spoke, “if I do something wrong, or there is something you prefer, let me know.”

“Are you sure-“ Dorian was cut off as Camris leaned forward, taking the head of his cock into his mouth and fluttering his tongue over the sensitive ridge, “oh _fuck_.”

It was obvious that Camris’ was not experienced in this, but what he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm. Dorian leaned back on his elbows to watch as Camris bobbed over him, whispering words of encouragement and moaning softly whenever Camris did something that felt particularly good.

Camris picked up quickly that Dorian reacted best when he used his mouth and hand together, marveling in the soft moans. Enjoying the way that Dorian carefully rocked up into his mouth. Camris’ was also _very_ aware that his own cock was hard and trapped under the waistband of his pants.

“Amatus,” Dorian warned, “I’m going to spend.”

Camris glanced up, arching his eyebrow at Dorian and increasing his speed.

“You’re sure?” Dorian grit his jaw, trying to hold back a moment longer to allow Camris’ to pull away if he wanted to.

“Mmhmm,” Camris hummed his agreement around Dorian’s cock, and sent him flying over the edge so quickly that Dorian dropped back against the bed and moaned.

Dorian’s back arched as he pushed up into the warmth of Camris’ mouth, reaching for Camris’ hand as it caressed his stomach.

“Easy,” Dorian gasped out as the sensation bordered on pain rather than pleasure.

Camris pulled away, kissing the inside of Dorian’s thigh before standing, untying his pants, and setting them to the side to relieve some of the pressure.

“ _Amatus_ ,” Dorian took a deep breath, “that was wonderful.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“I’d like to return the favor,” Dorian took a deep breath and sat up, “but I won’t survive kneeling. Can you move up the bed?”

Camris stretched out on the bed, spreading his legs for Dorian to move between them, “I’m rather pent up, I don’t expect to last long.”

“That’s fine,” Dorian kissed Camris’ stomach, “we have all night to build up our endurance.”

Camris was much more vocal than Dorian, groaning his name and whispering words of adoration, both in elven and common, as Dorian spoiled him.

“ _Ar lath ma,_ ah _fuck,_ Dorian,” Camris’ legs were trembling as he approached the edge, “so close.”

Dorian took as much of Camris’ cock into his mouth as he could, memorizing the way Camris shouted his name as he came.

Camris groaned as he relaxed, reaching for Dorian to come up the bed to cuddle with him.

“I think I just heard more elven from you in ten minutes than I’ve heard from you in the past three months.”

“Common is my second language,” Camris shrugged, “I tend to forget it when property distracted.”

“What a wonderful way to spend an evening,” Dorian kissed Camris’ cheek, “I’m glad you suggested we have dinner together.”

“That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for dinner,” Camris gestured to his desk where two platters of food sat, “I got distracted when I saw you.”

“I can be a good distraction.”

“The best.”

***

“As fun as this has been,” Dorian set his now empty glass aside, “I need to sleep.”

“Sleep here,” Camris both suggested and insisted, “I’ve barely seen you all week.”

“I’d be happy to.”

“I’ve had you a key made,” Camris waved to the small table on what had been established as Dorian’s side of the bed, “I’d like you to sleep here more often if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Are you asking me to move in, Amatus?”

Dorian had expected him to say no, truly. Pass it off as a joke.

“Yes,” Camris fed the fire, “we’ve been together for a while now, and I don’t like it when it’s four or five days that I don’t see you.”

“We’ve been together a while…” Dorian considered, “you think so?”

“Longest relationship I’ve ever had.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t like going without you, and I sleep better with you here.”

“I sleep better with you, too.”

“So?”

“I will consider it.”

“You’re welcome to keep your quarters as well, so if you’re sick of me you can leave for a night. I was just hoping to have you sleep with me more than you don’t.”

“After a performance like you gave me earlier, I have a hard time believing I could get sick of you,” Dorian joked.

“Speaking of which,” Camris walked over to the bed with a grin, “I have some ideas. Do you mind if I try again?”

“If this is the treatment I’m going to get, I’ll move in tomorrow.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fighting in this chapter, it might leave you feeling a little raw.
> 
> Sorry, I needed to add it, you know...plot...

Dorian had started to move his things in a few days later, and while he wasn’t certain that living together so soon was the best choice, it ended up working out beautifully.

Camris would stop Dorian from working so late into the evenings, and Dorian could rescue Camris from the war table if his work with Cullen and the others kept him past sunset.

Dorian loved it.

“What are you reading, Amatus?” Dorian asked from where he was lounging on the bed.

“A letter from my brother,” Camris waved the parchment, “it’s in elvhen, or I would let you read over my shoulder.”

Dorian smiled, Camris’ accent was thicker whenever he read anything in his native language, “anything interesting?”

“Arlan thinks they’re expecting their first child,” Camris scanned over the page, “he was asking if you knew anyone in Tevinter to spread the word to stop the slaver raids.”

“I’m afraid I don’t, it wasn’t something my family was involved in. They had slaves, certainly, but didn’t source them.”

“I assumed as much.”

“I could write to my father and ask?”

“Don’t trouble yourself, I can send a group of Inquisition scouts to keep watch. Harding mentioned having some that needed to spend some time in the wilderness for training.”

“You’re always working, my dear, you should come and relax on the bed with me.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Altus Pavus?”

“Always. Is it working?”

Camris smiled, setting down the letter and walking over to the bed, “you know, we’re leaving for the Winter Palace tomorrow.”

“I do know that. A very handsome man convinced me to go, despite my better judgement.”

“It would be terrible if we arrived tired.”

“You’re right, there is nothing more dangerous than an Orlesian palace. We better start with the seduction right away.”

Camris pounced, landing over Dorian and burying his face against Dorian’s neck, rubbing his nose against the sensitive skin until Dorian was laughing and trying to get away.

“Mercy, Amatus, mercy.”

“No mercy in the Inquisition,” Camris’ fingers found Dorian’s sides, digging in as Dorian tried and failed to struggle from Camris’ grasp.

“Help,” Dorian called out lamely between fits of laughter, “I’m being attacked.”

Camris stopped, sitting upright as he straddled Dorian, his hair a mess as he smiled down as Dorian tried to catch his breath.

“You are,” Dorian panted, “one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen in my life, even if you insist on tickling me.”

“You love me.”

“Maker help me, I do.”

“Dorian?”

“Yes?”

“Why are you wearing pants?”

“I have no idea, let me remedy that for you.”

***

The Winter Palace had gone with little in the way of disturbance, all things being considered. Dorian glanced around the ballroom and frowned, Camris nowhere to be seen.

“He’s on the balcony,” Cassandra supplied, “speaking with Morrigan.”

“I see,” Dorian sighed, “pretty woman that she is.”

“You have no fear of that, Dorian,” Cassandra reassured him, “Camris is loyal to you.”

“Let us hope so.”

“The door is open, if you’re feeling concerned go and check.”

Dorian considered for a moment before walking toward the balcony, letting out a breath as he saw Morrigan walking toward him, Camris leaning against the banister outside.

“There was an ancient dowager looking for you. Said she had twelve daughters. I told her you’d left already. You can thank me later, or now. But you look lost in thought. Something on your mind?”

Camris looked exhausted, “tonight was very long.”

“You won. You saved the day. Literally, the day is saved. You should be celebrating. Enjoy yourself while you can. What you need is a distraction. Would you care to dance?”

“I was hoping you’d ask,” Camris took Dorian’s hand, letting him lead.

“Thank goodness one of us has a little initiative.”

Camris laughed, “I’m exhausted from all of my initiatives.”

“I’d imagine so,” Dorian noticed, not for the first time, the bags under Camris’ eyes, “we’ve put an awful lot of pressure on you, Amatus.”

“Yes, well, I’ve always been good at getting things done.”

“That you are,” Dorian dipped Camris low, kissing him gently.

“Should we be doing this?” Camris glanced over his shoulder as Dorian continued their dance, “your mother’s friend is here.”

“I wrote home last week,” Dorian spoke softly, “and told them we were together.”

“Did you?” Camris stopped their dance, “what did they say?”

“Nothing yet, but it is a long way to Tevinter. Still, I refuse to hide you. I’m nervous, yes, but I care for you and I don’t care if the entire Orlesian court knows it.”

“Do you think,” Camris glanced into the ballroom, “your father would be impressed if you were seen with Celine?”

“I would think so,” Dorian arched an eyebrow at Camris, “but I have no reason to speak with her.”

“Come on,” Camris offered Dorian his arm, “follow me.”

Dorian took Camris’ arm and scanned the room as they entered, “there’s mother's friend now, she’s practically seething, the witch.”

Camris smirked, parting the crowd easily and making her way to Celine’s ladies in waiting.

“Oh, Inquisitor!” there was a small bow, “to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I was wondering if I might speak with Celine and Briala for a moment? I would like to introduce them to someone.”

“Let us see if they are available.”

“Amatus,” Dorian whispered to Camris as they walked away, “what are you doing?”

“Making waves,” Camris answered equally quietly, “they’ll be speaking about you at home for _months_.”

“Inquisitor,” Celine’s smooth voice greeted them, “my thanks again for your protection tonight.”

“It was my pleasure,” Camris bowed, looking all the part as if he had been working the Orlesian court for years, “I would like to introduce you to Altus Dorian Pavus of the Circle of Vyrantium, son of Lord Magister Halward Pavus, my partner.”

“I was unaware you had a romantic partner, Inquisitor,” Celine smiled at Dorian, “you are quite far from home, Lord Pavus.”

“Indeed, but I must say that your Palace reminds me greatly of home.”

“Oh, is the architecture similar?”

“No, the backstabbing is, though.”

Celine laughed, a bright sound like silver bells that drew the attention of those around them, “the risks of nobility.”

“Certainly,” Dorian agreed, “I was poisoned at my cousin's wedding, once.”

“This is my fifth assassination attempt,” Celine commiserated.

“Only fifth? Not to worry your Highness, there is still time.”

***

“She was _seething_ ,” Dorian beamed as they returned to their provided quarters for the night, “did you see her? She was going to explode with envy.”

“I wasn’t sure which woman you were speaking of, you never introduced us, but I’ll take your word for it,” Camris undid his jacket, setting it aside, “I’m pleased you made a new friend with Celine though, it will help when you go back home.”

“Was this a political move?” Dorian glanced at Camris in surprise, “you were making an ally for me?”

“If I have all of this power and influence it might as well be used for good,” Camris finished undressing, sitting at the small vanity to remove the makeup Dorian had put on him for the occasion.”

“I didn’t realize,” Dorian felt foolish, “I assumed that you were just trying to embarrass the witch who kept staring at me.”

“Added benefit,” Camris shrugged.

“You don’t need to use your power to help me, Amatus.”

“Well it certainly doesn’t help me,” Camris scrubbed at the eyeliner, “I’m a Dalish elf. I have no need for any of the benefits that come from the Inquisition. I’m just here because of chance, not skill.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Dorian walked over to Camris, taking the cloth from his hand and helping remove the smudged makeup, “you won over the entire court tonight, by yourself. That’s not a small accomplishment, Amatus.”

“You have to be nice to me, you love me.”

“With my whole heart.”

***

“I have a problem,” Dorian announced as he found Bull and Varric drinking in the Herald’s Rest a week after their return from the Winter Palace, quickly scanning the room to make sure Camris wasn’t there.”

“Use more lube, generally fixes it.”

“A _serious_ problem.”

“What’s up, Sparkler?”

“You both know I intend on going back to Tevinter, once this is over?”

“Yeah, you want to change it up, right?”

“That’s right,” Dorian frowned, sitting heavily, “Camris can’t come with me.”

“Why not? Did the clan call him back?”

“No, it’s just…I can’t take him. He’ll do what he did at the Winter Palace, he’ll charm them and carry all of the work himself.”

“I don’t see the problem,” Bull looked at Varric with confusion.

“The change in Tevinter, if it is to stay changed, it must come from one of their own,” Dorian groaned, “if not, it won’t stick. They’ll behave for a hundred years, maybe two, and then go back to the way they were. If the change is developed slowly, from someone they respect and has a history within Minrathous, we might see a permanent move for the betterment of Tevinter. This is something that might need generations of a family working together over years, not one charming man and a few months.”

“Why can’t you just work with him?”

“With his position of power? They’re likely to ignore me altogether.”

“Dorian,” Varric shook his head, “think about what you’re saying. You’ve found this great guy, someone willing to help you with your homeland and all of its bullshit, and you’re telling me that at the end of this shit with Corypheus that you’re going to go back home to Tevinter and _leave him here?_ ”

Dorian sighed, “yes. I must.”

“That’s news to me.”

Camris’ voice was cold and cutting. Dorian felt his skin come up in goosebumps as he turned and found Camris standing on the stairs, arms crossed.

“Amatus-“

“Don’t.” Camris’ eyes welled with tears and Dorian launched himself to standing, “you don’t get to call me that.”

“Let me explain-“

Camris took off like a shot, bounding up the stairs so quickly Dorian didn’t bother to chase after him.

“Fasta vass, what have I done.”

“Ruined the best thing that ever happened to you,” Varric said confidently, “you better go and find him.”

Dorian nodded, starting up the steps.

***

He couldn’t find him.

The sun started to set and Dorian had searched everywhere, doubling back to their quarters several times and finding it empty.

“Maybe he went for a walk?” Varric suggested, “he walked in on the man that the cares about saying he was going to leave him, he might need to clear his head.”

“I didn’t mean leave the relationship,” Dorian looked over the ramparts, “I would come back to see him.”

“How would that be fair to Cam?” Varric crossed his arms and leaned against the stone, “you get to go and be the hero and he has to read about it in letters. Maybe he wants kids, maybe he wants an actual home, if you two are in a relationship and you disappear to Tevinter you’re taking away his chance at either of those.”

Dorian sighed, “I didn’t even say I was going to do it for certain. It was just something that has been bothering me since we left Orlais.”

“Why didn’t you talk to him about it? Tell him that you’re worried he will take the weight of Tevinter onto his shoulders and it was something that you wanted to do yourself?”

“Because since we’ve been together he hasn’t let me endure _any_ hardships alone.”

“Well, yeah, that’s because it’s a partnership. He’s meant to help.”

“I need to speak with him,” the urgency built up in Dorian’s chest, his heart hammering uncomfortably.

“He needs time,” Cole’s voice made Dorian jump, “his hurt is so big it’s all he can feel. I tried to help, but he wanted to remember.”

***

It had been three days and Dorian still hadn’t seen Camris.

“You need to eat, Sparkler.”

“I’m not hungry.”

There was a commotion at the door, and Dorian felt his face flush as Cyrel walked into the great hall, Cassandra beside him.

Cyrel glanced over the room, locking eyes with Dorian and leveling a glare in his direction.

“The family knows then,” Varric pat Dorian on the back, “and they called in reinforcements.”

“Dorian,” Cyrel greeted as he walked over, “may I have a moment of your time?”

“Do you know where Camris is?”

“I do, I spent last night camping with him.”

“Is he alright?”

“No,” Cyrel glanced around the busy room, “but this is not the place. Do you have somewhere private we can speak?”

“Yes,” Dorian stood on unsteady legs, “this way.”

Dorian led Cyrel to Camris’ quarters. Dorian had slept there each night hoping Camris would return but had woken up alone each morning.

Cyrel didn’t speak again until they were in the standing in the bedroom. Dorian sat heavily on the couch as Cyrel walked the length of the room, taking in the various decorations they had amassed during their time together.

“Tell me what happened?”

“I’m sure Camris told you.”

“Camris told me his side of the situation. Now I would like to hear yours.”

“Why?”

“It is one part of my job as First of my clan,” Cyrel sat next to Dorian on the couch, “I was on my way to visit Cassandra, anyway, but when I received a note that you had left my brother I managed to shorten the travel and arrive a day early.”

“I haven’t left Camris,” Dorian snapped, “he’s the one that ran away from me. What did he tell you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I want _you_ to tell me what happened.”

“Why?”

“There are three sides to every story, Lethalin. His side, your side, and the truth. I’ve heard his side, and now I wish to hear yours. From that, I will take a look at the whole situation and hopefully help you find a new truth.”

“Why would you help me?”

“I believe that you love my brother,” Cyrel kept eye contact with Dorian as he spoke, “and I believe this is a misunderstanding. I also know that you will lose each other if this is not remedied.”

Dorian sighed, “what do you know of my homeland?”

“Very little.”

“I should start from be beginning, then.”

***

“I love Camris,” Dorian concluded as he refilled Cyrel’s teacup, “I love him more than anything, but he can’t change Tevinter for me. This is something I need to do. I was never planning on ending the relationship, only planning on going home and starting the wheels in motion.”

“I see,” Cyrel sipped on his tea as he considered the information.

“What do I do now?” Dorian sighed, “he won’t even speak with me.”

“Camris is remarkably hurt. He feels as if you’ve been planning on leaving him for a while, and he was the last to find out. He’s also incredibly embarrassed to have walked in on you discussing leaving him with two of his closest friends. In his hurt, he has managed to spin all sorts of tales in his mind that you were using him to speak with the Empress.”

“That’s not true.”

“No, now that I’ve spoken with you I don’t think it is.”

“How am I meant to fix this, Cyrel?” Dorian felt the tears spring to his eyes so suddenly he couldn’t hold them back, “I can’t lose him.”

Cyrel pulled Dorian into a hug. It took Dorian by surprise, and for a moment the shock of Cyrel’s arms around him calmed the tears. That was until he caught the faint smell of elfroot and lavender, and the wave of loss hit him so strongly he was unable to do anything but sob.

“It will be alright, Dorian. Now that I understand what happened we can speak about this together. In a moment I will go and get Camris, and the three of us will sit down and discuss what happened.”

***

Dorian paced the room as he waited for Cyrel and Camris, restless. Faintly, he could hear the incoming voices, speaking with each other in elven.

The sight of Camris’ stopped Dorian short. He looked exhausted, with deep bruises under his eyes which were swollen from crying.

“Oh, Amatus.”

Camris winced, “please don’t call me that.”

“You are my Amatus,” Dorian said firmly, “I know what you heard, but that doesn’t change that I love you.”

“Do you?”

“Enough,” Cyrel stood between them, “Dorian, please sit on the bed, Camris, on the couch.”

Dorian almost protested, but watching as Camris quietly sat on the couch, he decided to do as he was told.

“I am something in the way of a mediator, Dorian. I know my brother explained there is little divorce in the Dalish, this is one of the reasons why.” Cyrel sat on the floor, “Camris, you have five minutes to explain your side. Dorian, you’re not to interrupt, even if you disagree. Let him say his side, then you can say yours.”

Camris looked away, fixing his eye out the window, fresh tears running down his face.

“Amatus.”

“No,” Cyrel held his hand up, “give him a moment.”

“You told me that you loved me,” Camris’ voice cracked and he paused, taking a breath, “and that you wanted me to come with you. We’ve spent months now discussing that we would go together to Tevinter when this was over, even before we were together. Now we’re together, and you say you love me, and you change your mind. Not only do you change your mind, you don’t even _tell me_. I have to walk into the conversation while you tell two of my closest friends that you don’t want me anymore.”

Camris wiped at the tears with the back of his hand, “I don’t even know what I _did_. I’ve been trying to figure it out. Lack of sex, lack of knowledge on Tevinter, I don’t know Tevene, I’m not important enough to be seen with someone of your status.”

There was another shuddering breath, “I don’t know why I’m not enough for you to want me anymore. I guess I should have seen it coming.”

Cyrel waited for a moment, giving Camris time to continue before turning to Dorian, “alright, Dorian, your turn. Don’t speak about what Camris just said, we’ll get to that. Right now, just discuss what has led to this moment.”

“First, and most importantly, I need to say that I _do_ love you, Amatus. Desperately. Because I love you, I spend a lot of time watching you, and over the past few months, I’ve seen the way the Inquisition has drained you, all of the exhausting nights where you can do nothing but curl up in bed next to me. I’ve also seen the way that you’ve risen to the occasion, and the other week I watched you, a Dalish Elf, win the favor of the Empress of Orlais.”

Dorian leaned forward, trying to will Camris to understand, “You haven’t spent much time in Orlais, Amatus, but what you did was just as much a miracle as you stepping from the Fade with that mark on your hand. Not only that, it seemed easy for you. You won over and determined the entire fate of an Empire in _five hours_. I have no doubt that Tevinter would bend to your will, Amatus. You would have them writing new laws within a month, but these changes, they need to come from _me._ They need to see their own countrymen show them the error of their way and see how the changes could be implemented within the life they have been accustomed to. You would win them over, but I could start a real _change_.”

“You’re also remarkably kind-hearted,” Dorian continued, “and I know how much it has pained me to watch you endure what you have over the last few months. I can’t picture you sitting back and letting me struggle on my own. I was not for one second suggesting the end of our relationship, Amatus, only that I return home for a time by myself.”

“Alright,” Cyrel stood and walked to the fireplace, swinging the kettle into the flame, “both of you take a moment to consider what was just said and we’ll continue.”

Camris sat quietly, looking out the window as Cyrel prepared the tea. While Camris looked out the window, Dorian looked at Camris.

He took a moment to consider if he could actually stand to wake up every morning to a bed without Camris in it. If he could go to sleep at night without Camris pulling him into his arms, listening to the steady heartbeat under his ear.

Dorian’s thoughts were interrupted as Cyrel passed him a cup of tea, giving him a small smile of reassurance before walking to Camris and giving him a cup as well.

“Now you understand what brought us here,” Cyrel sat on the floor again, “Camris, what did you think of what Dorian said?”

“I would sit in your home in Tevinter and never say a word to anyone if it meant you would take me with you. I have no interest in your politics, _emma lath_ , only your happiness. I didn’t want to go to Tevinter to change your ways, I wanted to go to be with you. You have one thing wrong, though. I don’t do this by myself, there is no magic to my abilities. I have a number of smarter and more skilled people around me who coach me through these things. I didn’t win over Orlais singlehandedly. I spent much of the night bouncing between Leliana, Cassandra, Cullen, Bull, and _you_ , to ensure the night went to plan.”

“Dorian?”

“First of all,” Dorian considered Camris’ first points, “our sex is _perfect_ just as it is, so let me reassure you there. I don’t care that you don’t know Tevene or Tevinter's long and boring history. I don’t know Elven nor the history of the Dalish, it would be unfair of me to hold you to that standard.”

“I suppose I was feeling inadequate after your performance at the Winter Palace. I’m not sure that I can change Tevinter at all, never mind as successfully as you managed in Orlais. I didn’t mean for you to hear me speaking with Bull and Varric. I was trying to figure out what to do, and I was going to them for guidance.”

“It sounded like your mind was made up.”

“Camris, let Dorian speak.”

“No, not made up, Amatus, in crisis.”

“How can you love someone and want to leave them?”

“Camris,” Cyrel leveled a pointed look at him, “it is Dorian’s turn to speak.”

Camris sighed but nodded and took a sip of his tea.

“I don’t know that I could leave you, Amatus. The past three days have been a nightmare.”

“This is a bigger problem than I can resolve in one day,” Cyrel looked between them, “but this is something that you need to discuss. Camris, you want this relationship, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Then behave like an adult and speak with your _vhenan_. Dorian, you’d do well not to speak with others on matters that pertain to Camris, especially when you’re not certain what you’re saying is how you truly feel. A lot of heartaches could have been avoided if you had spoken with Camris directly.”

“I know.”

“Is there anything else you would like to say while I’m still here to be the voice of reason?”

“No, I think I need to speak with Camris.”

“Go,” Camris waved toward the door, “Cassandra has been dying to see you, and I’ve already taken enough of your time.”

“I will be here, Lethalin, if you need me,” Cyrel stood, “both of you.”

“Thank you,” Dorian set his cup aside, watching as Cyrel walked over to Camris and kissed him on the forehead before walking down the steps and from their quarters.

The silence was oppressive, and Dorian had to swallow past the anxiety bubbling in his chest.

After a minute had passed, Camris looked at him, studying him with a tear-streaked face. Dorian wanted to hold him so badly his arms trembled as he fought the urge to reach for him.

Camris stood, taking a cautious step toward Dorian, then another until he stopped in front of him where he sat on the bed. Dorian looked up to meet Camris’ warm yellow eyes and imagined what it might be like to not get to see them again.

“I’m sorry,” Dorian whispered, “Amatus, I’m so sorry.”

Camris cupped Dorian’s face, wiping the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs, which did nothing to stop them from falling. Dorian took a shuddering breath as he forced himself to feel what it would be like without Camris.

Dorian closed his eyes as the feeling of loneliness washed over him, the sense of isolation.

“What are you thinking about, Vhenan?”

“How I could have ever been so foolish to think I could live without you.”

Camris sighed, “a question I would like answered as well. You had me believing what I always felt in my Clan, that I wasn’t enough for you, that you were ashamed to take me back to Tevinter.”

“Never,” Dorian swore, “ _never_. I’m ashamed of myself if anything. You make this all look so easy, and I fled from my homeland because I was scared to stand up for who I am.”

“You fled from your homeland because your father abused you, it’s quite different.”

“Whatever the reason, we’ve been discussing making a life _together_. Whatever that might look like, Cyrel was right when he said it was something we needed to discuss.”

“He’s a smart man.”

“Will you still have me?”

Camris was silent, and for a moment Dorian thought that this was the end of it.

“Ma sa’lath,” Camris spoke softly, “of course I’ll still have you. _Ar lath ma_.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It means I love you,” Camris pulled Dorian into his arms, “even when you hurt me.”

“You love me?”

“Of course I do,” Camris let out a self-deprecating chuckle, “do you think I would have been such a mess if I didn’t?”

“I love you, too.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank my therapist, Sharon, for some of the advice that appears in this chapter. 
> 
> I'm closer to being a functional adult thanks to you.

Dorian wrapped his arms around Camris, pressing his ear against the solid wall of his chest to listen to the steady drum of Camris’ heart.

“Where have you been?”

“Around Skyhold. I slept in Varric’s room the first night, on Cullen’s roof the second when you almost found me, and I camped just outside of the gates with Cyrel last night.”

“Varric told me that he hadn’t seen you.”

“Varric saw me at my worst, I think he just wanted to protect me.”

Dorian sighed, “what a mess I’ve made of things.”

Camris didn’t disagree, but held Dorian close anyway, carding his fingers through Dorian’s hair.

“I suppose you need to get back to work, considering you’ve been away.”

“I was still working, just out of sight from you.”

“Why didn’t you come and speak with me?”

“I could ask the same of you, Vhenan, but to answer your question, I was hurt and embarrassed. My friends knew you were going to leave me before I did, it was humiliating. I thought about confronting you, yelling, and screaming. I knew I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I said something I couldn’t take back so I just stayed out of your way while I tried to accept that you wanted to go.”

Dorian felt a drip on his head and glanced up to find fresh tears on Camris’ face, “oh Amatus, no more tears for me.”

“Sorry,” Camris waved over his face, “it’s barely stopped. My eyes are sore from it all.”

“Sit,” Dorian instructed, “I can help.”

Dorian walked over to the vanity and found a small cloth, wetting it with the nearby water jug before casting a light ice spell on it. Glancing over, Dorian watched Camris pull his shirt over is his head and wipe at his face with it.

“Here,” Dorian folded the cloth into a mask and handed it to Camris, “hold this over your eyes and I’ll brush the mess that is your hair.”

“Can’t blame me for that, my brush was here.”

Dorian sat behind Camris on the bed, sectioning his hair and slowly starting to brush the knots from it, “is the ice helping?”

“Yes, thank you.”

They sat in silence for a while, Dorian methodically brushing through the knots in Camris’ hair, refreshing the ice spell as it started to melt.

“You don’t have to stay, if you want to go,” Camris’ voice was quiet, bur Dorian could tell there were fresh tears behind the cloth, “don’t abandon your dreams because of this. If you want to go to Tevinter and leave me here, I won’t like it, but I’ll support you. You don’t need to stay out of pity.”

“Amatus,” Dorian set the brush aside, wrapping himself around Camris and resting his chin on his shoulder, “I think I would have gotten four feet from that front gate and turned right back around. There is no love waiting for me in Tevinter, and I’m not sure that I could have left the love of my life even if I miss my homeland.”

Camris let out a shuddering breath and Dorian held him tighter, “I love you, Amatus. Please believe me.”

Camris just nodded, one of his hands finding Dorian’s and linking their fingers together.

“I need to go back to Tevinter, but it won’t be home unless you’re with me. Together, or not at all, alright?”

“Alright.”

“Come, let’s get undressed and get into bed for a while. You must be exhausted.”

Camris pulled the cloth away from his eyes, some of the redness gone, “it’s the middle of the day, Vhenan.”

“That’s what curtains are for, Inquisitor,” Dorian climbed off the bed, walking along the windows and closing the curtains until the room was darker, looking back to Camris who was still sitting on the bed, dressed, “Amatus, you’re not wearing your boots in our bed, get undressed.”

“You first.”

“Alright,” Dorian undressed, pulling back the sheets and getting into bed, “there, now your man is nude and waiting for you.”

Camris seemed hesitant, but followed suit and got into the bed, turning on his side to face Dorian, “now what?”

“We rest,” Dorian yawned, “I know I couldn’t sleep without you; I can’t imagine you were sleeping without me.”

“Not really, no.”

“So we take a nap, and move on from there.”

“Alright.”

Dorian moved forward, kissing Camris gently. A sound like a whine came from Camris’ chest, something deep and heartbroken as he wrapped his arm over Dorian’s waist and held him close.

“Camris,” Dorian wiped a tear from his cheek, “all of these tears for me?”

Camris hid his face against Dorian’s neck, clinging to him tightly.

“Rest,” Dorian whispered, “it’ll be better when you wake up.”

***

Camris slept for most of the morning, excusing himself in the early afternoon to tend to some work and introduce his brother to the inner circle.

Dorian frowned at the book he was reading, starting the page for the third time and attempting to concentrate.

“It seems as if that book has done you a great disservice, Lethalin.”

Dorian glanced up at the sound of Cyrel’s voice, “why do you say that?”

“It must have, considering how you’re glaring at it.”

“I can’t concentrate,” Dorian sighed, tossing the book to the side, “this is my first _real_ relationship, not to mention my first serious fight in a real relationship. I’ve apologized, I took care of him all morning, and every time I catch sight of him today, he looks as if I’m one step out the door.”

“It’s a fresh hurt, Dorian. Give him some time to heal from it.”

“You must think I’m terrible,” Dorian frowned, “for what I put him through.”

“I think you’re Human, and to be Human is to make mistakes. Sometimes they’re little mistakes, and sometimes they’re like this. I’m not upset with you, just upset that Camris, yet again, feels undeserving of love. I did want to show you something though if you had some time.”

“Sure,” Dorian scribbled a note for Camris, leaving it on top of his books where it was easily found, “lead the way.”

Cyrel led Dorian out of Skyhold and into the courtyard, looking around the people milling about, “I still can’t believe all of this belongs to my little brother.”

“If you want to split hairs, it belongs to the Chantry, but it wouldn’t be anything without Camris leading it.”

“I get the impression that he is critical to most of the people here. When he introduced me they all seemed very concerned about his wellbeing over the past few days.”

“Yet another thing they will be able to use against me here.”

“Most don’t know, other than Varric and Bull. Cassandra knows because I told her, but other than that everyone thinks I’m here because of an emergency with the Clan. Camris was very careful to ensure they wouldn’t blame you for anything.”

“He is a saint, a literal saint,” Dorian felt tension he hasn’t realized he was carrying drop from his shoulders, “I will never deserve him.”

“On that point we are agreed. I don’t think anyone will be able to love Camris at the same level that he can love. He always told me that when he found his Vhenan that he would give everything to them, and I believe him.”

“Today was the first day that he told me that he loved me.”

“I think he was unsure until he lost you.”

“Where are we going?”

“To see Blackwall, I had him lay some things out for us.”

Dorian was pleased to find the barn empty and followed Cyrel over to the desk where Blackwall was usually working on various projects.

“My father,” Cyrel paused, “our father, died when Camris was very young. So far as I know, Camris has no memories of him, but he was a wise man. He was one of the best hunters in our clan, he was funny and fair but could be a fierce fighter when he needed to be. Camris is so much like him.”

“I’ve heard Camris looks like him.”

“Very much,” Cyrel nodded, “He loved my mother like she was the sun, and they were very happy together. I remember asking him how they were always so content together because I had never seen them fight. While we spoke, he gave me a piece of advice, something I would like to share with you now if you’ll humor me. Camris tells me that your father is terrible and that you divorce for fun in Tevinter. Given that you’re courting someone Dalish, I think this might help.”

“I would be happy to hear it.”

Cyrel gestured to a small piece of wood on the table, next to it sat a hammer and nail, “would you please hammer the nail part of the way into that wood.”

“Why?”

“It’s a demonstration, you’ll understand in a minute.”

Dorian gave Cyrel a skeptical look, but picked up the nail and hammered it into the wood.

“Lovely, now, remove the nail.”

It took Dorian a minute, but he managed to wiggle it free.

“Okay, now, apologize to the wood.”

“What?”

“I know, it sounds stupid, but it’s important.”

“I’m sorry?” Dorian looked at the wood quizzically.

“Is the hole gone?”

“Um, no…”

Cyrel watched Dorian for a minute, and when he realized that he didn’t understand he continued, “you did something to hurt that wood. It didn’t ask for the hammer, or the nail, or the resulting hole that it left behind once you removed it and apologized, but there is still a hole. Your actions put that hole there, and your words can’t remove it. You hurt Camris’ feelings the other day, Dorian. You’ve removed the worry and assured him that you won’t leave him behind, and you’ve apologized…”

“But the hole is still there.”

“But the hole is still there,” Cyrel agreed, taking the wood from Dorian and dropping it into a nearby bucket of water, “words are like a hammer, Dorian. How they change the world can be for better or for worse, but they always leave a mark.”

“And there is always a hole left behind.”

“Not always,” Cyrel pulled the wood from the bucket, now saturated with water, and pressed his thumb over the hole. Dorian watched the steam come from the wood as Cyrel used a fire spell to rapidly heat it. It took a minute, but when he moved his thumb the hole was little more than a scar.

“Some cultures put broken china back together with gold, and wood can be mended with steam, not all broken things stay broken, but a big enough hurt can leave a scar. Golden or otherwise, you always remember how you got a scar.”

Dorian took the block from Cyrel, tracing the small dent that had been left behind.

“My father always used to tell me, _be careful how you wield your hammer, Cyrel, some things can’t be put back together_. I always thought it was strange, given that I seldom had a hammer in my hand, but it made sense after I lost him. Words are a strange thing, when you love someone, you should always be careful how you use them. My parents were together for some time, and I never heard my father say anything to my mother impulsively in an argument. He also never announced major decisions without considering her, first.”

“He didn’t want to leave a scar.”

“Or shatter what they had,” Cyrel nodded.

“This is all new to me,” Dorian tucked the wood into his pocket, it was small, and it would serve as a good reminder.

“A lot of the issues sound like culture shock.”

“And yet Camris handles it all so well.”

“Camris has read, and re-read, every book on Tevinter that he could find since you’ve been together, I know because he sends them to me once he’s finished with them.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I like to read,” Camris’ voice made them both jump and for the first time all day, he smiled, “Dorian, you’re easy to sneak up on, but Cyrel, that’s a first.”

“You must be getting better at your stealth,” Cyrel held his arm out, and Camris immediately walked over, wrapping an arm around his brother’s waist, “or I was distracted.”

“Cassandra is looking for you. She asked me if it was alright if you slept in her quarters with her, so sweet.”

“I trust you said yes.”

“I said it was fine, but I would be disappointed if I heard that you two slept. She hit me, but it was worth it.”

Cyrel rolled his eyes, “thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome,” Camris glanced at Dorian and his smile faltered slightly, “what are you two up to?”

“Speaking about your father and his happy marriage.”

“Ah, trying to marry me off, Cyrel?”

“It would be nice to know that you were taken care of, with us being so far apart. Arlan has Rilana, I have my clan and now Cassandra. What about you?”

“I have Dorian, and literally an _entire castle_ ,” Camris reassured Cyrel, “I’m okay.”

“My baby brother, the Inquisitor.”

***

“I know I slept all morning, but I’m exhausted,” Camris spoke softly to Dorian after dinner had been finished, “I’m going to bed.”

“I’ll come with you,” Dorian stood, offering his hand to Camris who took it with a reassuring squeeze.

“Love birds off to bed?” Varric asked, studying Camris’ expression.

“We are,” Camris gave Varric a small nod, and Dorian felt as if an entire conversation had taken place with no words at all, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“He gentle with our Inquisitor, Sparkler, we need him back in one piece tomorrow.”

“I’ll do my best,” Dorian led the way to their quarters, holding Camris’ hand firmly until they closed the first door behind them.

“Are you alright?”

“After everything I’ve put you through over the past few days, you’re asking _me_?”

“Yes, I’m asking you,” Camris stopped Dorian before he walked further into the room, “there are two sides to this, Vhenan.”

Dorian sighed, almost shrinking in on himself, “I almost ruined the best thing that ever happened to me because I feel inadequate in comparison. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of myself for hurting you. I’m scared that you’ll wake up tomorrow and decide I’m not worth the trouble.”

“Vhenan, I only left the other day because I thought our relationship was over. If you’re willing to actually speak with me about issues and not just make the decisions for both of us then I’m not going anywhere. You might be trouble, but the Inquisition should go to show you that I don’t run from a little trouble.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

“I could, but I don’t think we’re in the position for marriage right now, we both need time to get our footing back.”

“Marriage?”

“Yes, you know, the thing you do with your partner?”

“I know what marriage is, Amatus, I’m asking if you would still consider it with _me_.”

“Why not?”

Dorian stared dumbfounded, “even after all that?”

“Are you going to leave me here and disappear to Tevinter without me or discussing it with me first?”

“No.”

“Then yes, even after all that.”

Dorian reached for Camris, pulling him into a hug, closing his eyes as he breathed in the reassuring smell of elfroot and lavender.

“I love you, ma Vhenan,” Camris whispered in Dorian’s ear, “I was so upset to lose you, isn’t it obvious I’ll be here for as long as you will keep me?”

“Can we get into bed?” Dorian’s voice trembled for a minute, “I’d like to hold you.”

“Of course,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “let me get the fire ready.”

Watching Camris prepare a fire what just one of many ways that Dorian felt their cultural differences. It would have unheard of in Tevinter for a Magister or anyone in their family to light their own fire. In thinking about it, Dorian could not think of a time when he entered a room that there wasn’t a servant following in behind him to light the candles and fireplace. In hindsight, it was worse when he thought of it, knowing that he could have lit the fire and the candles with a wave of his hand.

Camris made an art of it, organizing the wood just so and building a small bundle of heat in his hands with various kindling and fibers until the entire room was bathed in heat.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?” Camris was preparing the small bundle of fibers on the edge of the hearth.

“Light a fire.”

Camris paused, glancing over his shoulder at Dorian, “would you like me to teach you?”

Dorian almost laughed off the idea, but after a moment of consideration agreed, “it might be worth knowing.”

“Well we don’t all have magic,” Camris joked as he moved to the side to give Dorian space to see, “but I manage alright.”

It was far more difficult than Dorian had thought, and after the fourth attempt at failing to light the small bundle with the flint he let out a sigh of frustration.

“Relax,” Camris smiled, “do you think I managed my first time? It takes practice. You don’t need to use the flint at all, why don’t you just do it with magic?”

“You don’t do it with magic and you manage just fine.”

“If magic was an option to me, I would absolutely do it with magic. Just remember like anything, you need to show some patience. Fires take time to spread.”

Camris took the flint from Dorian, striking it once and catching the spark in the small pile of fibers and wool. Picking it up, he held it in his hands and gently blew on it until the ember turned into a small flame.

“Now, and you do this quickly or it will go out and you’ll burn your hands, you put it against the smallest wood and blow,” Camris swiftly tucked it into the fireplace and leaned forward to blow on it until the fire caught, the sound of crackling wood filling their room.

Dorian frowned, “I’ll do better next time.”

“Unless you have some secret life goal to light a fire without magic, I’m happy to do it.”

“I want to be able to do it, too. It shouldn’t be only your responsibility to keep the room warm.”

“Then light it with magic.”

“That’s not how you do it.”

“Dorian,” Camris looked at him quizzically, “what’s this about?”

“Tevinter has almost ruined everything for me,” Dorian looked at his hands as he spoke, “my education was warped by my mentor, and home-life destroyed by my father, and even now, I almost lost you because of, well, my feelings for my homeland.”

“What does that have to do with lighting a fire?”

“The Dalish are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your Clan and family are welcoming and supportive, the Inquisition has supported my research, and you,” Dorian tried to find the words, “are everything to me.”

“You don’t have to pick, we can have a balance of both. You can love Tevinter and value the Dalish culture. You can go to Tevinter and have a Dalish partner. Our household might just be a little different because we won’t have servants, that’s all.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It is easy, Vhenan, you just show your people the change you want to see. When they see that we are perfectly happy together even though we live differently to those around us others might be motivated to give it a try. You’re not the only person in Tevinter who wants change, Dorian. You’re just the loudest.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“If I’m not, we’ll figure something else out.”

“Together?”

“Together.”

***

Dorian turned to face Camris as they got into bed, brushing some of his hair from his face, “I’m glad I didn’t lose you.”

“Me too.”

“I love you, very much.”

“And I love you.”

“The thought of not seeing your beautiful face each night,” Dorian wrapped his arm over Camris’ hip, pulling him closer, “a nightmare.”

Camris kissed him, a sweet kiss full of longing. It felt like a reunion, and Dorian felt Camris moan softly against his lips.

 _I’m a fool_ , Dorian brushed his tongue against Camris’ lip, smiling as Camris immediately opened to him, _Maker take Tevinter, this is home_.

“I can hear you thinking,” Camris whispered against Dorian’s lips, “am I not distracting enough for that brilliant mind?”

“You are the best distraction.”

“Maybe you need something else to think about,” Camris took Dorian’s hand moving it from his hip to the curve of his backside.

Everything stopped, and Dorian felt the breath rush from his lungs at the implication. In their time together they had done many things, but they had never done _that_.

Dorian forced himself to breathe, pulling back to gauge Camris’ expression.

He was nervous, Dorian could read it across his face. Dorian smoothed his hand over the swell of muscle, squeezing firmly as Camris gasped.

“Why now?”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Amatus, I’ve pictured all of the ways I might take you for months. None of them were because we had a terrible fight. Please don’t ask for this because you think you need to do it to keep me.” Camris flushed, and Dorian could tell that he was right, “I love you, and that will come when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Camris agreed sheepishly, “I wasn’t sure if that was one of the reasons you were considering leaving.”

“Absolutely not,” Dorian didn’t pull his hand away, instead kneading the muscle and smiling as Camris’ rocked forward against him, “picturing our first time together is one of my favorite pastimes.”

Camris reached between them, taking both of their cocks in his hand, “will you tell me what you think about?”

“With pleasure.”


	14. Chapter 14

Dorian curled around Camris as they settled into their afterglow, patting him on the bum to pull a laugh from Camris as Dorian kissed the point of his ear.

“Affectionate tonight,” Camris commented mildly.

“I’ve had to sleep alone for three nights, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

“For the record, Amatus,” Dorian whispered, “the sex that we’ve had has been more satisfying and pleasurable than anything I had back at home.”

“Really?”

“You have my word.”

“Well, that is good to hear.”

“Though I am very much looking ward to being inside of you. It takes preparation and time, it’s not something to impulsively do.”

“I know how it works, Vhenan,” Camris brought Dorian’s hand up to his mouth, kissing the knuckles, “Tevinter is not the only topic I’ve been reading about.”

***

The next few days had been better, with both Dorian and Camris acting as if their relationship was new again. Cyrel had checked in on them over each day, helping with any lingering conversations that required a level-headed perspective.

“I think I should take Dorian to the Exalted Plains,” Camris announced to Cyrel over lunch, “what do you think?”

“What’s in the Exalted Plains?” Dorian asked glancing between the brothers.

“Our father,” Cyrel glanced over Camris’ shoulder to where Cassandra was practicing with her sword, “I was just thinking of making the trip myself. We could go together?”

“We could leave tomorrow or the day after?”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian cut in, “I have no way to ask this without sounding rude, but isn’t your father dead?”

“If not, I have some questions for him,” Camris joked, “he’s buried there. Cyrel, Arlan, and I made a promise to our mother that we would take any serious partners to see him. A pilgrimage of sorts. It would show her that we were serious about the partnership, and it made her feel as if he was still involved with us, even though he’s gone.”

“That’s very sweet. Arlan did it with his wife?”

“Yes, but this would be the first time that Cyrel and I had gone.”

“I’d be happy to go with you.”

“I suppose I should speak to Cassandra.”

“She’ll say yes, Lethalin, never fear.”

***

Dorian packed the next morning, feeling vaguely nervous once he bumped into Cassandra on the way to the horses.

“Do you have any idea what to expect?”

“No,” Dorian noticed that Camris and Cyrel were already by the stable, “but something tells me that this is more significant than either of them have let on.”

“My thoughts as well,” Cassandra agreed, “I suddenly have more sympathy for you, Dorian, trying to navigate a relationship with someone who comes from a different culture than your own. I was up half the night worried I might offend Cyrel when we arrive.”

“I was up half the night as well, but doing other things.”

“Funny man,” Cassandra rolled her eyes, “and here I was trying to connect with you as a friend.”

“You should know that I make terrible jokes when I’m nervous, but Camris won’t let us down.”

“There you are,” Camris waved to them, “and here we were worried you had changed your mind.”

“Of course not,” Cassandra smiled as Cyrel took her bag, walking it over to the horses, “just unsure of what this entails.”

“To be fair, that makes the two of us,” Camris smiled sympathetically, “I wasn’t sure if I would ever find someone to take.”

“You’re just a man of good taste, Amatus, waiting for the perfect man.”

“And now I’ve found him,” Camris kissed Dorian, ignoring the various nobles milling around the stables, “aren’t I lucky?”

“Very lucky,” Dorian agreed.

“You two are awful,” Cyrel rolled his eyes, “you’ve been what, two hours apart? Come on, let’s go the horses are waiting.”

***

“What did your Keeper say when you asked him if you could leave?”

“I think he was just glad I’ve finally found someone,” Cyrel smiled at Cassandra, “and I told him it was important that I see you, given everything that is happening with the red lyrium. I promised him I would come back with information for him, and you’ve been more than generous with your reports.”

“If you need anything more before you go back, let me know.”

“I might use your undercroft; our hunters could use some new bows.”

“Be my guest, there are plenty of supplies around.”

“I wish I could get a mount like yours,” Cyrel admired Camris’ hart, “I could imagine the reaction when I rode back to the camp.”

“We can arrange that,” Camris ran his hand down the neck of the hart, “I know Dorian would prefer if I rode a horse.”

“You’re riding a giant _deer_ , Amatus. They’re known for running off when frightened. I’m always worried that we're going to come across a rift and you’ll end up miles away.”

“Horses also run off when frightened, Vhenan.”

“You don’t use tack.”

“Why should I? I don’t need it.”

“You’re going to be the talk of Tevinter, Amatus.”

“Oh, I hope so.”

***

“You hunt, I’ve got the tents,” Cyrel handed Camris his bow as they stopped for camp.

“I’ll find some vegetables nearby,” Cassandra took off toward the forest.

“Well, I guess I’ll…” Dorian looked around the clearing they had chosen to camp in, “prepare the fire.”

Camris handed Dorian his flint box with a warm smile, “Be patient and remember to take your time. If all else fails, use magic.”

“Wish me luck.”

“You won’t need it,” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, walking off into the woods.

“Shit,” Dorian glanced around, “right. First thing, dried wood.”

***

It was taken Dorian a while to find the wood, but Cyrel had helped once the tents were set up and soon they had enough to last them the evening. Dorian thought back to what Camris had taught him, gathering a bunch of dried leaves, cotton from a nearby plant, and thin twigs in a bundle on a rock near the fire, taking Camris’ flint with unsteady hands.

It took a few strikes for Dorian to even get a spark from the flint, but the third one caught, and Dorian quickly gathered the bundle in his hands and started to blow softly.

He almost dropped it as it erupted into flame in his hand but managed to place it under the logs in the fire, grinning as the kindling took flame.

“Well done, Vhenan. Like you’ve been doing it all your life.”

Dorian blushed as Camris walked up behind him, a hand on his shoulder as he admired the fire, two rabbits loosely held in his other hand.

“I’m surprised, Dorian. I would have thought you would use magic.”

“Camris taught me,” Dorian answered Cassandra, “I thought it would be good to learn.”

“I’m proud of you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s temple, “want to learn how to prepare rabbit?”

Dorian wrinkled his nose as Camris held up the animals, “I have limits, Amatus.”

***

Camris stretched out on the bedroll reaching for Dorian to join him.

“You’re not seducing me tonight, Amatus, your brother is just six feet to our left.”

“They’re in their own tent,” Camris smiled as Dorian straddled him, “and likely in a similar position.”

Dorian stretched over Camris, kissing him softly until Camris moaned softly against him before bringing his lips to Camris’ pointed ear.

“ _No,_ Amatus.”

Camris groaned with a laugh, “minx.”

“Next time move our tent further away,” Dorian suggested as he moved to lay beside Camris.

Camris pouted, an exaggerated bottom lip thrust out at Dorian as he rolled on his stomach, propping his chin up on Dorian’s chest.

Dorian rolled his eyes, “Was there something particular you wanted tonight?”

“You inside of me.”

The words rendered Dorian speechless.

“No?”

“We’re in a forest” Dorian started, “we don’t have oil.”

“I have oil. I packed some.”

“You…packed some?”

“Yes, just in case.”

“You’re joking, have you ever even _had_ something inside of you? Do you know if it’s something that you enjoy?”

“I tried my fingers when you and I first decided to court, I figured I would get the awkward first time out of the way before you joined me.”

“You-“ Dorian closed his eyes against the mental image of Camris on their bed, fingers buried inside of himself as he moaned in pleasure, “Maker what I wouldn’t give to watch that.”

“I’ll show you if you’d like to watch. I read about a spot inside of you that’s meant to feel amazing but I couldn’t quite reach. It still felt good, but I imagine it would be better if it was your cock.”

“Shh,” Dorian covered Camris’ mouth, “you’ll wake your brother.”

“They’re occupied with other things, I don’t think you could hear them.”

“Fasta vass, Camris, you’re not suggesting that we have our first time out _here_?”

“We can wait if you prefer, but keep in mind I grew up in the forest, so this would have been my typical venue for such things.”

Dorian wasn’t sure if he had ever wanted something quite so bad.

“I don’t want you to have to stifle your moans the first time,” Dorian managed to find his voice of reason, “as tempting as you are.”

“Suit yourself,” Camris shrugged, kissing Dorian’s chest and curling up around him.

“What, that’s it? No more protesting?”

“What do you want me to say, Vhenan? How badly I’ve been aching for you? How I’ve ridden my fingers with the thought of you inside me? All of these things are true, but in the end, they don’t matter if you would rather wait until we’re back at Skyhold.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

“This is me saying something,” Camris traced the lines of muscle across Dorian’s stomach down toward the waistband of his smalls, “I was hoping it would come up naturally, you know, that one night it would sort of organically move past more than just our usual. When I realized that you avoid touching my bum as if it has personally offended you, I decided I might need to be more direct. I was going to ask you last night, but then my mouth was on your cock and I was distracted.”

“Wait,” Dorian caught Camris’ hand just as it dipped into his smalls, “you said you would show me?”

“If you would like to watch, certainly.”

Dorian muttered a quick incantation, a small, dim, orb of light floating by the front flap to the tent, “here?”

“Sure,” Camris sat up and reached for his bag, retrieving a glass bottle from within.

“May I see that?”

Camris handed the bottle to Dorian while he finished undressing, his smalls kicked off to the bottom of the bedroll.

“Did you get this in Orlais?” Dorian noticed that the bottle was half-empty, alluding that this was not a first or second attempt for Camris.

“I did,” Camris confirmed, lazily stroking his cock as he watched Dorian read the bottle, “just in case.”

Dorian handed the bottle back, watching as Camris uncorked the bottle and with s practiced movement, coated his fingers.

“If you going to watch me,” Camris set the bottle aside before dropping back against the bedroll, spreading his legs and bending one at the knee, “can you at least undress so I’m not completely awkward?”

“You seem very comfortable, Amatus,” Dorian did as Camris asked, moving a little closer to him once he was nude, resting one of his hands on the inside of Camris’ thigh, “you would think we were at home in Skyhold with the way you’re reclined.”

“Something about you makes me comfortable, come and kiss me.”

It was an easy request, and Dorian couldn’t help but smile as Camris hummed softly against his lips. It was a slow start, and Dorian assumed that Camris was working up the courage to proceed.

Then there was a shift, and Camris pulled away from the kiss with a gasp. Dorian kissed the point of Camris’ ear, glancing down the length of his body.

His chest was already flushed, his breathing coming in quick short bursts as one hand slowly stroked his cock and the other, in an awkward reach, disappeared between his legs.

“Does that feel good, Amatus?”

“Yes,” Camris hid his face against Dorian’s neck, “I wish it was you.”

“Soon, my love,” Dorian reached for him, teasing one of his nipples until it stiffened under his thumb, “when we get home we’ll take a day, just us, and I’ll make love to you all day.”

Camris moaned, softly, against Dorian’s skin, “yes, please”

“I’m going to move, Amatus, I want to watch your beautiful hands work.”

Camris nodded, and Dorian moved toward the end of the bedroll, willing the light to move just over his shoulder.

It was _beautiful_.

Camris, slightly flushed and trembling, was stroking his cock in earnest now, clearly chasing his completion. His muscles strained under the reach, and his stomach flexed each time he shifted to try and find the right spot inside of him.

Dorian glanced up and saw Camris had his eyes closed, his brow furrowed.

“Would you like me to show you where it is?”

“Yes,” Camris answered immediately, his voice desperate.

“Alright,” Dorian retrieved the oil, pouring some in the palm of his hand and testing its quality. It felt like silk as it coated his fingers and Dorian knew it had cost Camris’ a pretty penny to obtain.

As soon as Camris felt Dorian’s hand approach he spread his legs further and moved his hand out of the way. The sight of Camris so desperate for his touch was breathtaking.

“You might want to cover your mouth, as much as I would like to hear those moans.”

“Promises, promises.”

Dorian rolled his eyes, “you shouldn’t doubt my abilities, Amatus,” Dorian carefully pressed his finger inside of Camris, closing his eyes as he pictured the pleasure of sinking into the warm, tight, heat.

Camris’ mouth dropped open and for a moment it looked as if his composure might slip before a small smile crossed his face, “I don’t know, it doesn’t feel all that different from when I do it, Vhenan.”

“Is that so?”

Dorian curled his fingers, gently to start, but the effect was immediate as Camris let out a startled moan before covering his mouth with his hand.

“Oh, does that feel good?” Dorian pushed firmly into the bundle of nerves, smiling as Camris’ back arched, tight like a bowstring, “not more of the same old, same old?”

“Please, Vhenan,” Camris was babbling softly, “ _please.”_

Dorian leaned forward, taking the head of Camris’ cock into his mouth, pulling another moan from him.

Patience be damned, Dorian could lavish him later. Right now, his main focus was to give Camris the best orgasm of his life.

Camris’ fingers found Dorian’s hair, not pulling, but holding on firmly as he rocked back against Dorian’s fingers and up into his mouth.

Dorian knew he was on the right track when Camris switched entirely to Elvhen. Still managing to speak quietly but seeming to babble various terms of endearment as Dorian pleasured him.

It was over quickly once Dorian added the second finger. It was hardly a stretch really, Camris so trusting and relaxed it was an easy press as he curled both fingers inside of Camris.

“Dorian,” Camris sounded urgent, “Vhenan.”

Dorian curled his fingers once more and his mouth was flooded as Camris fell over the edge, back arched and moans stifled by the pillow Camris had thankfully thought to cover his face with. Dorian pushed him through it, drawing out the pleasure for as long as he could before gently kissing Camris’ stomach.

“Take a deep breath, you’ll be more sensitive now,” Dorian waited for Camris to take a deep breath into his lungs before pulling his fingers from Camris on the exhale, “alright?”

Dorian let out a yelp as Camris pulled him up and rolled him over onto his back, pinning him to the bedroll.

“You amazing man,” Camris was glowing as he smiled down at Dorian, “what can I do for you in exchange?”

“At this point, I think a strong breeze might put me over the edge, so whatever you’re offering.”

Camris practically shot down the bed, and Dorian yelped as his cock was taken into Camris’ mouth.

“Warn me next time,” Dorian reached for Camris’ hair, holding it out of the way as he bobbed over his cock, “that’s it, Amatus. You’re so good.”

Camris glanced up in amusement at Dorian’s compliment, reaching between his legs to tease the sensitive skin of his balls before dipping his fingers lower with his eyebrow arched in question.

“I haven’t done that in some time,” Dorian gasped as Camris’ finger just barely brushed over him, “can we keep it at that for tonight?”

“Mmhmm,” Camris hummed around Dorian, his finger teasing, as Dorian thrust his hips up into Camris’ mouth.

“I wish I was inside of you,” Dorian whispered, “so badly.”

Camris pulled off with a pop, stroking Dorian’s cock as he spoke, “I’m pretty prepared if you would like to try.”

“You’d be too sensitive, Amatus.”

“Are you sure?” Camris leaned forward and kissed Dorian’s stomach, “don’t you want to fill me? Spend inside of me? Imagine how good it would feel, Vhenan, how tight I would be for you.”

Dorian didn’t stand a chance, spilling as soon as Camris took him back into his mouth, holding onto Camris’ hair like a lifeline.

“You have a _filthy_ mouth,” Dorian half-gasped, half-laughed, as his body relaxed back against the bedroll.

“Well,” Camris chuckled, reaching for the blanket and pulling it up to cover them both as he laid beside Dorian, “you know where it’s been.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be inside of someone so badly.”

“Soon.”

“Not soon enough, Amatus. Not soon enough.”

***

Camris rolled his eyes at his brother as Cyrel wolf-whistled at them as they walked out of their tent the following morning.

“As if you weren’t doing something very similar. You’re not the only one that has Elvhen hearing.”

Cyrel paused, cowering under Cassandra’s glare, “yes, thank you, Camris.”

“Shouldn’t have whistled then,” Camris grabbed his bow, preparing an arrow and looking over the trees, “actually, on second thought, for old times?”

Cyrel smiled, pursing his lips together and letting out a high-pitched whistle.

By the time Dorian had figured out where the sounds of the birds were coming from, Camris had already sent an arrow in that direction. There was a soft thump and Cyrel laughed.

“Is that a turkey?”

“I think so,” Camris set the bow aside, “big enough for the four of us for breakfast at very least, probably lunch too.”

“I’ll start taking down the tents.”

“And I’ve got the fire,” Dorian offered with a smile and a kiss to Camris’ cheek.

***

“There is a clan nearby, we could leave our horses with them. I’ve been working on our relationship with them for a while, and I come bearing gifts for them.”

“What did you bring them this time, Inquisitor?” Cassandra asked as they turned their horses in the direction of the clan.

“The last thing on their list,” Camris pat his bag, “three great bear hides. I hope they like it because they were remarkably difficult to get.”

“How did you manage that?” Cyrel asked, turning on his horse to look at Camris.

“He shot them,” Dorian answered for Camris, “in the Hinterlands when _all three_ gathered around us at once and we had to give Bull _eight_ healing potions.”

“We were fine.”

“Bull almost bled out.”

“Almost, but he didn’t, not in the end.”

“Camris, your friends aren’t human shields.”

“Cyrel, most of the time you’re lucky to see _one_ great bear in your lifetime, how was I to know that there would be _three_. Besides, I almost saw Bull set his horns on fire when we took out the dragon not even three days later, he clearly wasn’t _that_ hurt.”

“A dragon.”

“Yes, in the Hinterlands.”

“You took out a _dragon_.”

“Why are you surprised? I’m a good hunter.”

“I know you are, our clan depended on you, but still, a dragon is quite something.”

“It was terrifying,” Dorian commented mildly, “I tried to talk him out of it.”

“I took out another one in the Frostback Basin with Cassandra, that one was harder.”

“I don’t like ice dragons,” Cassandra scowled, “they’re much harder to kill than fire dragons.”

“Lethalin!” The Keeper of the Clan called to them as they came into view, “you’ve returned!”

Camris answered him in elvhen, and Dorian couldn’t help but grin as the camp exploded into action.

“He’s a celebrity,” Cassandra joked as two of the Clan rushed over for his hart, “it’s like they were waiting for him.”

“My Vhenan,” Camris pointed to Dorian by way of an introduction, “Dorian. That is my brother, Cyrel, and his Vhenan, Cassandra, who you’ve met before.”

“You’re welcome to stay with us while you’re here,” the Keeper spoke to the group, “so long as you help.”

“I brought the great bear hides you were looking for,” Camris pulled them from his bag, “and I have leftover turkey from my hunt this morning.”

As the clan cheered Camris smiled sheepishly at Dorian.

“Of course they love you, Amatus, how could they not?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit heavy in this chapter, and there is reference to suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> Remember, if you're feeling sad or alone that there are lots of amazing resources out there to help. If you need help finding one, please let me know and I'll do my best to assist.
> 
> Thank you for the lovely comments so far, we're coming to an end soon, and I think we only have a few more chapters before this fic is complete.

It was always interesting watching Camris when he was surrounded by other Dalish. Camris would almost immediately switch to speaking pure elven, only speaking common when he saw Dorian or Cassandra listening in on the conversation. Eventually, his boots would be discarded by the tent he was staying in and the light leather armor he wore would be left behind. Camris looked truly comfortable out and around the aravel and the halla, and Dorian wondered, not for the first time, if he would manage in Tevinter.

“You travel with the Inquisitor?” A small female voice caught Dorian’s attention and drew his gaze from watching Camris.

“I do, yes. My name is Dorian.”

“Valori,” she smiled and Dorian was struck by how very pretty she was, long dark hair, green eyes, bright white tattoos over her brow, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Very nice to meet you, Valori.”

“Is it true that the Inquisition has an entire fortress in the mountains?”

“Yes, it’s quite something, we call it Skyhold.”

“Amazing,” Valori glanced over to Camris, “he’s impressive.”

“That he is.”

“Do you know if he’s involved with anyone?”

Dorian faltered, “why do you ask?”

“If wasn’t I might approach him,” Valori shrugged one shoulder, offering a flirty smile to Camris as he glanced their way.

“Looks like he’s heading over here,” Dorian watched Camris excuse himself from the conversation he was in the middle of and walk over toward them.

“Ma Vhenan,” Camris called to Dorian, “are you making friends?”

“Amatus, this is Valori, I was just telling her about Skyhold.”

Valori hid her surprise well, “so _this_ is your Vhenan?”

“The one and only,” Camris wrapped his arm over Dorian’s shoulder, “he’s also our Tevinter ambassador of sorts, and one of my magical advisors.”

“You’re quite accomplished, Dorian.”

“I do my best.”

“Unusual combination, someone from Tevinter with someone Dalish, have you been together long?”

“Ages, at this stage it must be the better part of a year.”

Dorian did the quick mental math and figured they had likely _known_ each other for the better part of a year, but they had only been courting for a few months. Still, he saw no need to correct him.

“Love at first sight,” Camris waved in the direction behind them, “my father is buried in Var Bellanaris, I wanted to bring Dorian to meet him, so to speak.”

“Enjoy your visit, Inquisitor,” Valori gave a small bow.

“It was nice to meet you.”

Valori excused herself, heading back into the camp.

“She was asking if you were involved with anyone.”

“I know, I heard her,” Camris pressed a kiss to Dorian’s hair, “and I am, so I told her.”

“Love at first sight?” Dorian turned to face Camris, “together for a year?”

“We’ve been practically inseparable since you joined,” Camris shrugged, “and you’ve been with the Inquisition almost since our start and Cassandra just reminded me that we’re approaching a year.”

“You’re not subtle, you know that, yes?”

“I wasn’t trying for subtle, I was trying to make you feel reassured,” Camris glanced up as Cyrel called his name, “grab your staff, we’re headed to Val Bellanaris and it is almost _always_ full of demons.”

“You always take me to the most romantic places, Amatus.”

***

The demons at floated around the cemetery had been easily dispatched by Camris and Cyrel, the brothers carefully stepping around the various graves and urns until the area was safe.

Cyrel had nodded his head in the direction of a small grave toward one of the walls, frowning as he approached, “oh, no.”

Camris knelt, picking up a small piece of broken ceramic from the urn that sat on top of a small stone, “likely the demons. They don’t care what they destroy.”

“Father was never one for decorative things anyway, but still, sad to see,” Cyrel cleared some weeds from one side of the stone, Camris working on the other as Cassandra and Dorian watched.

“Val Bellanaris,” Cyrel started to explain, “translates in common to _our eternity_. There are hundreds of our ancestors buried here and those of us who can still lay our family to rest here. I know this is now a part of the land of Orlais, but even the nobles seem to know better than to remove it. When our father died, we brought him here to be buried with the rest of his family.”

“There are hundreds here?” Dorian glanced over the small cemetery, “how?”

“I imagine it used to be bigger, before the rebellions.”

“Such a shame to see your history destroyed,” Cassandra approached the grave, setting a gold piece on the stone, “this is one of our traditions in Nevarra. We do not bury our dead in the ground, rather spend most of our lives building tombs. Many of our dead are brought back in the Grand Necropolis, though I think this peace is much nicer.”

“I’m sure he would appreciate it,” Cyrel smiled at Cassandra, “Camris, did you want to go first?”

“No, you go, I’ll keep watch with Dorian at the gates to make sure that no more demons interrupt you,” Camris stood, offering Dorian his arm and walking to the gates.

“Are you alright?” Dorian asked once they were out of earshot.

“Not really,” Camris leaned against one of the exterior walls, “I never saw myself coming here, to be honest with you, and please, don’t take that as a reflection on you or our relationship.”

“Why did you think you would never come?”

“I never thought I would find someone, and when I was younger it seemed silly. I was so young when he died, I don’t feel…connected…I suppose. Not like Cyrel does.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Still,” Camris sighed, “I made a promise to Mamae if I found someone I was serious about I would bring them. So here we are.”

“You’ve met my father, so I suppose it’s only fair,” Dorian walked closer to Camris, smiling as he immediately wrapped an arm over his shoulder, “I already prefer your father to mine.”

Camris laughed, “Dorian, that’s awful.”

“You love me.”

“I absolutely do.”

***

“Alright, Cam, your turn,” Cyrel came around the corner an hour or so later, “sorry that took so long.”

“He was more your father than mine,” Camris shoved off of the wall, “I don’t mind waiting.”

“We’ll wait here for you.”

“Come on, Vhenan,” Camris offered Dorian his hand, “you have someone to meet.”

Dorian followed Camris back to the small grave, following suit as Camris sat beside the headstone.

After a minute had passed, Camris spoke, “I have no idea what I’m meant to do here.”

“I imagine what most people do at a cemetery, just start talking.”

“Seems strange to do, it’s not as if he’s here.”

“In Tevinter they teach us that the Fade is everywhere, which is why things like specters exist and why I’m able to do the magic I can. Even if he’s not _here_ , it’s possible he can still hear you.”

“I don’t suppose you have any fancy Tevinter spells that would let me speak with him? Face to face?”

Dorian cringed, “I could pull him from the grave, but that’s not what you want.”

“Fine,” Camris sighed, “Dorian Pavus, this is, or was, my father. Camlen Lavellan. Papae, if you can hear me, this is my Vhenan.”

The trees around them creaked as a sudden breeze rushed through the cemetery, both Dorian and Camris glancing around in shock.

“Maybe he can hear you, Amatus.”

“Maybe,” Camris glanced to the broken urn, “I only know what Mamae has told me about you, you died when I was so young it was like you didn’t even exist.”

Camris sighed, picking up a piece of ceramic and holding it between two fingers, “death is strange, and it has a funny way of changing the memory of someone. I grew up listening to all of these great stories about how you were the _best_ hunter for our clan. I used to hear about how you would be able to go out and hunt in the morning and have us all fed before lunch. It was an amazing thing to hear as a child, that their parent had done so much for others, of course, I had no way of knowing if any of it was true. Regardless, you left a huge void to be filled.”

“Of course, then Cyrel and Arlan ended up with magic, so no reasonable clan would have expected them to become hunters. It’s unheard of for a mage to be the hunter, so the responsibility fell to me; but, how was I supposed to ever be and good as you? I had no father to teach me how to wield a bow or to track prints in the grass. The other hunters didn’t want to teach me for fear of me getting hurt. I understood, Mamae already had so much grief, they couldn’t add losing a child to her burden.”

“Regardless, it was still expected of me to follow in your footsteps, so as long as I’ve been able to pull a bow I’ve tried. I’m pretty good, too, if I do say so myself, but I was never you.”

Dorian watched Camris turn the ceramic over in his fingers, a slight tremble to them.

“I hated it,” Camris sighed, “I hated being a hunter. I hated being a lackluster replacement for you. I did my best, but the resentment was enough that I had a terrible temper, and I was known for lashing out. It was hardly surprising really that no one wanted to be my friend, never mind my lover. I was so _fiercely_ lonely. I got to watch as the other hunters found their partners, I saw Arlan steal the attention of _every_ woman I was slightly interested in. Cyrel left as we came into adulthood, and in doing so took my only friend away from me.”

“One night I went to the cliff, the one that looks over the water, to watch the sunset. I had a plan- or well, I thought that it was likely the last sunset I was going to ever watch. Years of being a hunter made it easy enough to slip away from camp, and no one noticed that I had left.”

Dorian thought of watching the sunset on that same cliff, the way that Camris smiled at him, it was hard to picture Camris anything but the joyful man he had grown to love.

“I sat on the edge,” Camris continued, “waiting for the sun to set. I knew once it did, I was going to jump from the cliff. I was so immensely lonely; it was so bad I could feel it in my bones as I walked. Just as it was about to disappear, Mamae found me.”

Dorian let out a breath he had been holding and Camris glanced at him, fresh tear tracks down his face.

“She said “ _where do you think you’re going, Da’len. Off to see your father so soon?”_. I felt awful, but I can’t say I was surprised that she had seen my pain. She’s always been an amazing mother. She came and sat with me and asked me what was wrong and I just…exploded. I told her how lonely I was, how difficult it was to live up to your impossible standard, how it had made me cold and unlovable, how I wanted to leave because I couldn’t wake up every morning just to do the same thing over and over again. I was _so tired_ , by that stage even breathing was taking more from me than I had to offer.”

“Mamae has always been the sensible sort, and she turned to me and said, “ _when your father was sick with the blight he asked me to make sure that none of his children felt like they had to be him. Arlan and Cyrel both having magic protected them from that, but I fear I’ve not done a good job with you. Your father always wanted me to tell you that you were to make your own path, Cam. You don’t need to be the hunter. Make your own choices, be your own person. So long as you’re happy, I’ll support you_.”

Camris frowned, “I couldn’t understand it, over a hundred years I’d been trying to be _just like you_ , and now Mamae was telling me to find my path. How was I to know what path I could even follow? I’d only ever known being your replacement. When I told her as much she told me, “ _that’s the best thing about growing up, Cam. At some point, you get to decide what kind of person you’re going to be. You’re a great hunter, no doubt about that, but are you happy? If you’re not, maybe it’s time that we speak with the Keeper to find you a new path. One that sparks joy in you_.”

“I wasn’t sure that such a thing existed, to be honest, and I told her as much. She pulled me into a hug and told me, “ _well, you’ll never know if you throw yourself off of this cliff.”_ So… I didn’t. We sat on that ledge all night and I told her everything I had been feeling, how I wanted to be _more_. When the sun rose the next morning, I felt lighter than I had in years, and Mamae, well, she sobbed. I promised myself I would find a purpose in my life that would make me happy and her proud. Five years later, I was sent to the conclave.”

“If you can believe it, I was…pulled I suppose, into the Fade. I can’t remember much else, but when I returned, I woke up chained in a small room in a town called Haven with a scary woman holding a knife to my throat and a magic mark on my hand. Since then I’ve seen the fall of Haven, I’ve become the leader of the Inquisition,” Camris shook his head with a laugh, “some of my best friends are Qunari or Dwarfs, and I have an entire army at my control. I’m still a hunter, of a sort, but my prey is so much _bigger_ now. I’m trying to save all of Thedas, Papae, and I’m doing it with a man I love.”

“Dorian is, well, _everything_. He loves me for all of the reasons I thought I could never be loved, and I love him just as much. After the Inquisition is over it looks like I’m headed to Tevinter for a fresh start. Think of it, Papae, a Dalish Elf in Tevinter as a free man. Dorian is going to change things there, and I’m sure there will be a number of our people displaced. I hope to be able to help them as Dorian shifts things. I hope to be useful.”

“I promised Mamae that I would bring whoever it was that I thought I would spend my life with to meet you. While I don’t come to see you often, I needed to bring Dorian, because he’s it for me, Papae. He’s my Vhenan.”

Dorian reached for Camris’ hand, giving it a squeeze as the wind picked up again.

Camris let out a long breath, “well, that was more emotional than I thought.”

“I was right though,” Dorian commented, “your father is a _much_ better listener than mine.”

Camris laughed, “yes, he is good for that.”

“I think he would be proud of you,” Dorian glanced to the headstone, “you’ve accomplished great things, you’ve saved countless people, and you’ve grown into a remarkable man. I’m very proud that you’re my Amatus.”

“And I’m proud you’re my Vhenan,” Camris wiped his face, setting the ceramic down, “I wish I could fix this.”

“Maybe we can get a new one, bring it to him before we go to Tevinter?”

“We could, but Mamae brought this one for him, she saved up for ages to get it.” Camris stood, “I suppose all things break, in time.”

“Some things are made stronger after breaking. You’re a good example of that,” Dorian took Camris’ hand, “how are you feeling?”

“Lighter,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “come on, let's go back to camp.”

***

“Where are you going?” Camris protested the next morning as Dorian tried to escape his grip, “it’s barely sunrise.”

“Unfortunately, Amatus, certain bodily functions don’t care about the time of day. I’ll be right back.”

“Fine,” Camris pouted, but let Dorian go and rolled to face the wall of the tent, “come back soon.”

“I will,” Dorian pulled his jacket on quickly, waiting until Camris appeared to be asleep again before retrieving his staff and heading toward the cemetery.

There were no demons, thankfully, and Dorian quickly made his way to the broken urn.

“Maker I hope this works,” Dorian glanced at his fingers, looking over his jewelry and pulling off one of the larger rings. It had been a gift from Alexius, and now it would serve a higher purpose.

It wasn’t a spell Dorian was very familiar with, and it took him a few minutes to recall the incantations, but after a few false starts the ring melted into a floating ball of red-hot ore. Gradually it began flooding the cracks of the urn, the loose pieces of ceramic jumping back into their respective places, the gold filling the gaps left behind.

There was a low ball of light, and the urn shook, only just caught by Dorian as it settled back in its rightful place. Whole again.

“I don’t deserve him,” Dorian spoke to the urn, “I never will, but I give you my word I will do my best to care for him and love him, as much as I possibly can.”

There was a loud caw from a nearby crow, and Dorian glanced to the bird as it took off from the wall, flying low over the urn, before disappearing into the trees. A large black feather falling from his wing as he moved, landing on the grave.

Dorian picked it up, glancing around the cemetery, “do I take that as your approval?”

Another loud caw, this one out of sight.

“Alright then.”

Dorian took a moment to set up some small barriers around it before rushing back to camp.

“There you are,” Camris was dressing in the tent, “I was getting worried.”

“I was distracted. Now that you’re up, come with me, I’d like to show you something.”

“Oh? Did you find something interesting?”

“Come on,” Dorian tugged Camris’ hand, “please.”

“Alright, let me get my coat on.”

“We should bring your brother, too.”

“Go find him while I finish dressing, I’ll be outside in a minute.”

Cassandra and Cyrel looked at Dorian skeptically but followed along as he quickly led them back to the cemetery.

It was Camris who noticed first.

“You fixed it?” Camris kneeled by the urn, “how?”

“An old Tevinter spell, your brother had reminded me of it actually during one of our talks, he said that come cultures fixed ceramic with gold and I thought I would look it up. I remembered how to do it this morning.”

“But where did you get the gold from?”

Dorian wiggled his fingers in the air with a shrug.

“Vhenan,” Camris reached for him, “that was from your home.”

“You’re my home now,” Dorian kissed Camris’ forehead, “and this was important to you, so it was important to me.”

“That was very kind of you, Dorian,” Cassandra walked over to a small bush of Andraste’s Grace and picked a few flowers, gently placing it in the urn.

“You set up wards?” Cyrel touched the urn gently.

“Just small ones, it will stop it from getting knocked over if the wind is strong.”

“I love you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dorian was vaguely uncomfortable with the attention, “it was nothing.”

“I wasn’t nothing,” Cyrel disagreed, “you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know it didn’t _have_ to. I wanted to help. Maybe Camris is rubbing off on me.”

Cyrel stood back, admiring the now fixed urn and the flowers within it, “I’m grateful, for this and your care of my brother. There have been many nights where I have laid awake thinking about how I abandoned him. I worry less knowing you’re with him.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Cyrel.”

“Of course I do,” Cyrel punched Camris in the shoulder hard enough that Camris winced, “I’m your brother.”

***

“Did you want to go off on our own tonight?” Camris asked Dorian over lunch, “there’s a ruin not too far from the cemetery, it’s safe and defensible.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Always, but not specifically tonight. I thought that it might be nice to get away, just the two of us,” Camris nudged Dorian with his knee, “I’ll cook you dinner.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Amatus.”

“He’s a good cook,” Cyrel added, “and it’s likely some of the only peace you two will have for some time.”

“Alright, you’ve sold me,” Dorian agreed with little argument, “shall we pack our tent?”

“Unless you want to sleep under the stars, which is fine by me.”

“Uh, no, I’d rather not.”

Cyrel had helped them in the end, carrying the tent along with Camris carrying their bags until they found the ruins. A stroke of luck found that there were no demons there, and Cyrel had activated a nearby relic, so for the night, they weren’t concerned about a rift popping up.

“You’re sure you’ll be fine?”

“Cyrel, I know you haven’t lived with me in some time, but I promise you I am well equipped at surviving the night alone.”

“I know,” Cyrel sighed, smiling sheepishly at Camris, “sometimes it feels like I blinked, and you were grown up. I have a hard time remembering that you don’t need me anymore.”

“I’ll always need you,” Camris assured him, “but I plan on ravishing my man tonight, so unless you want to _hear_ -“

“I’m leaving,” Cyrel held his hands up as he retreated, “have fun.”

“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a sibling,” Dorian watched Cyrel as he left the ruins, “you two have a lovely relationship.”

“He had a lot of responsibility for me, and Arlan. He spent a lot of his time chasing us through the forest. I owe him a lot, but I hope introducing him to Cassandra has balanced it out a bit.”

“She’s glowing.”

“Good sex does that.”

“Does it?”

“So I’ve been told,” Camris started putting up their tent, “I’ve only had sex a few times in my life, not a lot of opportunity to do it, so I suppose I don’t have my glow yet.”

“You couldn’t be any more beautiful if you tried, Amatus. How can I help?”

“Do you know how to fish?”

Dorian laughed, “do I look like I know how to fish?”

Camris smiled, “how about you start the fire?”

“That I can do.”

***

“I am _not_ getting into the water, Amatus.”

“It’s warm.”

“I can see all sorts of various sea creatures in there.”

“Yes, that’s the point, we’re going to catch a few for dinner.”

“Unless you want me to put an ice mine in the water, we’ll be going hungry if you depend on me.”

“Fine,” Camris took the fishing rod he had borrowed from the Dalish camp and stepped into the water up to his knees, casting the line out into the deeper waters.

“You’re not going to be able to catch anything, it’s getting late.”

“Oh ye of little faith, Vhenan.”

“I’ll give you twenty minutes. If you don’t catch something you need to go hunting.”

“Fine,” Camris rolled his eyes, “but I’ll catch us something.”

Dorian had eventually lost track of time, distracted by his book. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of water splashing in the distance and a victorious cry from Camris that he looked up.

“You were saying, Vhenan?” Camris held up a decent size fish in his right hand as he walked to shore, “easy.”

Dorian couldn’t help but grin as Camris walked up the embankment to show Dorian the fish, “well done.”

“I may not have money, but we’ll never go hungry,” Camris pulled a sharp knife from his belt, “did you want to learn how to prepare fish, or are you happy to stop at working on the fire?”

“The fire is fine. I think I might faint if I have to chop the head off of a fish.”

***

Dinner at been lovely and Camris had managed to prepare quite the meal considering their current location. Now, Dorian was reclined against Camris’ chest, reading aloud to Camris.

“I’m not sure who researched for this book,” Dorian flipped the page, “but it’s entertaining.”

“You’re missing the view, Vhenan.”

Dorian glanced up and found the sky a beautiful canvass of reds and oranges, “it’s lovely.”

Camris kissed Dorian’s temple and wrapped his arms around him tighter, resting his chin on Dorian’s shoulder, “it’s better with you.”

“Of course it is.”

Dorian took a contented breath, watching as the sun started to set over the water, enjoying the feeling of Camris holding him.

“I love you, Dorian.”

“And I love you, Amatus. You seemed quite sure yesterday when we were speaking with your father about coming with me to Tevinter. Are you certain you would be happy there?”

“No,” Camris shrugged, “but I know that I love you, and if you’re there, it’s where I want to be.”

“You’ll be trapped in a city, it’s practically a desert there. You won’t be seeing any trees that look like this.”

“That’s alright.”

“No clans, either. Any Elves you find will be servants.”

“That’s okay, too.”

“I feel as if I’m asking a lot of you, to come with me.”

“Actually, you were specifically going to leave me at Skyhold,” Camris’ voice wavered slightly, “but if you’ll have me, I want to go with you.”

“I’m scared you’ll be unhappy there.”

“We’ll never know unless we go,” Camris kissed the side of Dorian’s neck, “but I trust you, and I know you’ll change things there. I want to be there to help however you need.”

“Changing things there is going to take some time.”

“Big changes always take time.”

“I was thinking,” Dorian turned to glance at Camris, “we should stay here for a while, shouldn’t we? Even once Corypheus is dead. So many big decisions will be decided by the Inquisition, and they’ll need you here for that.”

“ _We_ should stay?”

“Yes, if I’m going to change Tevinter, it needs to be done once you’ve helped Ferelden and Orlais.”

“That might be a year, maybe two…”

“Tevinter will still be there, after.”

“Hmm,” Camris considered the point, “why don’t we decide _after_ I deal with Corypheus? We can think about it now, and decide later. Let’s come up with a few plans, and we can discuss them.”

“Whatever we do, we’ll figure it out together.”

“That’s right.” Camris agreed, “besides if we’re going to move to an entirely new place, you’re going to have to make an honest man of me first.”

Dorian choked mid-swig from the bottle of wine they had been sharing, and the sound of Camris’ laugh carried all the way to the Dalish camp.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick thank you to LadyDarksbane, who has left me some wonderful comments over the past few days and encouraged me to write the chapter I've been dancing around for a week.

“Come on, my love, you’re falling asleep over that book,” Camris shook Dorian gently.

“No, I’m not.”

“Dorian, the book is on your chest and you were snoring a moment ago.”

Dorian opened his eyes and found Camris was right, marking the page of his book with a bookmark and sitting up, “I’m sorry, Amatus, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“Don’t apologize. Believe me when I say there is nothing I would rather do at night than hold you, but it’s going to get cold soon, and we should get into the tent before the wolves start hunting.”

“You’re right,” Dorian stood, helping Camris up, “I’m not familiar with camping in abandoned ruins, is there something specific we should do?”

“Feed the fire to keep the wildlife away, it’s on stone so I’m not worried about it spreading, and tidy up the dishes from dinner. Go to bed, Vhenan, it will only take me a few minutes.”

“I can help.”

“I know you can,” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, “by making the bedroll warm before I come back. Go lay down, and I’ll be right there.”

“You’re sure?”

Camris smiled, “go.”

“Alright,” Dorian made his way into the tent, setting his book aside and getting undressed, pausing as he heard Camris’ voice outside.

Camris was _singing_.

It wasn’t loud by any means, and Dorian had to strain to hear it, but if he held very still, he could hear Camris singing softly as he washed the dishes in the water.

Dorian sat on the bedroll and listened. Sometimes the singing would falter as Camris reached for something or looked for something, but eventually, the song would pick up again, only stopping as Camris stepped into the tent and stopped short when he found Dorian staring at him.

“What?”

“You were singing,” Dorian smiled as Camris’ blushed, “I was listening.”

“My apologies for your ears.”

“You have a lovely singing voice,” Dorian watched as Camris undressed, “and a lovely body.”

“If you say so.”

“Do you not think you’re attractive?”

“Uh, no?” Camris looked at Dorian quizzically, “have you seen my brothers?”

“Yes, and they’re lovely, but you’re the most attractive of the bunch.”

The look Camris gave Dorian told him that Camris didn’t believe him. Dorian reached for him as soon as he was close enough, pulling Camris to stretch out on the bedroll with him.

“When we get home, I will prove to you that you’re beautiful, just you wait.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“It’s hard not to feel beautiful after having someone worship your body for an hour or two,” Dorian smiled as Camris tightened his hold on Dorian, “by the time I’m done with you, you’ll have no doubt.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

***

Dorian started on his plan as they started their ride back to Skyhold, only half-listening to the conversation around him as they rode.

“I think I’ll come back to Skyhold for another week or two if you don’t mind, I’d like to spend some time in your library and get the bows made for the hunters.”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, but you should send a note to your clan so they aren’t worried.”

“I will.”

“Two more weeks?”

Cyrel smiled at Cassandra, “to start.”

“You know you’re welcome to stay, right? If you wanted to leave your clan for a while, you’re welcome to join the Inquisition, or just stay in Skyhold until you’re ready to go back.”

“I’m First of our clan.”

“I know, and I understand that comes with responsibilities, but if you wanted something else for your life you can explore that at Skyhold. Something to consider at least.”

“I will. What’s next for you?”

“I need to figure out what is happening with the Wardens, I’m meeting Hawke in Crestwood soon, he’s just tracking down his Warden friend.”

“When are you leaving?” Cassandra asked, looking entirely pleased with the idea of Cyrel staying in Skyhold.

“I imagine I’ll have a day, maybe two, back at Skyhold, then on my way.”

“That’s it?” Dorian interjected as he realized what they were talking about.

“Yes…” Camris looked at Dorian quizzically, “why?”

“We had plans,” Dorian leveled Camris with a look, “remember?”

“Right,” Camris agreed once he picked up on Dorian’s meaning, “we’ll make sure that we have time before we go.”

***

“Inquisitor, welcome back,” Josephine greeted them at the gates, “how was your trip?”

“Good, we have a new agent starting with us,” Camris dismounted his hart, “how are things here?”

“Carrying on well,” Josephine checked her ever-present list, “I have a few things to discuss with you before you leave for Crestwood.”

“On that note, Josie, I need our Inquisitor tomorrow.”

“All day?”

“Preferably.”

“It’s important,” Cyrel smiled sympathetically at Josephine, “family matters.”

“He is scheduled to hold court in the morning,” Josephine checked the parchment, “but I could open his afternoon?”

“That will work,” Dorian handed his horse to one of the grooms, “I have some things I need to tend to, Amatus, did you want me to take your bag up to our quarters?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Dorian took Camris’ bag and tossed it over his shoulder, “I’ll see you for dinner?”

“You bet. I love you.”

Dorian was struck for a moment at how fortunate he was to finally be in a place where his partner could say that to him in a public place without fear of repercussion, “and I love you.”

***

“I owe you a favor, Cyrel, for helping me with Josephine this morning.”

“It was no problem,” Cyrel sat next to Dorian in the library, “I’m not sure what you have planned, and I _really_ don’t need the details, but it seemed important. I want to see Camris happy.”

“Me too,” Dorian set his book aside, “tell me, what do you think of Camris coming with me to Tevinter?”

“If it makes him happy, I’ll support him. Mamae might have a hard time with it, but I’m assuming it wouldn’t be a one-way trip, right? You’d be able to come back and visit?”

“We would, of course.”

“Then as much as we will miss him, I think he should go. I trust that you love him, and you will take care of him.”

“You do?”

“Of course,” Cyrel flipped open his book, “he looks at you the same way our father used to look at our mother. It’s different from a passing fling. You look at Camris like he’s your sun.”

“He is.”

***

They were kissing.

Not that it was a surprise to anyone, generally if they were alone Camris and Dorian would gravitate to one another. Dorian laughed as Camris flipped him onto his back, looming over him with dishevelled hair.

“Altus Pavus, you are a delight.”

“I’m glad you think so, Inquisitor.”

Camris laughed, and Dorian’s heart gave a pleasant thump at the sound.

“You have no idea, Vhenan.”

“As much as I’m enjoying this,” Dorian squirmed as Camris kissed his neck, “I was wondering if you would mind if we kept things above the belt tonight?”

“If you prefer, certainly,” Camris kissed Dorian’s cheek, “are you feeling alright?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Normally you’re the first one to get us nude.”

“Ah,” Dorian ran his hands down Camris’ back and over the swell of his bum, squeezing the muscle, “I thought it might be more satisfying to wait until tomorrow.”

“If by satisfying you mean I’m going to spend in less than a minute, I’m sure you’re right,” Camris sat up, straddling Dorian and smiling down at him, “you’re going to have to lead tomorrow. I’ve read about it, but I’ve never done it.”

“I’ll admit my own experience is slightly limited, but I’m looking forward to it. I was often on the receiving side of things.”

“We can have our first time however you think is best, I’m not phased.”

“I do like the idea of having you inside of me,” Dorian rubbed the sensitive skin of Camris’ thighs, “but I’ve been dying to be inside of you.”

“If you keep talking like that I’m going to fuck my own fist, Vhenan.”

“Can I watch?”

“Yes.”

Dorian reached for the ties of Camris’ smalls, “change of plans, Amatus, I’m sure you understand.”

***

Dorian woke the next morning far more nervous than he had expected. When Camris has asked if he was going to come and attend court Dorian declined.

“As much as I love watching you make big decisions, Amatus, I have things to prepare.”

“Do you want me to come bad as soon as I’m done, or do you want me to wait for you to come and get me?”

“I’ll come to find you, so don’t go far.”

“I’ll either be in the great hall or the tavern,” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, “don’t fuss. It will be perfect because it’s _you_ , alright?”

“I love you,” Dorian kissed Camris, “thank you for always making me feel important.”

“You are the most important person in all of Thedas,” Camris stole another kiss, “I’ll see you soon.”

***

“Alright Boss? You look exhausted,” Bull kicked a chair out from the table for Camris to sit in.

“Nobles are _exhausting_.” Camris sat heavily in the chair, taking the mug of ale from Varric as he offered it.

“Go easy on that,” Bull nodded to the cup, “you have plans with your man this afternoon.”

“Do I want to know _why_ everyone knows about my sex life?”

“Dorian’s been fluttering all around the keep this morning,” Varric sat beside Camris, “hard not to figure out that he’s either going to propose, or you have other plans.”

“Are you two here to give me a pep talk?”

“Nah, it’s not our business,” Varric pat Camris on the back.

“But if you need some pointers,” Bull offered, “I’m here.”

***

“There you are,” Dorian approached their table, “hiding from Josephine?”

“Actually Cyrel and Cassandra are keeping her busy, so I made it away untouched,” Camris stood, “shall we?”

“You two kids have fun, if anyone comes looking for you, I’ll tell them that you’re busy,” Varric gave a wave.

“I’ve heard you’ve been busy today,” Camris followed Dorian back toward the main building of Skyhold, “So naturally, our friends have figured out that something is going on.”

“Oh?”

“Varric says you’re either going to propose, or we’re going to take part in _other plans_.”

“Varric runs a spy network, so I’m hardly surprised that he figured it out.”

Dorian locked and checked the door as they entered their quarters, setting a ward over the door.

“Paranoid?”

“I don’t want to be interrupted,” Dorian started up the stairs, Camris following behind him, “it’s important to me that this is perfect.”

Camris found that the room had been cleaned, fresh bedding on their bed and the tub in the far corner steaming and full, “you have been busy.”

“Go,” Dorian waved to the tub, “have a soak.”

Camris made a show of sniffing his shirt before shrugging and walking over to the tub, smiling at the elfroot and lavender floating on the surface of the water.

“You don’t smell, but warm water is nice for relaxing muscles.”

“I’m letting you take the lead, I’ll do what you ask,” Camris undressed, settling into the tub with a groan.

“Long day?”

“Nobles are exhausting,” Camris closed his eyes as he soaked, listing to Dorian walking around the room, the sound of the curtains being closed, candles being lit, sheets being moved, and the drawer from the bedside cabinet being opened, “is there something specific I should be doing in this bath, or just relaxing?”

“Getting clean, as one does in the bath.”

Camris held his breath and sunk into the water, grateful to have a tub large enough to facilitate his frame as he wet his hair. When he broke the surface of the water and brushed his hair from his face he saw Dorian watching him with an amused smile.

“It’s a lot of hair,” Camris defended, “it’s easier to wash this way.”

“You do have a lot of hair,” Dorian agreed, “it’s lovely.”

“I’ve been thinking of cutting it.”

“Don’t you dare,” Dorian poured a glass of wine for Camris, walking it over to the tub, “in Tevinter you see men with beautiful long hair like yours, they wear it in styles that have braids and gold rings and beads throughout, it’s stunning.”

“So why don’t you grow your hair out?”

“Alas, it is not beneficial when you work with fire spells to have long hair.”

“Yes I imagine that’s true,” Camris reached for his soap, slowly washing his body and hair as Dorian watched.

“Wine?”

“I’ve already had some ale, Bull said I shouldn’t have too much.”

“A small glass of wine won’t harm you. The trick is not to be so intoxicated that you don’t notice when something starts to hurt.”

“Does it hurt often?”

“It can, if not properly prepared,” Dorian passed Camris the glass, “but I won’t let that happen to you.”

“I trust you,” Camris took a sip before setting the glass aside and sinking again into the water to wash his hair clean of soap.

“All clean?”

“I believe so,” Camris stood, ringing out his hair into the tub before stepping out carefully, accepting the towel offered by Dorian.

“Come sit by the fire with me while you dry,” Dorian led Camris over to the couch, “I wanted to speak with you first.”

“If this is the proposal I should probably get dressed first.”

“Alas I do not have a ring prepared for you,” Dorian sat on the couch, waiting for Camris to finish drying himself off join him, “tell me, when you pictured this happening for the first time, what did you think of?”

“Nothing specific.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I’ve thought of ways that it might come up. Us kissing on the bed leading to you making some grand declaration that you had to be inside of me _right now_ , or me taking you against the door of our quarters because we couldn’t stand to make it to the bed, but never specifically what it would look like, or what you would do.”

“Is there anything you don’t want to do?”

Camris shook his head as he took a sip of wine.

“Cam, I’m being serious.”

“Dorian,” Camris set the glass aside, “I want this with you because it’s _you_. I don’t want something scripted like from one of Varric’s novels. I want you to touch me like you want to touch me. I want a real experience with _you_ , Dorian Pavus, however that is.”

Dorian blushed, “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“How could you? I love you like crazy.”

“I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?”

“Probably.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for months, and now that the night is here I’m nervous.”

“Me too,” Camris nudged Dorian with his knee, “but even if it did go terribly wrong, we’ll still have fun.”

Dorian finished his wine, setting his glass next to Camris’ and stood, “join me on the bed, Amatus.”

Camris walked to the bed nude, crawling onto the bed and dropping against the pillows, watching as Dorian undressed and moved next to him.

“My beautiful brave man,” Dorian traced the scars on Camris’ stomach.

“Hmm,” Camris hummed and closed his eyes, “feels nice.”

“Roll onto your stomach, Amatus, I want to give you a massage.”

“Oh?” Camris rolled over and Dorian reached for some massage oil he had set aside previously, “was that in your plan?”

“Not exactly, but I think it will relax us both.”

Camris closed his eyes as Dorian poured some oil over his back, strong thumbs pressing into his shoulders.

“You’re so tense.”

“I had to deal with a noble who was caught stealing from the Inquisition today. Leliana wanted to put him to death, Josephine wanted to negotiate, Cullen, as usual, didn’t really care what I did because he thinks nobility is stupid.”

“Sensible man.”

“Yes, I like him too.”

“So what did you do, about the noble?”

“I took possession of his land in exchange for what he stole, and I made him work for Leliana. I couldn’t put a man to death over a couple of thousand gold, and us taking his land more than balanced out the debt. If she wants him dead, it can be her doing, not mine, but she likes opportunity so I think it’s more likely that she will put him to work.”

“That’s very clever.”

“I have my moments.”

Dorian thought after a while that Camris had fallen asleep, he kept still and quiet as Dorian moved from his shoulders to his lower back.

Dorian moved further down the bed, gently pushing the inside of Camris’ knee to encourage him to spread his legs. Camris moved quickly enough that Dorian realized that not only was Camris awake, he was also watching out of the corner of his eye.

“Ah, Amatus, festis bei umo canavarum.”

“The death of you? I certainly hope not.”

Dorian paused mid rub of one of Camris’ thighs, “I thought I said that in Tevene.”

“You did.”

“How did you understand?”

“Krem.”

“You’ve been taking lessons?”

“Some, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because if we’re going to move there I need to not sound like a complete idiot.”

Dorian was touched, focusing on massaging Camris’ legs as he tried to think of a response.

“Don’t get me wrong, Vhenan, my first language will always be Elvhen, and I don’t think I will ever be as fluent as I am in Common.”

“It’s a sign of status in Tevinter to speak Tevene. Most speak common with sprinkles of Tevene to show that they’re educated. To know any at all would impress them.”

“Well I can’t be ruining the Pavus name, can I?”

Dorian leaned forward, kissing Camris’ back, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Roll over,” Dorian moved back to give him room, “happy to see me?”

Camris glanced down at his cock, already hard against his stomach, and laughed, “always.”

“Would you like me to continue with your massage or move onto other things?”

“Whatever you like, Vhenan.”

Dorian poured more oil into his hands, straddling Camris to spread it over his chest and arms. Camris smiled up at him as he worked, seemingly content to let Dorian do whatever he felt comfortable with.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you might not be ready for this, because it seems like you’re deflecting.”

“I am _so_ nervous,” Dorian laughed, “I’m sorry.”

“We don’t have to do anything, Vhenan, but why don’t you start kissing me and we can go from there.”

“Excellent idea.”

Dorian kissed Camris gently, almost chaste were it not for the fact they were both nude. Camris smiled against Dorian’s lips, wrapping his arm over Dorian’s lower back and rocking up, just enough that their cocks barely brushed together, but Dorian moaned on contact.

They kissed for what felt like hours, and Camris true to his word never push Dorian to move past kissing.

Small noises of pleasure mixed with Elvhen terms of endearment fell from Camris’ lips whenever Dorian pulled away to catch his breath. Dorian considered leaving it at this for the night, holding Camris until they both fell asleep, but as Camris let out a little sound of desperation, Dorian knew it was time to move on.

Camris whimpered as Dorian pulled away.

“Never fear, Amatus, I just need the oil.”

Camris looked dazed, but let Dorian stretch to reach for the glass bottle.

“Spread your legs for me.”

Camris did as Dorian asked immediately, his yellow eyes watching Dorian as he poured some oil in his hand and warmed it with magic.

“I know you’ve done two fingers before, but we’ll need to go up to three to make sure I don’t hurt you.”

“I’ve done three on my own, I’ll be okay.”

Dorian kissed beside Camris’ bellybutton, “no need to show off.”

“I’m not,” Camris closed his eyes as Dorian’s finger brushed over the tight ring of muscle, “I wanted to know what it might feel like.”

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll show you,” Dorian pressed his finger inside of Camris, pleased when Camris arched his back in pleasure rather than tensing.

Camris was beautiful when he was in the throes of pleasure, one hand tangled in his hair, and the other reaching for Dorian, touching whatever skin he could reach. Dorian curled his finger, pressing against the bundle of nerves inside of him.

Camris groaned but didn’t push for more, holding himself still but relaxed until Dorian felt he was ready for a second.

“Another,” Dorian said more as a warning than a question, the second finger pressing in next to the first.

“ _Fuck_ , Vhenan,” Camris spread his legs further, “if you keep pressing that spot I won’t last for you to be inside of me.”

“Yes you will darling,” Dorian spread his fingers carefully, stretching Camris in preparation for a third.

By the time the third finger was inside of Camris with the help of a little more oil, Camris was practically writhing.

“Vhenan, please.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, your cock, _please_.”

Dorian gave one more twist of his fingers before withdrawing them, pouring more lube into his hand and slicking himself.

“You’re sure you’re ready?”

“Dorian, you either need to fuck me, or I am going to explode with frustration.”

Dorian pushed one of Camris’ knees up towards his chest, “hold this up for me, and don’t hide your face.”

Camris kept his eyes locked with Dorian’s as he moved closer, positioning his cock and carefully pushing forward.

Camris let out a hiss and winced, and Dorian held still, “deep breath, Amatus. It will take a few minutes to adjust.”

Camris nodded, taking a deep breath and wrapping his other leg around Dorian’s back, urging him forward.

“Don’t rush it,” Dorian resisted Camris’ pull, “we have all night.”

Camris rolled his hips, sinking further onto Dorian’s cock. Dorian watched, keeping his eyes on where he was _finally_ joined with Camris as each inch of him sunk into the warm tight heat. It took longer than Dorian would have expected, but when his hips met the curve of Camris’ bum he heard Camris let out a sigh of relief.

“How does it feel?”

“It burns a bit,” Camris forced his eyes open and looked up at Dorian, “how does it feel for you?”

“Magical. Perfect.”

Dorian noticed that Camris’ cock had softened a bit and reached between them, stroking him as he took the time to adjust. It wasn’t long before Camris was hard and leaking in his hand, trying to rock back against Dorian’s cock.

“Move, Vhenan. I want to feel what it’s like.”

Dorian took Camris’ hand, bringing it to his cock before giving an experimental thrust.

Camris’ mouth dropped open and a soft “ _oh_ ,” fell from his lips.

“Okay?”

Camris nodded, “faster.”

It wasn’t fast, not by any stretch, but they moved together beautifully. Camris was always responsive, but this had him completely consumed. Each moan and gasp were precious to Dorian, and he did his best to memorize the way that Camris was looking at him as they moved.

“Kiss me,” Camris reached for Dorian with his free hand.

Dorian lurched forward, his hips rolling in stronger thrusts as their lips met in a frantic kiss, it was just luck that had him hit against the pleasurable spot inside of Camris.

“ _Creators,_ ” Camris moaned, “do that again.”

It became Dorian’s single focus at that moment to watch Camris spend, his own pleasure driven from his mind as he grit his jaw and did the same roll of his hips.

“ _Yes_ ,” Camris was trembling now, his hand on Dorian’s shoulder scratching deep red marks into his skin.

Dorian felt Camris start to flutter around him, and he bit the inside of his lip to keep from spending.

“Dorian,” Camris looked wild, his hair fanned out around him, his eyes mostly black from his blown-out pupils, his cheeks flushed, “so good.”

Dorian was fighting a losing battle, the sound of skin against skin, the sight of Camris stroking himself with increasing intensity, each moan and flutter around his cock encased in the silken heat of Camris’ body was threatening to send Dorian over the edge.

In an act of desperation, he leaned forward to Camris’ ear, whispering, “come on, Amatus, I want to watch you spend.”

It was a moment of inspiration that followed up his statement with a soft bite to Camris’ ear lobe.

Camris was always beautiful at the height of his pleasure, but this was something else. Camris _keened_ , a mix of Dorian’s name, Vhenan, and some other Elvhen curse as he suddenly clamped down around Dorian’s cock and spent over his hand.

Dorian fucked him through it, only a few thrusts behind him as he buried himself inside of Camris, spilling moments later.

Dorian gasped, his vision coming up in spots as his body and mind slowly regained focus on the situation, moving to pull from Camris.

“Don’t,” Camris held him in place with his legs, “just give me a second.”

Dorian glanced up and to his panic found tears trailing down Camris’ cheeks, “did I hurt you?”

“No,” Camris laughed, “happy tears, never fear.”

“You’re certain?”

“Positive,” Camris wiped at his face, before letting out a big breath, “I’ve never had sex like that before.”

“I know what you mean,” Dorian kissed Camris’ forehead, “that was wonderful.”

“it was,” Camris agreed, pulling Dorian to settle his weight against his chest, regardless of the mess, “I like the feeling of you inside of me.”

“What’s left of me,” Dorian joked as he felt himself start to soften, “did I live up to your expectations?”

“And then some.”

***

Dorian settled into bed with Camris as the moon started to rise over Skyhold, pulling him close.

“I’m glad we waited, that was perfect.”

“I couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Dorian?”

“Yes?” Dorian found Camris looking at him with a warm smile.

“I can’t wait to start a life with you.”

Dorian tried to conceal the shock at Camris’ words, clearly without success as Camris frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dorian shook his head, “it’s just, this is when they have all left before. You know, they wanted me in bed, we have our night, and they go. It’s strange to hear you say that you’re looking forward to a future with me.”

“Well I don’t understand how they could have possibly left you after a performance like that,” Camris joked to break the mood, “but let me say this just so you can remember it if you’re ever feeling uncertain. I love you, I loved the feeling of having you inside of me, I can’t wait to marry you, move to Tevinter, and keep you captive in our bedroom so we can do that every night.”

Dorian could almost picture it. If he closed his eyes he could hear the market outside the window, he could feel the warm breeze coming in with the scents of mint and tobacco, he could count the freckles across Camris’ back from the sun making the few into the many.

“The things you say, Amatus.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight variation of canon in this chapter, simply because I had an idea in the shower and I thought I would write it. 
> 
> Also, if you're interested in the vest I describe in this chapter, you can find them here: https://www.instagram.com/innovacorsetry/

Crestwood had led them to the Western Approach. Dorian hadn’t been surprised, but still a little heartbroken to see the blood magic taking over the Wardens, something that Camris had picked up on immediately.

Dorian clung to Camris that night, grateful that Camris had thought to move the tent away from the others so Dorian could have his breakdown in relative privacy.

“He will never hurt you like that again,” Camris whispered into Dorian’s hair, “I going to come with you, and my only job in Tevinter will be to keep you safe. Nothing is going to change, and we’ll still love each other, and touch each other, and be just as affectionate, okay?”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can, and I do. No one is going to take you from me.”

Dorian didn’t have the energy to argue, instead, he buried his face against Camris’ neck and let him whisper all the sweet promises that he hoped desperately were true.

***

It had only gotten worse when they arrived back to Skyhold, and Dorian found the letter waiting for him in their quarters.

He had dropped his wine glass as he read it, the shattering of glass drawing Camris’ attention away from his reports.

“What is it?”

“My father,” Dorian waved his hands over the glass, putting it back together with a spell, “is coming to visit. He wishes to offer Tevinter’s aid.”

“How long until he arrives?”

“A week.”

***

Dorian had known that he had friends in Skyhold, the late-night drinking and poker games had proven that, but Dorian still hadn’t expected them to jump to action the way that they did.

Varric had sent his spies to the roads as soon as Dorian had mentioned what was going on, keeping an eye on Dorian’s father as he made his way to Skyhold and giving Dorian regular updates.

Leliana had started on obtaining blackmail information, just in case.

Blackwall had turned him a smaller staff on his lathe, only two feet long, and Dagna had enchanted it. Once Camris saw it, he built a small clip to attach it to their bed so Dorian could reach it at night.

Bull had pulled the Chargers back to Skyhold, preparing them to stand watch by the doors to their quarters, Cullen stationing soldiers there while they rested.

Vivienne had set up wards, alerts, and alarms that would chime in the great hall should an attack happen.

Josephine had prepared quarters for his father, in the middle of the Keep. She had specifically picked a room with only one exit, and Cassandra had set up a rotation of guards to watch over that section of the ramparts.

Sera had graciously offered to shank him, should he try anything stupid.

And Camris…

Camris was everywhere, he started taking extra classes with Krem at night, and refining his close combat skills with Cyrel during the day. He spent hours speaking and plotting with Leliana and Josephine, all while making sure that when Dorian needed him, he was right there.

It was the family that Dorian had always hoped to have.

“How are you feeling?”

“Terrified,” Dorian answered Cyrel, “my family is high up in the standings of Tevinter, but for him to come alone? I’m concerned there’s an ulterior motive.”

“Camris won’t let him hurt you,” Cyrel pat Dorian on the shoulder, “we won’t, either.”

“I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so safe.”

“Good,” Cyrel rubbed Dorian’s back affectionately. “Cassandra has detailed no less than four ways she plans on killing your father. She doesn’t even know what he did, she just hates him on your behalf.”

“She’s a lovely woman.”

“I just got word, Sparkler, your dad should be here by tomorrow at Lunch.”

Dorian took a deep breath and nodded, “alright. Does Cam know?”

“Of course I know,” Camris’ voice came from behind him, and he felt Camris kiss his cheek, “I have five agents on him.”

***

Dorian couldn’t settle, rolling over to face Camris as he slept. It was terrifying, not knowing what was going to happen over the next few days.

“Cam?”

Camris’ eyelids fluttered, and he blinked a few times to focus them, “Vhenan? Why are you still awake?”

“I’m scared.”

Camris pulled Dorian to him, “I won’t let him hurt you, or take you back before your ready. Remember, we go together or not at all.”

“Why is he coming?”

“I have no idea, but you won’t be alone when he gets here.”

“I’m glad I have you.”

“Not nearly as glad as I am to have you, _emma lath_.”

“What does that mean?”

“My love,” Camris stretched, “now, if you’re not ready to sleep yet, what shall we do to pass the time?”

“Go back to sleep, Amatus, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I don’t know,” Camris pushed Dorian onto his back, straddling him before leaning down to kiss him softly, “I have some ideas.”

“Again?”

“Always.”

***

Dorian was pacing in the great hall, Cyrel watching over him with concern as Camris had a last-minute meeting with Leliana in his quarters.

“Calm down, Lethalin, you’ll be dead from stress before your father even arrives.”

“Why is Camris upstairs?”

“I’m not sure, he only told me that he had a meeting with Leliana.”

“They never meet upstairs.”

“I know,” Cyrel cut Dorian off, placing his hands on Dorian’s shoulders, “stop, please. I promised Camris I would watch you and you’re making me feel sick.”

“You don’t understand what this man did to me.”

“I do, actually, Camris explained,” Cyrel pulled Dorian into a hug, “you have a new family now, Dorian. We won’t let your old one hurt you.”

The door to the great hall opened, and Dorian tensed in Cyrel’s arms. Varric glanced up and caught sight of Dorian’s father, nodding to Bull who knocked on Camris’ bedroom door twice.

“Father,” Dorian greeted, “I trust your trip went well.”

“Dorian,” Halward greeted him, “yes, my journey was fine.”

The door to their quarters opened and there was a sudden chatter in the room, Dorian glanced over and felt his jaw drop.

Gone were Camris’ usual Dalish leathers, instead, he wore something which looked like a combination of Dalish attire and Tevinter fashion.

Camris wore well-tailored black leather pants, and a black shirt that had golden embroidery throughout that Dorian knew matched his tattoos. What was most striking was a fitted vest he wore over top of the shirt.

Dorian had mentioned them once during a conversation about Tevinter. It had been an off-hand remark that Dorian had thought that corseting was fashionable, and how many men in Tevinter would wear corseted vests. Never had Dorian thought he would buy one, but there walking toward him was Camris in a tall corseted vest.

It was a deep red, with bright gold over the channels that held the bones. The closures in the front were also gold and accentuated the deep plunge of the neckline. Dorian didn’t have to look at the back to know that it had been laced expertly, accentuating the strong shoulders and slim waist that Dorian had spent many nights admiring.

Camris had also done his hair, an elaborate half-up half-down style with a handful of small braids around his face and ears which had dozens of golden rings weaved through them.

Camris was a walking statement of their relationship, a perfect mix of Dalish and Tevinter combined, and he walked toward Dorian and Halward with such confidence that the crowd moved out of his way.

“Magister Pavus,” Camris stopped beside Dorian, and gave a small bow, respectful but not yielding, “ _avanna_. Welcome to Skyhold.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor Lavellan,” Halward returned the bow, “it is nice to see you again.”

“Hopefully under happier circumstances,” Camris smiled at Dorian and he noticed for the first time that Camris was wearing make-up, too.

It was subtle, just a brush of gold powder over his lids, but it occurred to Dorian that they _matched_. Dorian had pulled out his best robes that morning, deep reds and golds, and had explained to Camris that they were the colours of house Pavus.

Camris had painted himself in the palate of his home, and Dorian couldn’t help but smile back.

“Nice of you to join us, Inquisitor.”

“Apologies, Vhenan, I needed to speak with my Spymaster. Magister Pavus, would you like to join us in the gardens? I’ll have tea prepared.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

***

Camris was _amazing_.

Dorian had stopped talking a twenty minutes ago, and Camris was _easily_ carrying on a conversation with his father about Tevinter. It was astounding.

“You’re quite educated in magic, Inquisitor.”

“Please, call me Camris,” Camris poured more tea for Dorian and Halward, taking care to pour for Halward first, “I was fortunate that both of my brothers are mages, but being Dalish kept them out of Templar control. I’ve seen and grown up with magic in its most organic form, so I’ve never had a fear of it. Of course, your son’s magic was something new to me. It did take some time to get used to the person I had just shot standing up and working for me. Scared the life out of me the first few times.”

Halward laughed, _laughed_ , Dorian watched with interest.

“Dorian has always been a powerful mage, I knew he was destined for great things.”

“His research has been a huge asset to us,” Camris smiled at Dorian, “he was the one who unraveled what, or who, Corypheus was. If not for Dorian, we’d still be scrambling.”

“I’m proud to hear he has done such fine work.”

“As you should be,” there was an edge to Camris’ voice now, but his smile never faltered.

“Father,” Dorian interjected, “what exactly brings you here? You hate the south, and while I would love to say this was a cheery visit with you only son, we both know better.”

Halward frowned, “I wanted to see you.”

“Yes, that much is obvious, but _why_?”

“Alexius,” Halward rubbed his hands together in a rare sign of stress, “was found to be connected to the Venetori that you wrote home about. The Magisterium found that he had been corrupting the time magic that you were working on, and that he might have made a deal with Corypheus to help Felix.”

Dorian sat back as if he had been struck and Camris placed a reassuring hand on his back, “and what’s happened to Felix?”

“The Magisterium sent agents to Alexius home and found evidence of the plot. He was detained, and Felix died a few days later.”

“I…see.”

“Was he ill?” Camris asked Dorian softly.

“He had the Blight.”

Camris winced, “I see, I’m sorry, Dorian.”

“Not your fault, Amatus,” Dorian noticed that his father perked up at the word, “so you came to tell me my friend had died?”

“No, not only that,” Halward sat forward in his chair, “Tevinter has started to notice changes from the rift. Demons where there weren’t demons before, red lyrium. Inquisitor, Camris, you have to understand, Tevinter has more mages than anywhere else. Just the proximity to red lyrium…”

“Very dangerous indeed.”

“The Magisterium wanted to reach out to the Inquisition, to try and determine what you’re doing to help close the breach. When I told them that you were working with the Inquisition, Dorian, they asked me to come. I told them that you likely didn’t want to see me, so they want to offer an exchange.”

“An exchange of what?”

“They will give you Alexius, in exchange for information about the Inquisition and its plans to stop Corypheus. They’re frightened, Dorian, that if this is not stopped soon that there won’t be a sane mage left in Tevinter. If Corypheus isn’t stopped, you might not have a home to return to.”

“Skyhold is my home,” Dorian chewed on his thumbnail, “I’m not sure I can make this decision. Camris?”

“Vhenan, this is complicated,” Camris tapped his finger on the table as he considered, “Tevinter is not known for being cooperative with Ferelden, which I suppose is understandable when so many of your slaves escape here. This could be an opportunity for a relationship that has been unseen in generations.”

“But…”

“It could also be the Magisterium taking advantage of the chaos the Ferelden circles are in at the moment to try and corrupt Ferelden into a similar way of living. Given how fragile Ferelden is right now, to make this decision rashly could be catastrophic.”

“For what it’s worth, Camris, I don’t believe the Magisterium has any interest in the Ferelden mages,” Halward added, “they’re frightened about _our_ mages.”

“Alexius,” Camris spoke to Dorian, “your mentor?”

“Yes,” Dorian ran his finger over the space his ring used to sit, “my mentor.”

“You were close, yes?”

“He was like the father I always wanted,” Dorian noticed how Halward flinched, “he was excited about my ideas, and had no interest in my personal life. We fell out of touch a few years before I came to the Inquisition. I had been looking forward to speaking with him again when we went back.”

“What would you do, if it were your choice?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

“I don’t think you’re wrong to worry about the Magisterium, but I don’t think my father is lying, either. I don’t believe their focus is on the Ferelden mages, to be honest, they aren’t fond of them anyway. Their education is so stunted they are of limited use. Left unchecked, that might change, but I think for now they are honestly frightened of the effect Corypheus might be having on Tevinter.”

“And Alexius?”

Dorian sighed, “I wouldn’t beg you for leniency, Amatus, it wouldn’t be right of me to do so. I can tell you that Alexius was a brilliant mind, and he understood magic like no other.”

Camris glanced at the door, waving at one of Josephine’s scribes to come over, “summon the war counsel please, I need to speak with them.”

***

It had been a long afternoon, and as the sunset in the courtyard, Camris called their discussions to a close.

“I appreciate everyone's time,” Camris spoke over Josephine before she went into another speech about the importance of Tevinter relationships, “but this is not a decision to be made after one day of consideration. Magister Pavus, we have had a room prepared for you, if you would be so kind to join us for further discussion tomorrow with Dorian and the others, maybe we can find a resolution.”

“I would be happy to help, Inquisitor.”

“Josephine, I will love you forever if you tell me that dinner has been prepared.”

“Of course, we had Dalish food prepared with the help of your brother in honor of your quest.”

“Wonderful, let’s retire to the great hall.”

“Do you mind if I take a moment with Dorian?”

“Not at all,” Camris smiled at Halward, “Leliana, could you please arrange for the archers on the ramparts.”

“At once, Inquisitor,” Leliana gave a bow and walked off quickly.

“I’m willing to play nice, Halward, because I love your son,” Camris faced Halward directly and Dorian watched his father shrink, “but my archers have been instructed to shoot on sight of any spellwork from you. If you so much as raise a finger toward him, you will die where you stand, understood?”

“I would not hurt my son, Inquisitor.”

Camris leaned further into Halward’s space, whispering low and dangerous, “ _vishante kaffas,_ Halward.”

Halward had the decency to look embarrassed, “I have learned from my mistake.”

“I certainly hope so, if not, you won’t escape Skyhold,” Camris turned to Dorian, “are you alright if I leave?”

“I’ll call you if I need you,” Dorian promised as he watched the archers line the rooftop, arrows readied, “I’ll be fine, Amatus.”

“I’ll give you half an hour, if I don’t see you, I’m coming to get you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, before nodding to Cullen and stepping through the door.

“He’s quite protective of you.”

“He has reason to be,” Dorian moved further into the garden, both to distance himself from prying ears at the door and give the archers a clearer shot.

“You…enjoy it here?”

“I do.”

“More than just your relationship with the Inquisitor?”

“Yes,” Dorian sat on one of the benches, “they care about me here. Not how I look to others, or my reputation, just _me_. I have friends, and yes, I have Camris.”

“Your Amatus,” Halward sat next to Dorian, “you love him?”

“With everything I am.”

“What about Tevinter, coming home?”

“He wants to come with me, help me change things. If he can’t come with me, I won’t be coming back.”

“I see.”

“I understand that you wanted an heir, and you wanted me to marry to carry on the Pavus legacy,” Dorian looked up at the night sky, “Tevinter had become a prison to me. I was just as locked up in our home as Alexius is right now. I always wanted you to understand that.”

“Before…I thought I did,” Halward shook his head, “what I did, I was just trying to protect you.”

“No, Father, as we discussed you were trying to protect _you_.”

“Maybe it was a little of both,” Halward sighed and Dorian noticed for the first time how much his father had aged over the past few months, “I used to dread when you would come home from your _study dates_. Your makeup a mess as you would rush to your room. We wouldn’t see you for days, and your mother would fuss that _another_ boy had broken your heart. Arranged marriages aren’t always unhappy, Dorian, and your mother and I worried about you constantly. I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I truly thought you would be happy, after.”

“I’m happy with Camris.”

“I can see that, and I am glad for you. He seems to be quite a unique person.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“He speaks Tevene?”

“He took it upon himself to learn when we started courting, we have a Soporati here, Camris asked him for lessons.”

“Without you asking?”

“Without me asking,” Dorian confirmed, “I never bothered to learn Elvhen, so I didn’t assume that he would learn Tevene. I also wasn’t aware that he was so educated on the politics of Tevinter until he started speaking with you.”

“You know,” Halward spoke softly, “I did want to see you. I haven’t played a good game of chess since you left.”

Dorian studied his father's face, “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you for what you did.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Halward frowned, “but I hope you believe that I am sorry.”

“Not yet, but maybe by the end of our visit I will. Come, before my Amatus has you killed.”

“I’ll follow you,” Halward kept close to Dorian, a cautious eye on the archers, “I’m surprised they didn’t disarm me when I arrived.”

“They don’t need to; they have multiple agents watching you. You wouldn’t be able to finish an incantation before they were on you,” Dorian held the door open for his father, “my friends were worried when you sent word you were coming that we were going to have a repeat of the last bout of blood magic.”

“Vhenan,” Camris was next to Dorian in an instant, “alright?”

“Wonderful, Amatus, I hear we’re having Dalish food.”

“So Cyrel tells me,” Camris waved his brother over, “Magister Pavus, meet my brother, Cyrel Sabrae.”

“Sabrae?” Dorian arched his eyebrow, “not Lavellan?”

“Our surname reflects our clan, Lethalin, I am the First in clan Sabrae. My name changed when I was moved. It is nice to meet you, Magister Pavus. Your son is a remarkable man.”

“Thank you, I’m very proud of him.”

“If you hurt him while you’re here, I’ll turn you to ash where you stand.”

Cyrel’s expression never changed the same pleasant smile on his face as when he had explained his name to Dorian.

“Trust me, that is very understood.”

“See that it is,” Camris’ took Dorian’s hand, “shall we have dinner?”

***

Camris stood after dinner had finished, “Magister Pavus, let me escort you to your quarters. Your bags were already sent up.”

“Thank you,” Halward gave a small bow, “I’ll see you in the morning, Dorian.”

“Goodnight, Father.”

Camris led Halward to the door, and out of sight of Dorian. A moment later, one of Leliana’s agents followed.

“Your dad is a right cock, Dorian,” Sera blew a loud raspberry as they left.

“You’re not wrong.”

***

“I suppose I should ask what your intention is with my son, but I feel as if I’ve lost the privilege.”

“You lost that privilege, yes, but because I respect Dorian I’ll answer you,” Camris led them across the training yard, walking slowly to allow for conversation, “my plan with your son is to love him completely and unapologetically. I plan to support him, in whatever it is that he wants to do, for as long as he will allow me to be by his side. I plan to make him happy, disgustingly so, every single day. I want to do all of these things, Halward, because that’s what your son does for me. We’re partners, I depend on him as he depends on me.”

“As a father, I suppose I could ask for nothing more.”

“I know what you wanted from Dorian, but you must see now how he is so much more than who he shares his bed with. Regardless of your family line, Dorian is someone to be proud of.”

“I know that now.”

“Good.”

“Dorian tells me that you’re planning on coming to Tevinter with him.”

“I hope to.”

“I think you’ll do quite well,” Halward stopped for a moment to look over the walls of the ramparts, “were it not for the tattoos and the ears I would have assumed you were a mart of the Magisterium by our conversation earlier. Dorian told me you took Tevene lessons with a Soporati.”

“Krem, yes.”

“Without Dorian asking you to.”

“That’s right.”

“You’re an interesting man, Inquisitor Lavellan.”

“As are you, Magister Pavus,” Camris stopped outside the door to Halward’s quarters, “in the interest of developing something in the way of a relationship with you, I will let you know that there is an armed guard stationed outside of your quarters with only one exit. Dorian and I also have security outside of our quarters. If you were intending on doing anything against Dorian during the night, don’t.”

“I have caused my son enough pain to last a lifetime, Inquisitor. I have no interest in causing more.”

***

“Camris?” Dorian called as he heard the door to their quarters open, “is that you?”

“Yes, Vhenan, just me.”

Camris came up the stairs with a smile, “I tucked your father into bed, he’s all set.”

“I don’t care about that,” Dorian waved the statement off, “but I do need to discuss that vest with you.”

“Do you like it?”

“Do I like it? How dare you keep it secret from me! Your _hair_ , Amatus, you look beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it all, I wanted to show you that I could fit in,” Camris watched Dorian walk over and reach for the vest, his fingers tracing the bones.

Dorian reached for the laces at the front of Camris’ pants, dropping to his knees in front of Camris, “let me show you my appreciation, Amatus.


	18. Chapter 18

“Today,” Dorian started as they cuddled on the bed, “I watched the man I love dazzle my asshole of a father. I saw him speak the language of my homeland and discuss the current political dealings of my countrymen without needing me for help, all while dressed as if he had arrived from Tevinter yesterday.”

“Did you?” Camris kissed Dorian’s forehead, “what was that like?”

“Beyond comprehension,” Dorian looked down to where their fingers were intertwined, “I’m not sure if I have the words to describe what it was like when you spoke to my father with such confidence. He’s feared in Tevinter. It was nice to see him taken down a peg.”

“Well, let us hope that I can impress him tomorrow, too.”

“Do you have a fancy outfit for tomorrow, too?”

“I do in fact and considering the stunning reception my clothing got me today I’m rather excited to see your reaction.”

“Another vest?”

“No, I only had one of those made.”

“In House Pavus colours I noticed.”

“As my brother explained, Vhenan, our surname is dependent on our clan. I won’t be going back to Lavellan after the Inquisition. If we’re going to Tevinter and living together…”

“You’ll be a Pavus?”

“I’d be a Pavus.”

“Dorian and Camris Pavus,” Dorian couldn’t help but smile, “sounds rather dashing don’t you think?”

“I do.”

“You were just missing one thing today, Amatus.”

“What’s that?”

“Jewelry.”

“Leliana said as much, but I’ll let you in on a secret.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t own any,” Camris laughed, “what use does a Dalish elf have for a ring? Unless you’re married or have your ears pierced, you wouldn’t see many Elvhen wearing gold.”

“I see,” Dorian ran his thumb over the various rings on his fingers, “we’ll have to change that.”

***

It was wonderful to watch Camris get ready in the morning.

Camris carefully braided his hair, weaving various ribbons of gold and red through it. His makeup was a dark red and gold smoky eye mixed with a deep kohl liner over his lashes.

His outfit was more Dalish then it had been the day before, black leather pants with a plain black shirt, his jacket was the star of the show. High collared, it was a take on the jackets that Dorian often saw Keepers wear when they were near Dalish clans.

The jacket was the same deep red of Dorian’s robes, gold embroidery throughout in distinctly Dalish patterns covered the cuffs and bottom hem of the jacket.

“I’m sorry Amatus, you can’t go out like that.”

“Oh?”

“I must strip you from those clothes immediately.”

Camris smiled, “later. We have important talks today, things we likely shouldn’t postpone.”

“As if I’m going to be able to pay attention when you look like that.”

Camris offered Dorian his arm, “the sooner we start the sooner we can be finished.”

“You’re missing one thing,” Dorian pulled one of his rings from his finger, taking Camris’ hand and sliding it onto his finger, “there, perfect.”

Camris held out his hand, admiring the jewelry, “it’s beautiful, does it mean something specific?”

“It’s one of my Pavus rings,” Dorian showed a similar one on his other hand, “Pavus translates to peacock, which while it could have been used as an insult, my grandfather decided to make our sigil. It’s gold, because of course it is, and the eyes of the feathers have been set with rubies and garnet.”

“And the reason why you put it on my ring finger of my left hand?”

Camris was asking delicately, but Dorian felt his heart stutter when he realized it was true. It had been a coincidence; Dorian just happened to wear his family ring on his left ring finger, and when he had upgraded to the larger setting had moved the older one onto his right hand.

“That’s the finger I wear mine on,” Dorian was transfixed now that Camris has brought it up, the bright gold ring against Camris’ skin. His family sigil for all to see.

 _Maker_ , Dorian shook his head to clear it, _it’s like I’ve signed my name on him_.

“Should I move it to another finger, to avoid confusion?” Camris was still treading lightly, his eyes carefully studying Dorian’s face.

He could say yes, Dorian swallowed heavily, play it off like an accident, and move on.

“No,” Dorian’s voice cracked, ready for Camris to reject the idea, “no, I rather like it there.”

“Me too,” Camris said quietly, straightening the ring so it sat properly.

Dorian rubbed at his chest, a happy ache threatening to send his heart through his ribs, “now that we have that settled, shall we go and see my father?”

“After you, emma lath.”

***

The inner-circle had noticed the ring immediately, but none of them commented. Nerves or an understanding of the delicate situation Dorian and Camris were in, Dorian wasn’t sure, but he appreciated their distraction.

Dorian’s father had also picked up on the ring immediately.

“Good morning, Inquisitor,” Halward greeted, his eyes catching the ring for a moment too long before glancing up at Camris’ face.

“Good morning, Magister Pavus,” Camris sat at the head of the table, Dorian to his right, “how are you this morning? Did you sleep well?”

“Very well, though slightly cold. Tevinter is much warmer.”

“So I’ve heard,” Camris smiled as Josephine walked over, “good morning Josie.”

“Inquisitor,” Josephine held up her ever-present clipboard, “I understand discussions about the Tevinter partnership are to continue today.”

“If Magister Pavus is feeling up to it.”

“I would be happy to help, Inquisitor.”

“We do have one matter to deal with before we start. Once you’re done breakfast, please let me know and I will arrange to have the prisoner brought forward for judgement.”

“Alright,” Camris agreed, “do you have a summary for me?”

“Yes,” Josephine handed a piece of parchment to Camris, “enjoy your breakfast, Inquisitor.”

“Thank you,” Camris started to read the parchment, calling out to Josephine as she started to walk away, “have you eaten yet, Josie?”

“Not yet.”

“Come, sit, eat,” Camris gestured to an empty chair across from Dorian, “I can’t have you not eating.”

“There is work to be done.”

“There is always work to be done, Ambassador, but the Inquisition doesn’t pay you to work yourself to death. Come have breakfast with us.”

Dorian watched his father take in the interaction, his eyes flicking back and forth between Josephine and Camris with poorly concealed interest.

“How’s your sister?” Camris asked Josephine as he took a sip of tea.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about your dance with her at the Winter Palace. She was heartbroken when I told her that you were involved with Dorian.”

“Aw,” Camris helped himself to some fruit that had been laid out in an elaborate display, “that’s very kind.”

“You’re charming, Amatus, of course she was taken with you.”

“The only opinion I worry about is yours, Vhenan.”

***

“I suppose we should address this matter so we can get started,” Camris stood, “my apologies, Magister Pavus, I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“No problem at all, Inquisitor.”

Camris walked up to the throne, recently updated as a gift from Empress Celene, and sat in the large Orlesian chair.

Cullen gave a nod to one of the Templars nearby, and they ventured toward the prison.

It only took a few minutes, and a woman was brought before Camris in chains, a Templar on either side of her. She was young, Human, and _filthy_.

“Before you is Nina Weiss,” Josephine explained, “she was captured as she was caught stealing from an Inquisition camp. When our scouts attempted to detain her, she badly injured them with magic.”

Nina didn’t look up, but Dorian could hear her softly crying.

“Lady Weiss,” Camris spoke softly, “would you please tell me what happened?”

“It was an accident,” Nina’s voice was barely more than a whisper, “I didn’t know the chest was for the Inquisition.”

“What were you looking for?”

“Food,” Nina glanced up at Camris, tear tracks leaving streaks of clean skin, “I was just hungry.”

“Where are you from? Where are your family?”

“I was from the Circle near Lake Calenhad. I was new, I hadn’t even done my Harrowing when the Circles fell. I tried to go back home, but my parents were scared that I would bring the Templars to their doorstep, so they sent me away.”

“And you’ve been on your own since then?”

“Yes.”

“Forgive my ignorance, I have a hard time judging ages, how old are you?”

“Just eighteen.”

“Commander, is Lady Weiss known to you?”

“No, Inquisitor. I believe I had left the Circle Tower before she joined.”

“Ambassador, will our scouts recover?”

“Yes, Inquisitor. They were not serious injuries.”

Camris rubbed his chin as he considered the situation, glancing to Dorian, “Altus Pavus, what are your thoughts on the matter?”

“I would be curious to know what sort of education she had received at the Circle. Magic will manifest itself when a new user is frightened. It’s entirely possible that she hurt our scouts without ever meaning to.”

“Cullen?”

“Dorian’s right, we saw it all the time. Lady Weiss should have been going through training to help control her magic, but with the Circles going through something in the way of a rebellion, her training was likely inadequate.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt them,” Nina pleaded with Camris, “please, don’t make me Tranquil.”

“I promise you, Lady Weiss, you have no fear of that from me,” Camris gestured to the cuffs on her wrists, “unchain her please.”

The Templars glanced to Cullen before undoing the restraints, leaving Nina rubbing at her wrists.

“Lady Weiss, we have what I would call a situation,” Camris shifted in the throne, looking over Nina as he spoke, “we can’t tolerate theft, as I’m sure you can appreciate, given that we’re in the middle of a war resources are precious.”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“I don’t claim to understand magic, nor the challenges that it can bring to those who wield it, but I am fortunate to have two brothers who have magic, as well as my partner, so I do have some familiarity with it. I trust Dorian, and I trust Cullen, and it seems as if they both feel that what you lack is control. From my understanding, that control only comes with education.”

Camris looked over the crowd, “Madam Vivienne if you could join me please.”

Vivienne walked toward the throne, clearly pleased to have the attention drawn to her, “yes, Inquisitor.”

“Lady Weiss, this is Madam Vivienne of the Montsimmard Circle, one of the youngest full-fledged mages in Circle history. While I don’t agree with circles myself, Vivienne has always pressed upon me how important it is to educate young mages such as yourself. Madam Vivienne, how would you like an apprentice?”

“An interesting idea,” Vivienne looked over Nina, “do you have something specific you enjoy studying?”

“Healing potions, Madam.”

“Is that so?” Vivienne turned to Camris, “I would be willing to take this on as a trial basis.”

“Alright. Nina Weiss, you will be tasked with aiding Madam Vivienne in her magical studies. Once you are ready, the Templars of the Inquisition will oversee your Harrowing, at which point you may stay with the Inquisition as one of our mages, or, leave to pursue other interests.”

Nina burst into tears, throwing herself to the floor at Camris’ feet, “thank you, Inquisitor.”

Camris was up in an instant, helping Nina to her feet, “now, now, none of that.”

Camris pulled a handkerchief from his jacket, wiping the tears from Nina’s face, “Cyrel, may I borrow you please.”

Cyrel approached Nina with a reassuring smile, “Camris?”

“Her wrists are raw from the chains; would you be able to heal them?”

“Certainly,” Cyrel held his hands out to Nina, “if you don’t mind?”

Nina looked at Camris with a worried expression.

“It’s alright, that’s my brother, he won’t hurt you.”

Nina extended her hands, even caked in mud Dorian could see the marks on her wrists.

“This will just take a moment,” Cyrel worked on healing the wounds as Camris turned to Josephine and Vivienne.

“Get her some clean robes, give her a room with the other mages, and make sure she _eats_ before she starts on her studies. Josephine, I want to put a rush on our repairs to the prison. I understand she committed a crime, but our prisoners do not need to look like _that_ before they come to court.”

“Of course, Inquisitor.” Josephine made some notes, “right away.”

“Take a few minutes to get her settled, when you’re ready we’ll speak with Magister Pavus.”

Halward was transfixed, and Dorian cleared his throat to get his attention, “thoughts?”

“Not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“From what I’ve read, that she would have been made Tranquil.”

“Had the Inquisitor been anyone but Camris, I think you’re likely right.”

***

“So we’re agreed,” Camris spoke to everyone who had joined them in Josephine’s office many hours later, “we will provide Tevinter information, select information, about our knowledge of Corypheus and the Inquisition’s plans. In doing so, Alexius will be given to us as a prisoner.”

“Yes, Inquisitor,” Josephine agreed, reviewing her notes, “and this agreement is contingent upon Magister Pavus being our point of contact.”

“The Magisterium will agree to those terms, understanding that certain pieces of information, such as the location of the free mages, will not be provided.”

“it sounds as if we have a deal, Magister Pavus,” Camris extended his hand which Halward accepted.

“If you have a raven, I will send a note to the Magisterium to have Alexius transported to Skyhold.”

“You’re welcome to use one of Leliana’s; however, she will read the letter before it’s sent, you understand.”

“Of course.”

“Let’s give Josephine a few minutes to draw up a copy of our negotiations, you can include that with your letter.”

“I would appreciate that, Inquisitor.”

“Now,” Camris gestured to the door, “let me show you something as an act of good faith. Dorian, join us.”

Josephine set to work as Camris led Halward and Dorian toward the War Room, opening the large door and waving for them to enter.

“Dorian, could you get the candles?”

Dorian waved his hand, the candles in the room bursting into flame. The room suddenly brightened, and Dorian gasped as the immense map drew his attention.

“The Inquisition war map,” Camris waved over the table as he walked around it, “all missions, past, present, and future, that we are currently working on.”

“Which is which?” Dorian stepped closer, keeping his hands clasped behind his back for fear of accidentally moving something, Halward standing beside him.

“The big flags are things coming,” Camris pointed out the large one in the middle of the map, “Adamant.”

“The small ones are the things we’ve already completed,” Camris pointed out a few, “guard towers in the Hinterlands, your research in Tevinter, contacting Dagna, things like that. The others are things that are going on currently. I have Leliana in contact with the with a noble family in Orlais for information on a coup, Cullen has Barris looking into a potential abomination near Lothering, Josephine is sourcing trade routes near all of the places we’ve established camps.”

“Amatus,” Dorian walked around the map until he was beside Camris, “this is amazing, I had no idea you had accomplished so much.”

“We’ve accomplished these things, Vhenan, not just me.”

“Incredible, Inquisitor,” Halward agreed with Dorian, “remarkable how much you’ve accomplished in so little time.”

“You should thank your son for that,” Camris added a new marker, a small flag pressed into the map near the boarder to Tevinter, “if I didn’t have Dorian’s support most of these things would have been nothing but a dream. Suledin Keep, I only took because Dorian was with me, the same goes for Caer Bronach. They will write about your son in the history books, spinning a tale of how a Tevinter mage joined the Inquisition to help right the wrongs of his homeland. If we are successful, Magister Pavus, Dorian’s name will help Tevinter survive the downfall that is surely coming when Thedas finds out that Corpyheus is a Magister.”

“I hadn’t considered,” Halward looked over the map, “but I suppose you’re right.”

“Dorian is my hero every day, Halward,” at the use of his first name, Halward looked to Camris, “every single day. He joined us and dove headfirst into being as helpful as possible. He had never used his magic in combat, but he still offered to travel with me, despite awful weather and the danger he faces. Dorian truly, with every ounce of his being, wishes to show all of Thedas the beauty of Tevinter, and help your homeland grow to its full potential. Given what I’ve seen over the past year, the dedication that Dorian has shown, I know he can do it. You should be very proud that he’s your son, Halward. I can’t explain how proud I am that he’s my Vhenan.”

“Amatus,” Dorian nudged Camris with his elbow, “I’m blushing.”

“Please,” Camris snorted, “you love flattery.”

“Of course, I do,” Dorian rolled his eyes, taking Camris’ hand in his, running his finger over the ring on Camris’ finger, “but not as much as I love you.”

***

“Inquisitor,” Halward started over dinner, “I was wondering if I might ask a favor.”

“You can certainly ask.”

“Alexius will be transported by an armed guard, our version of Templars. I was wondering if I might be able to stay until he arrives?”

“That would be what, approximately one week?”

“Yes.”

“Dorian?”

“It’s up to you, you’re the Inquisitor.”

“No, Vhenan, it’s up to you.”

“We haven’t had a chance for that chess game yet,” Halward spoke softly to Dorian.

“No funny business?”

“You have my word.”

“I’m fine with him staying,” Dorian spoke to Camris, “and you can start wearing your Dalish clothing again. As beautiful as you look in Tevinter clothing, my father is visiting you, so he should be the one to accommodate.”

“It seems as if you’re getting a vacation, Magister Pavus.”

“Please, call me Halward.”

“Halward,” Camris stood, “I’ll let Josephine know.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

“Camris,” he corrected, “if I am to call you Halward, you’ll call me Camris.”

***

“I suppose I should give you your ring back, if I’m back to my normal clothes tomorrow,” Camris walked to the bed, nude except for the ring on his finger.

“I-“ Dorian cleared his throat, “want you to keep it.”

“You do?” Camris straddled Dorian, “and should I keep it on my left hand or move it to my right?”

“I think it suits you right where it is, Amatus,” Dorian reached for Camris’ hand, pressing a kiss to the ring, “it’s only right for a Pavus to have one.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. 
> 
> You are all just so awesome. Thank you so much for all of the kudos and amazing comments. I work full time, and I'm often at my day job from 8-5. Writing is just my way of decompressing, but I can't tell you how glad I am that you're enjoying it. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of you.

Halward had somewhat awkwardly integrated into the daily life of Skyhold. He had been in the Keep for three days when he asked Camris for some time to speak privately. 

“I wanted to thank you, Camris, for welcoming me into your home. I’m sure with my past with Dorian it hasn’t been easy for you.”

“It’s conflicting,” Camris sat across from Halward at the small table that the members of the Inquisition used for chess in the garden, “you were the one that brought the man I love the most in the world into existence, and you were also the one who has caused him the most pain. I both value you and despise you.”

Halward flinched, “I have done many wrongs in my life, but hurting Dorian will always be my biggest regret.”

“And why is that, if I may ask,” Camris picked up one of the chess pieces and rolled it between his hands, “because you made this remarkable, capable, intelligent man and thought it was best to change him because of something as silly as who he beds? Or because you were caught when you tried to change him?”

“I understand your feelings, truly, but you must understand that Tevinter views such things differently.”

“Let me approach it another way, then. Had you had a daughter or a son for that matter, and for whatever reason, they were unable to have children, a condition of birth so to speak, would you have loved them less for being unable to carry on the Pavus name?”

“No, but-“

“Or if you had a child, much like Dorian, who would have rather dedicate their time to studies and research and chose not to have children, would you love them any less?”

“No-“

“So it was never about the bloodline or your legacy. It was about control,” Camris set the chess piece back in its spot and started setting up the board, “I’ll never understand it myself, maybe it’s a cultural difference, but where I come from we want our children to grow up to be _happy_. The Dalish don’t believe, or at least my parents didn’t believe, that your children are meant to be a perfect copy of their parents. That’s what parenting is, it’s like taking a ball of clay and forming it into something new. Maybe it’s a teapot, maybe it’s a cup, either way, you’re not quite sure when you start what it’s going to look like but you put care and time into the craftsmanship of it and you hope at the end it’s functional.”

Halward didn’t interject again, just watched as Camris set up the chessboard with practiced ease.

“Dorian was always destined to be more than just your legacy, Halward. He is…” Camris trailed off as he tried to consider his words, “remarkable.”

“On that, we’re agreed,” Halward gestured, to the board, “do you play, Camris?”

“I do, would you like to play a game?”

“In Tevinter they say you can tell a lot about a man on how they play chess,” Halward looked over the board, “after you.”

***

“How was your day, Father?”

“Interesting.”

“Oh?”

“Camris beat me in chess,” Halward took what had become his usual chair at the dining table, “ _twice_.”

Dorian looked to Camris in shock, “you beat him?”

“Twice,” Halward said again for emphasis.

“I’ve never managed to beat him,” Dorian tried to conceal his smile.

“Well, you know what they say about chess. Sometimes you just need a new perspective.”

“That you for entertaining me, Camris.”

“It was my pleasure. How is your research going, Vhenan?”

“Slowly, as it always does. I’m waiting for some books to arrive which should help in the process.”

“You and your books, Vhenan. We’re going to have to buy the biggest house in Tevinter to fit them all. How are we even going to move them all?”

“I assume that some can stay at my family’s estate,” Dorian said casually, “the others we can take home, the duplicates can stay here.”

“Why do you think our estate is so large, Camris. I needed to make room for Dorian’s books. When he was a child, he would read five or six a day if I allowed it.”

Camris laughed, “well I hope it reassures you that while I do enjoy reading, I don’t insist on keeping every book that I’ve read.”

“A relief to know that our family home won’t require another addition.”

Camris glanced at Dorian who was looking at his father in shock, “Vhenan?”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian shook his head, “it sounded as if my father, the same father who hated the fact I prefer men, just made a joke with my Amatus about living at the family estate.”

“He did.”

Halward shrugged, “maybe Ferelden is rubbing off on me.”

“In that set of robes?” Camris pointed to the ornate gold silk, far too cold for the environment, “certainly not.”

“Inquisitor,” Cullen walked over to the table, a serious expression on his face, “I need to speak with you.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s the Wardens. Our eyes on Adamant report Warden’s arriving in huge numbers. Whatever they’re going to do, they’re doing it soon. We need to mobilize the forces.”

“How quickly can you get them moving?”

“Eight hours.”

Camris ran his fingers through his hair, standing from the table and waving for Leliana and Josephine to join them, “I hear we need to move.”

“Sooner rather than later, Inquisitor,” Josephine agreed.

“Alright, this complicates things,” Camris glanced over the table, “Solas, Cassandra, Blackwall, can you be ready to go tomorrow morning, before sunrise?”

“Of course, Inquisitor.”

“Go make your necessary preparations,” Camris turned to Cullen, “get the troops ready. Josephine, send word to Celene that we’re moving on the fortress, see if she has any assets she can send. Leliana, start a communication line between Adamant and Skyhold, we need everyone here kept up to date. Cyrel?”

“I’m here,” Cyrel called from down the table, “what do you need?”

“I’ll keep your Vhenan safe if you keep mine safe.”

“What do you mean?” Dorian interjected, “I’m going with you.”

“You can’t, Alexius will arrive while I’m away, you’re the only one here that is equipped to keep him secured until I return.”

“Amatus-“

“I know,” Camris put his hand on Dorian’s shoulder, “I know, Vhenan, I don’t like it either, but we have two critical missions going on at once. I need to deal with the Wardens, we can’t lose them to Corypheus, but we also can’t risk compromising our relationship with Tevinter. You are needed here.”

“Inquisitor,” Halward stood, “may I use your undercroft? I should have just enough time to create some enchantments to help if your arcanist is willing to work with me.”

Camris studied Halward’s expression for a moment before nodding, “go ahead, Leliana, send someone to help him.”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“The rest of you keep an eye on Skyhold, this is the perfect opportunity for the rebel mages to attempt to take the fortress. Cole, if something happens here can you find me to let me know?”

“Yes.”

“Does everyone understand what they should be doing?”

There was a chorus of agreement around the table.

“Alright, let’s get to work.”

***

“I don’t like it,” Dorian announced from where he was sitting on the bed waiting for Camris to undress.

“I don’t either.”

“What if something happens to you and I’m not there to help?”

“I’ll have the army with me, Vhenan. I’ll be okay. I don’t like leaving you with your father, either. I’ve instructed Leliana to keep the guards posted at the door and to keep him under watch. If you think anything suspicious is happening, lock him in the prison with Alexius and I’ll deal with it when I’m back.”

“Alright.”

“Now, I need to be on the road in five hours. Hold me for a while because I need to sleep.”

“Come here, Amatus. Let me give you a reason to miss me.”

***

Dorian had been remarkably proud of himself. He had managed to contain his upset with the situation until Camris was out of sight before he went into a complete panic.

“It’s okay,” Bull had pulled him into a tight embrace as soon as he noticed Dorian’s resolve slipping, “he has hundreds of soldiers with him, he’ll be back before you know it.”

“What if-“

“Don’t think about the what-ifs, Sparkler. The Inquisitor is a rare breed, he has got magic that none of them have. They can’t prepare for him, or the Inquisition army. He’ll be fine.”

Halward watched from nearby with interest, wondering if had ever seen Dorian with such an extensive support system. It was almost comical that the thought came from watching his son hug a Qunari, of all things.

“Camris wouldn’t want you to worry,” Cyrel placed a reassuring hand on Dorian’s back, “come, let’s get you something to eat. We know he’s safe today, even riding as fast as his hart can travel, he won’t get to Adamant for another day.”

“That’s true,” Dorian sighed, catching sight of his father, “hungry, Father?”

“I’ll eat if you will.”

Dorian arched a brow at Halward, “is that a paternal instinct that I hear?”

“Yes,” Halward fought the urge to frown at Dorian’s surprise, “it is.”

“Andraste be praised.”

***

“I’ve been here for five days and I haven’t seen your quarters, Dorian.”

It was a distraction, Dorian knew it, “Camris didn’t want us alone for fear that you might try more blood magic.”

“I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I give you my word that I won’t.”

Dorian considered for a minute before standing, “come, I don’t want to break my word to Camris so we’ll see if Cyrel is available to join us.”

Halward followed Dorian through the keep, easily finding Cyrel who agreed to join them. Cyrel hadn’t strayed far from Dorian since Camris had left, and had taken to sleeping on the couch in their quarters to keep an eye on him.

“Impressive,” Halward took in the room as they got to the top of the stairs, “it looks as if you decorated.”

“I did. When Camis and I first became friends, this room was nothing more than a desk and an exceptionally ugly bed. The first day I ever came up here was the day we had met you in Redcliffe.”

“Were you involved then?”

“No, not yet. Not from lack of interest on my part, but Camris took some time to warm to the idea. It wasn’t long afterward though. We’ve been together some time now.”

“He makes you happy?”

Dorian paused mid-stride across the room, “why?”

“I want to know.”

“Camris makes me happy in a way that I had never given myself the chance to hope for. He is perfect for me in the sort of what that makes me think that I couldn’t have even dreamt for a better partner.”

“Then I am happy for you.”

“Is that approval?”

“I’m not sure if approval is the right word,” Halward walked to the balcony, looking out over the mountains, “but it is acceptance.”

“That is a good first step, one I’m sure Camris will be glad to hear about when he returns,” Cyrel spoke from the hearth, “anyone for tea?”

***

Halward watched Dorian slowly descend into misery over the next few days.

Dorian was good at hiding it, all of the years in the Magisterium had taught him that, but Halward was familiar with the tricks and would catch sight of Dorian looking out the window in his library alcove with a worried expression whenever he thought that someone wasn’t watching.

Dorian had been chewing on his thumbnail for nearly ten minutes when Halward decided to approach him.

“Dorian.”

“Father,” Dorian cleared his throat and shook his head before turning to face him, “what can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you might take a walk with me if you’re available?”

“Certainly,” Dorian followed Halward, one of Leliana’s agents far enough behind to not be intrusive, “anywhere particular?”

“The ramparts, maybe? I’ve not yet tired of looking out and seeing snow and mountains.”

Dorian followed Halward to the stone steps, walking along the stone until Halward stopped.

“I was wondering what you found so interesting this way, I’ve caught you looking out that window a few times over the past four days.”

“Oh,” Dorian looked out over the mountains, there was nothing but snow and cloud as far as he could see, “I was just being silly. That’s the direction of Adamant.”

“I see,” Halward kept his eyes on the horizon, “you miss him? Camris?”

“Dreadfully.”

“Your mother and I…we used to watch you develop feelings for people in Tevinter that we knew you could never have. Your mother used to worry endlessly when one of your…trysts…would dissolve and you would spend days in your room. I remember her crying to me one night, asking how you were ever going to be happy. I used to worry about that, too. Though of course I never told your mother. Sometimes I think that arranged marriages are good because by the time you fall in love with them you already know they’re yours.”

“I’m sure you understand that your marriage is an unusual one. Many arranged marriages end in homicide.”

“Seeing you with Camris…” Halward trailed off, “is not what I expected.”

“Camris is nothing if not unexpected.”

“May I ask what drew you to him?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Curiosity.”

“Camris…” Dorian considered, “aside from the fact he is _beautiful_ , which was the first thing I noticed, of course, he’s very kind, and compassionate. He’s supportive and patient. I think what always struck me though is that the name Pavus didn’t mean anything to him. He doesn’t care who I am, or what my status or rank is. He just knows me as Dorian. It’s refreshing, being cared about for who you are, rather than who your family is. Tevinter is only important to him because it’s important to me.”

“He appears to care about you a great deal.”

“He does,” Dorian tried to clear his throat around the lump that formed, “and I care about him.”

“That much is obvious.”

“I don’t-,” Dorian paused, unsure what was bringing on the feeling to talk to his father about _feelings_ , or all things, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t make it back.”

Halward felt similarly out of his depth at the intimacy of the conversation, “he will.”

“If he doesn’t?” Dorian closed his eyes tightly, the feeling of warm tears running down his cheeks.

“If he doesn’t,” Halward glanced at Leliana’s scout before slowly bringing his hand to Dorian’s shoulder, “I will stay with you here for as long as you need, and then we will go home together.”

“Would things be different this time?”

“I hope so.”

***

The news of what happened at Adamant spread quickly through Skyhold, as news often did. Murmurs could be heard throughout the Keep of the reports coming from Leliana’s scouts.

_He went into the Fade, did you hear?_

_They say he stepped from the rift and closed it behind him, can you believe it?_

_I’ll believe he’s alive when I see him with my own eyes, there’s no way he could have survived that._

Dorian sat with his head in his hands at the table, a concerned Cyrel on one side of him with Varric on the other.

“Eat, Dorian, please. My brother will never let me hear the end of it if you’re sick when he returns.”

“You mean if.”

“If?”

“He returns.”

It had been ten days since Camris had left, and while Leliana reported that Camris was fine, just detained dealing with the leftover fallout from trying to coordinate the Wardens joining the Inquisition, Dorian still felt sick with worry.

“He will,” Cyrel assured him, “not even a walk through the Fade would keep him from you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he loves you as only Camris can,” Cyrel glanced up as Cole started walking from person to person, speaking with them briefly, “which is to say that he loves you with his entirety. He will be back as soon as he can. Dorian, what is your Spirit doing?”

Dorian glanced up and watched Cole. He would approach one of the various visitors, whisper something to them, and they would walk from the hall moments later.

“I have no idea.”

It took Cole twenty minutes, but soon the hall was empty except for the inner circle.

“Hey, Kid, what are you doing?” Varric asked as Cole moved to stand next to the door.

“He doesn’t want them in here, too many people to watch.”

“Who doesn’t?”

Cole answered the question moments later when he opened the small man-door to let Camris in.

“Cam,” Dorian shot out of his chair, bolting to Camris and throwing himself into his arms, clinging to him tightly.

Camris held Dorian, letting out a sigh as the days of nerves started to leave his body, “Vhenan.”

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Dorian held Camris like he might vanish at any moment, “ _ever_.”

“I won’t,” Camris rubbed Dorian’s back, kissing his forehead, “I’m sorry.”

Dorian was absently aware of Cassandra embracing Cyrel nearby and the inner circle quietly moving to surround them.

There was a hand on Camris’ shoulder and he glanced up to find Bull.

“Glad you’re home, Boss.”

“Thanks, Bull.”

“Group hug!” Sera walked over the tables, jumping and landing nearby pulling Bull into a hug with Camris and Dorian, “come on, we almost lost him, didn’t we?”

Gradually, the inner circle surrounded them, some hugging, some just standing nearby.

Halward watched, certain of his unwelcome in the group as they pat on Camris’ shoulder, whispered to Dorian.

“Pull back a minute, Vhenan, I haven’t kissed you in days.”

Dorian only moved back far enough for Camris to kiss him gently, a firm hand on Dorian’s lower back to keep him in place.

“I missed you,” Dorian whispered, “terribly.”

“Not as much as I missed you,” Camris wiped the tears from Dorian’s face, “and now I’m home.”

“You’re not leaving my sight today,” Dorian stepped back, the group slowly breaking up and moving back to their respective seats, “Josephine will just have to deal with it.”

“I think any reporting can wait until tomorrow,” Josephine gave Dorian a small smile, “you deserve the day together.”

“Did you win?” Varric asked, “where’s Hawke?”

“With the Warden’s, but it was a…” Camris swallowed heavily, “very close call. We lost his Warden friend in the Fade. There was a demon of some sort, apparently, he controlled Corypheus’ armies. It was a very hard fight.”

“Were you injured?”

“I’m fine.”

“He’s fine now,” Cassandra cut in, “he was not fine when he returned. In typical Camris fashion, he sent the rest of us through the rift first. When we were back in Adamant we could do nothing but watch the rift for Camris to return.”

“But I did.”

“Yes, and you were bleeding out of your ears.”

“They are a big target, easy to hit, I’m fine.”

“It took three healers to get you standing again.”

“Cassandra,” Camris flicked his eyes in Dorian’s direction, “I’m fine.”

“You need at least a day to recover, if not two,” Cassandra turned to Josephine, “I was with Camris in the Fade, I will do the report.”

“The Fade, huh?” Varric took out his notepad, “what was that like.”

“No,” Camris held out his hand, “no notes. Corypheus entered the Fade and started the Blight. We don’t want people trying to jump into the rifts that they’re finding around Thedas. This stays here, let it be a rumor outside of Skyhold, but nothing is going to be confirmed. Understood?”

“Understood.”

There was the sound of mutual agreement around the room and Camris’ looked to Halward, “I understand I promised information, Halward, but the Magisterium can’t know about this.”

“I understand, and I agree. “

“Thank you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s temple, “I’ve missed you terribly, but I rode all night to get home to you and I’m starving. Let me eat lunch and you can tell me all about Alexius’ arrival.”


	20. Chapter 20

Camris started undressing as soon as they walked into their quarters a few hours later, walking over to the room that held the large tub and starting the process of filling it.

“Forgive me, Vhenan, I want nothing more than to hold you, but I haven’t bathed since I left and I’m at the stage where I’m grossing myself out.”

“I’ll prepare your bath, Amatus, go get undressed.”

“I love you,” Camris kissed Dorian’s hair on the way by into the bedroom, “I’m exhausted.”

“I imagine so.”

“Were things alright with your father while I was away?”

“Yes. Strained, but he seems to like you.”

“That’s good to hear,” Camris spoke from the door and Dorian turned to see him leaning against the doorframe, wonderfully nude but distinctly bruised.

“Cassandra said it was a close call,” Dorian added extra elfroot to the water before walking over to Camris and gently resting his hand over a deep bruise in various shades of purple and green across Camris’ side, “how close?”

“Very,” Camris took a deep breath, “very close.”

“Closer than the rift near your camp?”

“Yes.”

“Maker, Camris, if I had lost you.”

“You didn’t,” Camris tilted Dorian’s chin up, drawing his attention away from the bruises and back to his face, “I came back.”

“If you don’t kiss me _this instant_ , Amatus.”

Camris did, long and slow as the tub continued to fill in the background. When the sound started to change, Camris pulled away before the water overflowed.

Camris stepped into the water, hot and steaming from the enchantments in the tub, and let out a pained hiss as he sat.

“Did you want a healing potion?”

“I’ve had so many healing potions in the past few days, darling. I don’t think they’re working anymore.”

“Amatus,” Dorian kneeled next to the bathtub, “how I worry about you.”

“No need to worry,” Camris held up his left hand, “I had you with me.”

“You didn’t take it off?”

“I didn’t see a need to, you fight with at least four on at any time.”

“I use a staff, not a bow.”

“Yes it has given me a bit of an interesting callus, but it doesn’t harm anything,” Camris worked on cleaning the ring first. Dorian felt his heart flutter as he carefully polished the gold.

“I’ll leave you to bathe, Amatus, and go and get us some wine.”

“Sounds like a plan. I won’t be long.”

Dorian kissed Camris’ forehead, heading down the stairs toward the small room of better wine that Camris had shown him after they had met his father in Redcliffe.

“Dorian,” Halward called to him as he walked from their quarters, “how is Camris?”

“Very, very bruised,” Dorian nodded for his father to follow him, Leliana’s agent following closely behind, “he’s just in the bath now, I’m getting us some wine.”

“I’m glad he’s alright.”

“Me too,” Dorian opened the door to Camris’ library, smiling as Halward stopped and looked around in awe, “yes, for all of his posturing, he does in fact keep all the books that he reads.”

“These are Camris’?”

“They are. A good number of them are not in common, so I’ve not borrowed many.”

“He won’t translate them for you?”

“He tries,” Dorian looked over the bottles of wine, settling on a bottle called Carnal, “but Elvhen is his first language, so he starts off translating it, and then he just continues in Elvhen. He doesn’t realize when he switches, and he sounds so lovely speaking in Elvhen that I don’t care to correct him. I usually just listen until I fall asleep.”

“That’s…quite cute.”

“I-yes, I suppose it is. Did you need me for something?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright before I retired for the evening.”

“I appreciate that,” Dorian watched his father and noticed that his father was watching him just as closely, “I suppose you’re leaving once Camris deals with Alexius?”

“I should, I imagine your mother is waiting for me.”

“I can’t believe that I’m saying this,” Dorian kept his eyes on his father, watching for any change in expression, “but I’m glad you were here this week.”

“Me too,” Halward sighed, “I suppose you should get back to Camris, he’s likely missing you.”

“Of course he is, I’m easy to miss.”

“Well the family estate hasn’t been the same since you left, that’s for certain.”

“Quiet, I imagine.”

“Lonely was the word I would use,” Halward shook his head to clear it, “apologies, Dorian. Now is not the time. Go, see your Amatus. We’ll speak in the morning.”

“You know,” Dorian held the door for Halward, “you’re much more likeable outside of Minrathous. Maybe you could come and visit again, bring mother?”

“Of course, your mother will love the snow.”

There was a pause before they both started laughing, “goodnight, Father.”

“Goodnight, Dorian.”

***

“There you are,” Camris looked up from the desk as he heard Dorian return, “I was starting to wonder.”

“I was speaking with my father.”

“Oh?”

“He wanted to make sure you were alright,” Dorian set the wine on the desk, “he’s been good to me this week. I hope it’s a sign of things to come”

“I’m glad to hear that things are improving,” Camris poured them both a glass of wine, “sometimes being outside of what you’re used to teaches you about yourself. He’s always known you on his turf, and now he’s getting to know you on yours. You’re an intelligent and capable man who has brought much to the Inquisition, he would be a fool if he didn’t see that.”

“I love you,” Dorian accepted his glass of wine and gestured to the couch, “come and sit with me, tell me about Adamant.”

***

“I was torn if I’m being honest. On one hand, it feels as if the Wardens have long overstepped their boundaries, much like the Templars, but if Corypheus brought the first Blight, what might happen if I were to banish them to Orlais?”

“I think you made the right call, for what it’s worth.”

“That reassures me greatly,” Camris set his glass aside, “come and lay with me?”

“Let me undress and I’ll be right over, Amatus.”

Camris pulled back the sheets, getting into bed and watching Dorian undress, “I’m so exhausted, but how I wish I had the energy to ravish you.”

“There is always tomorrow.”

“Unless you want to hop on and ride me,” Camris waved toward his crotch, “we haven’t tried that yet.”

“Would you like to?”

“Oh absolutely, if you’re interested.”

“I am, but maybe on a night where you are awake to enjoy it,” Dorian got into the bed next to Camris, immediately reaching for Camris before pausing, “it might hurt if I grab you, why don’t you figure out how you want me?”

“Here,” Camris turned on his non-bruised side, pulling for Dorian to slot up behind him, “I honestly only have minutes before I fall asleep.”

Dorian closed his eyes and kissed Camris’ shoulder, “me too, I didn’t sleep well, even with your brother in here.”

“I know I told him to take care of you, but that’s taking things a bit far…”

“He slept on the couch, Amatus.”

“I should bloody well hope so.”

***

Dorian looked over Camris’ side with concern. He hadn’t moved all night, which was odd for Camris who usually rolled all over the bed and ended up pushing Dorian into various tangles of limbs. The skin across his ribs was still a deep purple, and the furrow in his brow, even in sleep, told Dorian that he was still very sore.

“My poor Amatus,” Dorian gently traced the bruise, barely touching the skin, but Camris winced and stirred.

“Gentle, Vhenan,” Camris mumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

“I was barely touching you, Amatus. How on earth did you do this?”

“I was hit in the side by a demon into a pillar. The pillar broke, and it broke me with it. I was sort of hoping that whatever happened in the Fade stayed in the Fade, but apparently that’s not the case.”

“You should see a healer.”

“I have, a few of them, but when we came back it was more pressing that the Inquisition troops who are currently facing death from their injuries be seen, first. I will survive the bruising, I just don’t like it. We have at least ten who might not survive at all.”

“You can barely stand for me to touch you, Amatus. It’s more than bruising.”

Camris rolled to face Dorian, struggling but managing, to keep his face clear of any signs of pain, “Stop worrying, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ve done nothing for days but worry, Camris. Nothing.”

Camris sighed, reaching for Dorian and pulling him into a painful hug, “I’m sorry, but it had to be done.”

“I know,” Dorian kissed Camris’ chest, “but it worries me what else this war might ask of you before it is done.”

***

Dorian beat Camris down for breakfast, Camris stating the needed to check the mail on his desk when Dorian knew full well he wanted to struggle to put his shirt on in peace.

“What’s wrong, Dorian?”

Dorian glanced up to his father as he sat, “whatever do you mean?”

“Please,” Halward rolled his eyes, “I might not have been a good father, but I’m a decent husband. Your mother makes that same face when she’s angry.”

“Camris is hurt,” Dorian glanced up as those around the table started to chatter worriedly, “not terribly hurt, but heavily bruised and in a lot of pain. He won’t see a healer, he says the Inquisition soldiers need them more. I couldn’t even rest my hand on him last night without him flinching.”

“He took a very hard hit,” Cassandra agreed, “the battlefield was not good for anyone fighting distance. We were forced to be very close.”

“Do you think Cyrel could help?”

“He’s already down helping the others that were injured, or I’m sure he would.”

“Damnit.”

It was a few minutes before the door to their quarters opened, Camris walking slowly with a pained expression on his face.

“I see what you’re saying, Dorian.”

Camris visibly grit his jaw as he walked over to the table, bracing himself as he pulled his chair back, and cautiously sat down.

“Alright, Amatus?”

“Just fine, Vhenan.”

Dorian let out a frustrated huff, “so I trust you’ll be training with Cullen this morning, yes? Hours over the war table?”

“Maybe I can help,” Halward suggested, “Dorian’s mother insisted I learned to heal when we found out we were expecting a child. I should be able to ease some of your pain. My magic won’t be wasted on you as I’m sure you wouldn’t have me working on Inquisition troops.”

The table fell silent, and Dorian felt the tension in the air as Camris studied Halward’s face.

“I understand why you wouldn’t trust me, Camr-“

Camris cut him off, “that would be lovely, thank you.”

“Oh,” Halward took a moment to process the agreement, “alright, I’ll need to see the bruises.”

“Cole, can you clear the room of nobles, please?”

Like he had the night before, Cole moved between all of those within the room not in the inner circle, slowly driving them from the room.

Camris waited until the room was empty of any nobility before turning back to Halward, “what do you need from me?”

“Just to see where you’re hurt.”

Camris stood, starting on the ties of his shirt, “Dorian, can you help? It took me more energy than I had to even put it on.”

“Of course,” Dorian carefully eased the shirt over Camris’ head, wincing as the inner circle made various noises of concern as the bruises came into view, “I told you it was bad.”

“No one likes an _I told you so_ , Vhenan.”

“That’s impressive,” Halward urged Camris to follow him a few steps from the table.

“Inquisitor,” Cassandra looked between him and Halward, “is this wise?”

“I trust that Halward will treat me well. Besides, Dorian can set him on fire if he does something stupid.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Halward stepped tentatively closer to Camris.

“I know you won’t.”

Halward carefully placed his hand over the bruise, immediately apologizing as Camris winced, “I’m sorry, Inquisitor, I need to touch you.”

“It’s alright, go ahead.”

It seemed to take ages, but Dorian was sure that was just because he, and most of the others around the table, were holding their breath in suspense.

Gradually, Camris could breathe easier, and the colour started to come back to his face as Halward gently moved his hands all over the bruises until they changed from a dark purple to light green.

“I think that’s as far as I can take them. I haven’t done healing magic in years.”

“That was very helpful, Halward, thank you,” Camris took a deep breath and stretched, “it feels much better.”

“I’m glad,” Halward jumped as Camris clapped him on the shoulder.

“It seems some time in Ferelden has done you well, Magister Pavus.”

“Ah, yes,” Halward glanced at his hands, adjusting his Pavus ring, “as it appears I might be your father in law shortly, it seemed right to extend the olive branch.”

“Extended and accepted,” Camris squeezed Halward’s shoulder before reaching for his shirt from Dorian, “now, breakfast?”

***

“Camris,” Halward’s voice drew Camris’ attention from the Templar training he was watching, “might I borrow a moment of your time?”

“Of course,” Camris waved Leliana’s scout away, “what can I do for you?”

“It’s about Dorian.”

“What about Dorian?”

“As you know, Alexius is in your prison, held there by wards Dorian and I established while you were away.”

“I do, I went to see him this morning, but he wouldn’t speak to me.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Halward gestured for Camris to walk and they started along the ramparts, “believe it or not, at one point Alexius was one of the best of us. His magic was modern, and it broke barriers that we had been confined behind for years. I sent Dorian to train with him because I knew that Dorian could do the same.”

“Dorian is remarkable, on that we’re agreed.”

“While they fell out of touch, I know that Alexius is still important to him. In many ways, Alexius was more of a father to him than I was.”

“Alright, so what did you want from me?”

“Dorian won't ask you for mercy for Alexius, as much as he might want to,” Halward stopped Camris with a hand on his arm, “I will. I have done nothing to deserve your trust, nor have I earned your favour, but please believe me when I say that I love my son. I want Dorian to be happy, even if I have done many, many, things to make it appear otherwise.”

“What would you have me do with Alexius?”

“I-“ Halward considered, “I’m not sure. I didn’t think you would entertain the idea.”

“You’re not the only one who loves Dorian,” Camris shrugged, “I would die for him, saving his mentor is hardly an expense. If you say it will make him happy, that’s all I need to know.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

“Of course. If you have some time, do you think you could explain Alexius’ magic to me? Dorian will be suspicious if I ask, but if I don’t put Alexius to work there will be some resistance.”

“Certainly, over chess?”

“Sounds lovely,” Camris started back toward Skyhold, holding the door open for Alexius to step into the library.

“Father,” Dorian greeted, “I wondered where you had gone.”

“He was with me,” Camris smirked as Dorian looked between them with suspicion, “what?”

“What are you two plotting?”

“Why do you assume we’re plotting anything?” Camris threw his arm over Halward’s shoulder, ignoring the shock of those around them, “we were just heading into the garden to play chess.”

“You’re going to play chess,” Dorian wasn’t convinced, “with my father, by choice?”

“It was my idea, actually,” Camris turned to Halward who was trying his best not to look uncomfortable, “right?”

“It was,” Halward agreed, “we’re getting to know one another.”

“Why?”

“As Halward said, he’s my future father-in-law. Once we’re in Tevinter we’ll be spending much more time together, so we might as well like each other. You know,” Camris spoke louder as he noticed Mother Giselle watching, “Tevinter is just beautiful.”

“I would join you,” Dorian started slowly, “but I’m in the middle of some research.”

“Not to worry, I get all the best stories about you if you’re not there to stop him from telling them, anyway. Come on Halward, the board awaits.”

Dorian watched them start toward the stairs, Camris’ arm still over Halward’s shoulder, “where is his guard, Amatus?”

“Doesn’t need it,” Camris waved off the concern as they started to descend the steps, “I trust him.”

***

“I still remember the look on Dorian’s mother’s face when she realized that she had gone through the entire dinner with purple eyebrows. I thought she might explode.”

Camris howled with laughter, holding his ribs from the residual pain, “I could see him doing that.”

“He only did it the once, but it made an impression.”

“It’s hard to picture Dorian as a child, I’ve never even seen him without his moustache.”

“He was very cute and extremely well-spoken. I believe that many of the guests to our estate came only to spend time with him when he was younger.”

“I believe it,” Camris moved one of his chess pieces.

“May I ask you a personal question?”

“I’ve certainly asked you many today, it seems only fair.”

“Have you always preferred men?”

“I don’t prefer men,” Camris considered, “or maybe I do, but Dorian is the first I’ve been with. He proposed the idea to me several months ago while we were visiting my family, things just progressed from there. Now, I couldn’t picture my life without him.”

“Are you willing to face the judgement of Tevinter to stay with him?”

“Absolutely.”

“You seem very fond of him.”

“Dorian is my everything,” Camris moved another piece, “he’s beautiful and charming, and funny. He cares about me and takes care of me. I’m not sure that I’ll ever deserve your son, Halward, but I promise I will always love him.”

“You give me your word on that?”

“I do.”

“It’s what I’ve wanted him to find in the end. Maybe not the person I expected, but your relationship seems…genuine.”

“I think so.”

“Then you’ll have my support when you come back to Tevinter, for what it’s worth.”

“That’s very kind, though you might reconsider in a minute.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Checkmate,” Camris smirked as he moved his final piece.

Halward looked over the board shaking his head with a smile, “well played.”

“Are you quite finished speaking about me?”

“No,” Camris glanced up to Dorian as he joined them, “I was just being told that you turned your mother’s eyebrows purple.”

“Oh yes, I had forgotten about that.”

“I can assure you that she has not,” Halward reset the board, “did you want to play a game, Dorian?”

“I think I can be persuaded.”

***

“So, you’re friends with my father?”

“Sort of,” Camris undressed for bed, “I don’t know if I’ll ever trust him entirely, but he does seem genuine in his remorse of what he did, and he clearly loves you a great deal.”

“He was very kind to me while you were away. I think he acted like more of a father to me in the past few weeks than I ever saw when I was a child.”

“Something to be grateful for,” Camris stretched out on the bed, holding his hands out for Dorian to join him, “come here, Vhenan.”

Dorian slowly undressed, making a show of each stretch of his muscles until he was nude at the foot of the bed with Camris looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world.

“See something you want?”

“If by want you mean _do I see the love of my life_ , the answer is yes, always.”

“You’re so romantic,” Dorian rolled his eyes but crawled up the bed and straddled Camris, “I was trying to seduce you, and you had to turn it into some sweet declaration of love.”

“I’m seduced,” Camris trailed his fingers over Dorian’s thighs, up to the sensitive skin of his stomach and as far up his chest as his arms would reach, pulling Dorian down for a kiss, “never doubt that you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Vhenan. I always want you.”

Kissing Camris was overwhelming, but it always was. He had this wonderful ability to kiss Dorian all while exploring his body with careful touches. Sometimes Dorian was so overwhelmed with sensation that he would completely lose track of time.

Now, after being so close to losing him, Dorian tried to convey his need for Camris. He had planned to say something romantic like _you’re the love of my life_ , or _marry me_ , instead, something in the way of a needy whine fell from his lips as Camris started to kiss his neck.

“Shh, Vhenan, I’ve got you.”

Dorian wasn’t sure if Camris was aware of just how true that was.

Camris pushed on Dorian’s chest, urging him to lay back against the bed, “I’ve wanted to taste you since I left.”

Dorian would have been embarrassed about how quickly he dropped onto his back were it not for the fact that Camris seemed just as eager, following him as he rolled and almost immediately taking Dorian’s cock into his mouth.

Dorian let out something in the way of a desperate keen, a mix of Camris’ name and something in Tevene, bringing his fingers to tangle in Camris’ hair.

Camris pleasured him like there was nothing else in the world to do, spending as much time as he could slowly bringing Dorian right to the edge before stopping, taking some time to kiss Dorian’s stomach, before starting over again.

At a particularly hard suck, Dorian groaned, tugging on Camris’ hair. Dorian thought this must be a dream as Camris _growled_ around him.

It was too much, Dorian’s nerves were on fire with each flick of his tongue, each brush of his fingers. It was overwhelming and all-encompassing, but still, not quite enough. Dorian wanted to give off of himself to this man, at this moment, didn’t know how to tell Camris what he needed.

Dorian turned his face away from the sight of Camris doing his best to deepthroat his cock, glancing to the candle on the bedside table and realizing that they had been doing this for _ages_. The candle now burned low in its holder. He was about to make a joke when the bottle caught his attention. 

“Hold on, Amatus,” Dorian stretched, only just able to catch the oil with his fingertips, passing the bottle to Camris.

Camris didn’t ask if he was sure, something Dorian was grateful for if he was honest. This had become something that he was almost too nervous to do. So many memories of the men leaving after had made it an unwritten rule in their bedroom that Camris was the one who did the taking.

But Camris wouldn’t leave, and Dorian knew that.

Still, the first brush of a slicked fingers has Dorian tensing, and Camris whispering words of reassurance against Dorian’s cheek as he moves up to shower Dorian’s face in kisses.

“We don’t have to do this, not now, not ever. You don’t have anything to prove to me, Vhenan.”

“ _Please_ ,” falls from Dorian’s lips because that’s all he can say. If he was braver his might have said, _you’re the only one I can trust with this,_ or _I need to make my body yours_ , but Dorian isn’t brave, and as Camris presses one cautious and gentle finger inside of him Dorian thinks that he can see the heavens.

Camris was so careful, of course he is, as Dorian gradually loses himself more and more into the sensation and intimacy of it all. By the time one finger turns into two, Dorian’s a mess of panting breaths, sweat, and incoherent moans.

When Camris, beautiful, clever, Camris, curls his fingers into the spot, _that_ spot, Dorian cries out.

“Easy, Vhenan.”

“Another,” Dorian all but begs, and Camris complies. More oil, another finger, and a delicious curl.

Dorian only gave Camris a few minutes, just until he was sure that it wouldn't be painful before he pushed the fingers away.

“Sit against the headboard, Amatus.”

Camris does, watching Dorian’s face as he takes his oil-slick hand and coats his cock, welcoming Dorian into his lap with a firm grip on his hips.

Dorian reached between them, giving Camris’ cock a few pumps before lining him up and starting to sink down.

Dorian couldn’t remember the last time he had done this, and the initial burn took him by surprise.

“Slow down,” Camris whispered, holding Dorian with a strong grip and keeping him still, “it’s not a race.”

Camris wouldn’t let Dorian move until the crease from the pain between his eyebrows left and Dorian was letting out little needy noises. Still, Camris held Dorian tightly, forcing him to take each inch of his cock at an agonizingly slow pace.

Dorian practically sobbed once he felt Camris’ thighs meet him, relief, and another emotion he didn’t want to focus on washing over him.

“Stay like this for a minute, give yourself time to adjust,” Camris leaned forward, kissing over Dorian’s heart, “you feel amazing, Vhenan.”

Dorian pulled Camris into a messy and somewhat frantic kiss, gasping as Camris reached between them and started to stroke his cock.

“Amatus,” Dorian moaned against Camris’ lips, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Camris kissed him again, “and I always will.”

“Promise me,” Dorian whispered as he started to rock his hips, “promise me that you’ll be mine forever.”

“Forever,” Camris moaned, his head hitting the headboard with a thump as he watched Dorian move, “I promise.”

Dorian wished he could say that he had planned on drawing it out, savoring in their first time like this, but as Camris moaned and gasped at each roll of his hips Dorian lost interest in taking things slowly.

Dorian arched his back, resting one of his hands between Camris’ legs to keep his balance as he managed to make Camris hit the spot inside of him that had him seeing stars. Camris grit his jaw, one hand reaching behind him to anchor onto the headboard while the other stroked Dorian, pumping his cock as it started to leak over his fist.

“Come on,” Camris started to push his hips up, the best he could in the awkward position, pulling a startled moan from Dorian at the hard press against his prostate, “I want to watch you.”

It was as if Dorian had been waiting for permission, and suddenly all of the sensations were too much. Dorian panted as his orgasm started to take shape, so close that his heart was thundering in his ears, it only took seconds for it to wash over him, spending with something that was both a moan and a scream.

It only took a minute for Camris to follow right behind, and Dorian trembled as an aftershock caught him off guard and sent him collapsing against Camris’ chest as Camris groaned and spilled inside of him.

Camris’ arms were immediately wrapped around him, holding him tightly as they shook through the last moments of pleasure together.

Dorian buried his face against Camris’ neck, fighting the now common wash of emotion that would sweep over him after he and Camris made love.

“Are you alright?” Camris whispered, slightly out of breath.

“Excellent,” Dorian blushed as his voice cracked, “just ignore me, Amatus, I always get weepy after good sex.”

“Well, first of all, that was _incredible_ sex, not _good_ sex.”

“Agreed. Second of all?”

“I meant what I said,” Camris kissed Dorian’s shoulder, “forever. If you’ll have me.”

Dorian let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, “really?”

“Really.”

Dorian pushed away from Camris’ chest, wiping his face from the few renegade tears that had managed to escape his careful restraint, “we should make that official, then.”

“Did we not?” Camris held up his hand, the bright gold ring flashing in the candlelight.

“I-,” Dorian almost said no, that it had just been some cute playful fun; but the desire to make this dream, the one that seemed impossible only a year ago, come true, won out, “yes, I suppose we did.”

“There you go, you have my promise and I have yours. I must say, yours is much prettier.”

“Of course it is,” Dorian carefully lifted himself off of Camris with a wince, “I’m out of practice.”

Camris signaled for Dorian to lay down as he stood to find a towel, “forever should give us lots of time to perfect it.”


	21. Chapter 21

Dorian woke to the feeling of Camris gently rubbing his back. He must have turned away from Camris during the night, and Camris turned to face him, slowly working the tension from his lower back.

Dorian thought back to the conversation they had previously and remembered that Camris had told him that the Dalish often showed affection this way.

“I love you, too,” Dorian mumbled into the pillow, enjoying the way his body was still lax and relaxed from making love the night before.

“I will never forget the feeling of being inside of you,” Camris whispered against Dorian’s shoulder, “last night was amazing. Are you feeling alright? I know I was sore after our first time.”

“I’m fine, thank you for the concern.”

“Are you sure?” Camris sounded concerned, “you don’t sound like yourself.”

“You’re judging Alexius today, aren’t you?”

“I should before I start something in the way of a political issue by keeping important mages from Tevinter locked away.”

“Do you know what you’re going to with him?”

“I have some ideas, but I need to speak with a few people before I make up my mind for certain.”

Dorian sighed, “I’ll trust your judgement.”

“I love you, I promise to do my best.

“Of that, I have no doubt, Amatus.” Dorian stretched, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“What should I wear?” Camris walked nude to his dresser, “I’ll need to speak with him, a bit. I need him to respect me.”

“You’re Dalish, try as you might he won’t respect you.”

Camris paused, glancing over his shoulder, “have I upset you?”

“No, I’m sorry, Amatus. I’m concerned about how today is going to go.”

Camris settled on a dark pair of pants, a black shirt, with a deep red and gold jacket over top. It was of Tevinter design, and Camris set it over the back of his chair as he sat at the vanity to brush his hair.

Dorian dressed quickly, doing his best to match Camris. By the time he was done, Camris was feeding tiny gold beads into his hair, his makeup already done.

“You’re so beautiful, Amatus.”

“I don’t know about that. I watched a gorgeous man from Tevinter riding me last night, after that, I think my definition of beauty might have changed. I’m afraid nothing will live up to that.”

“I was nervous to fall asleep last night,” Dorian admitted as he walked up to stand behind Camris as he finished his hair, “every other man I’ve been with has left after that. I half expected to wake up alone.”

“Vhenan,” Camris held up his hand where the ring sat, “I’m not a casual fuck. I’m your future husband. I wasn’t going to leave our bed just because of what we did last night. I don’t plan on leaving you _ever_.”

Camris stood, turning to face Dorian and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“May I see your ring, just for a minute?”

“Technically it’s your ring,” Camris managed to pull it off with some difficulty, his finger already starting to develop an indent from where it sat, and handed it to Dorian.

“I know we spoke about it last night, but,” Dorian sank to one knee in front of Camris, holding the ring toward Camris, “just so I’m clear. Will you, Camris Lavellan, marry me?”

“Of course I will,” Camris smiled, warm and easy, “I’ll always pick you.”

Dorian let out a breath he hadn’t know he had been holding, sliding the ring back onto Camris’ finger, “I guess that’s it, right? We’re officially betrothed?”

“Yes, Vhenan, we are. Now get off of your knees and kiss me.”

***

Dorian held Camris’ hand as they approached the breakfast table, greeting his father with a nod.

“Inquisitor,” Josephine was at his side in an instant, “good morning.”

“Good morning, Josephine.”

“Today, you have judgment scheduled for this afternoon, and a meeting with Leliana, Cullen, the archivist, and Morrigan this morning.”

“That sounds right.”

“Anything I should add to the agenda?”

“That depends, do you think you could organize a small engagement party for the end of the week?”

“An…engagement party?”

“Dorian asked me to marry him this morning,” Camris announced to the table, keeping a close eye on Halward’s reaction, “I said yes.”

The table erupted, Dorian pulled into a crushing hug by Bull, Sera slapping Dorian’s shoulder.

“Congratulations,” Halward spoke to Camris, “I’m glad Dorian has found you.”

“I hope that this won’t make things difficult for you, Halward. I know Dorian’s preference is not ideal in Tevinter.”

“No, it’s not, but,” Halward watched Dorian being embraced by his friends, “I can admit I was wrong in my actions, and I am willing to stand by him in the Magisterium, no matter how difficult that might be. I have an opportunity now, to try and be the father that he deserved. I am fortunate that you gave me that chance, Inquisitor.”

“I’m glad that you’re working things out between you.”

“Welcome to the family, Camris,” Halward held out his hand, looking shocked as Camris pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks, _dad_.”

Dorian felt his eyes well at the sight, both from a nearly uncontrollable urge to laugh as his father attempted to navigate the hug and the fact that for the first time in his entire life, he could see a future for himself in which he was actually _happy_.

“An engagement party I can do, Inquisitor,” Josephine scribbled some notes, “but did you have a plan for your wedding?”

“I’ll leave that up to my betrothed,” Camris waved to Dorian, “I’m not sure if we can get married in Tevinter or not, so if we can’t, I suppose we’ll do it here before we go.”

“Please make sure I know when,” Halward spoke to Dorian. “I would like to come if invited.”

“Will you bring mother?”

“I fear she would kill me if I didn’t.”

“Yes, she certainly would.”

***

As the day went on Dorian felt a sense of dread settle over him. In a rare act, Dorian sought out his father.

“Dorian,” Halward greeted, “you do not look as happy as I thought you would, given that you announced your engagement this morning.”

“I’m worried about Alexius,” Dorian sat beside his father, “and what Camris might have to do.”

“He loves you,” Halward said confidently, “he will take your feelings into account before he decides anything.”

“Do you like him?”

“Camris, or Alexius?”

“Camris.”

“Yes, of course,” Halward smiled a bit, a slight turn up of the corner of his mouth, “he seems quite nice. He can beat me at chess, he loves you.”

“I love him,” Dorian sighed, rubbing his face, “I hope this goes well. I hope he isn’t put into a position where he has to put Alexius to death, even if he deserves it.”

“He’s a good leader, Dorian. Let him lead.”

“Would you hate me,” Dorian started slowly, “if I didn’t come home?”

“To Tevinter?”

“Yes.”

“No, I wouldn’t hate you. I would be disappointed, of course, but provided you visited, I would accept whatever decision you made. Today is not the time to worry about such things, Son. Don’t make impulsive choices because you’re feeling vulnerable because of Alexius. I am speaking from experience, here, Dorian. If you make a choice because you’re worried about something far in the future because of something that’s happening now, you will likely make the wrong choice.”

“Are you talking about what happened to me?”

“I am.”

“I was just thinking about what Camris said earlier, we get married here, and when we go home it’s like it doesn’t count. Tevinter won’t recognize it, or him, as my husband.”

“You’ll know you’re married though.”

“I will, but what about all the petitions, all of those families looking to unify with the Pavus family?”

“We’ll tell them no, and that you’re already married. We will explain to them, as many times as it takes, that you’re with Camris.”

“You would?”

“I give you my word,” Halward moved to reach for Dorian and paused, glancing at Leliana’s scout who had their hand on the hilt of their blade, sighing, he pulled his hand away, “I won’t fail you as a father again.”

There was a commotion as Camris entered the hall with Cullen speaking to him on one side, and Morrigan on the other. They appear to be arguing with Camris trying to keep the peace.

“Enough,” Camris spoke softly, but firmly, “I need some time to review my notes, but _neither_ of you are making this decision for me. If you’re going to continue to bicker, do it somewhere else.”

Camris waved for Josephine, who rushed over to him, “Inquisitor.”

“Let’s commence judgement after lunch,” Camris held up a small book of notes, “I need time to review these. Do we have anyone else to judge today or just Alexius?”

“Just Alexius.”

“I want everyone not a part of the Inquisition removed from the hall for that judgement.”

“Inquisitor…”

“It’s a family matter, as well as an Inquisition matter. House Pavus is not going to be embarrassed in front of a bunch of nobles they don’t know. This is not up for discussion, Josie.”

“Understood, Inquisitor.”

“May I borrow your office? I need to review my notes.”

“Certainly.”

“Thank you,” Camris walked over to Dorian and Halward, “you alright?”

“This is probably one of the most stressful days of my life.”

“I know asking someone to marry you can be difficult, but I said yes, Vhenan.”

“That’s not what I meant, Amatus, and you know it.”

“I know,” Camris kissed Dorian’s temple, “have faith in me.”

“You’re the only one that I have faith in.”

“I love you,” Camris kissed Dorian gently, chaste given their current location.

“And I love you.”

**

Dorian’s palms started to sweat as the Templars started to clear the great hall, shortly after lunch, Halward keeping close to him as chewed his thumbnail until it bled.

“What do you think he’ll do?” Bull asked as he sat with Dorian and Halward.

“Put him to death,” Dorian answered immediately, “what else can he do?”

“Seems like a waste,” Varric added, “I don’t like weird magic, either, but sounds like he’s come up with some pretty amazing magic.”

“Magister Pavus,” Josephine came from her office, “can you please place the ward on the floor. The Inquisitor is worried Alexius might try and escape.”

“Of course.”

Halward got to work and Dorian watched as friends that they had who often didn’t attend judgements filter into the great hall.

Alexius was brought in next, bracketed by five Templars, and forced to stand on the ward Halward had set up on the floor. As he glanced around the room his eyes met Dorian’s, a mix of regret and surprise crossing his face as he looked away.

The minutes stretched as they waited for Camris to join them, the tension settling over the room until Dorian felt his body trembling from stress.

When the door to Josephine’s office opened, the room appeared to give a collective sigh of relief. Alexius didn’t look up, instead kept his eyes trained on his feet as Camris took his seat at the throne.

“Inquisitor, before you is Gereon Alexius, of Tevinter. The formal charges are apostasy, and attempted assassination – on your own life, as well as aiding Corypheus. Tevinter has disowned and stripped him of his rank. You may judge the former Magister as you see fit.”

Camris shifted in his seat, “so no longer Magister Alexius then, I suppose you would now be Laetan Alexius.”

“I couldn’t save my son. Do you think my fate, my title, matters to me?”

“Will you offer nothing more for your defense?” Josephine looked stunned.

“You’ve won nothing. The people you saved, the acclaim you’ve gathered – you’ll lose it all in the storm to come. Render your judgement, Inquisitor.” Alexius did look at him then, a faint flicker of surprise as he took in the Tevinter traits across Camris’ clothes.

“Let me first say, Alexius, that I am sorry for the loss of your son.”

Everyone in the hall looked shocked now, and the room fell into silence.

“I’ve never had a child, but I have lost someone to the blight, my father, and I know how difficult it is to watch them suffer. I’ve heard that Felix was a remarkable man, intelligent and kind. The world is less without him in it.”

Alexius was looking at Camris with a mix of wonder and confusion, “you’ve heard of my son?”

“Extensively, yes. I’ve heard of his compassion, his interest in studies. I’ve heard that he was a good friend, who cared deeply about those around him. I’m sorry that Corypheus couldn’t, or wouldn’t, help you save him. That’s tragically unfair. I’m sure it won’t offer you any comfort, but I feel as if I should tell you that the Dalish, as old as our magic is, have never found a cure to the blight, either.”

“Who are you?”

“I am Inquisitor Camris Lavellan of Ferelden.”

“He is Inquisitor Camris Pavus,” Halward corrected, drawing Alexius’ attention, “Dorian’s husband.”

Camris smiled, laughing softly, “I will be, yes.”

“That explains it, why you know my son.”

“I know of your magical studies, too, though my father-in-law was the one that filled in those blanks for me,” Camris opened his book, reviewing his notes.

“You do?”

“How familiar are you with the way things are done here, Alexius, the way our circles and Templars work?”

“Not very…”

“Are you familiar with the rite of tranquility?”

The was a sudden burst of chatter and Camris held up his hand to silence them.

“It is something that is done in Tevinter, Inquisitor,” Halward answered, “though not often.”

“He wouldn’t,” Dorian whispered, “he wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Alexius, the Inquisition is made of many people, from all different walks of life. I spoke with just about everyone today about what I should do with you. Overwhelmingly, they have voted for the rite of tranquility, or death.”

“Oh no,” Dorian gripped his father’s shoulder, “please no.”

“Now, Alexius, I am no mage, but as Magister Pavus pointed out, I am all but married to one, and that man is very familiar with your magic. I spent hours with Halward yesterday, and he explained as much as he could about your magical practices to me. I took notes,” Camris flipped through his book, “I don’t know much about magic, my brothers are mages, but it’s not something I’ve ever considered studying at length. I’ve spent hours going over these notes, Alexius, and the magic that you created with Dorian, it’s fundamentally impossible.”

“Dorian was a very good student.”

“I believe it, though I imagine it would take great patience to teach him.”

Alexius smiled at that, “it did, yes.”

Camris sighed, “Alexius, I don’t agree with the rite of tranquility, not in any case where it can be avoided.”

“So…you’re not going to make me tranquil?”

“No,” Camris closed his books, “I’m not. Nor am I going to put you to death.”

“What?” Sera called from the back of the room, “he worked with Corypheus!”

“Many people we have come across have been corrupted by Corypheus, Sera. Would we not all sacrifice everything we had to save someone we love? This was not a Magister selling his studies to Corypheus to overthrow the world. This was a _father_ trying desperately to have his _son._ We should all be so lucky to have someone who loves us in such a way that they would go to any lengths to ensure we have a long life.”

“But what if he made Corypheus stronger?”

“Then I will be the one to pay for it in the end, won’t I?”

There was no further argument, and Sera crossed her arms over her chest with a frown.

“Josephine, I have my decision.”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“Laetan Gereon Alexius, I may not be a mage, but I am Dalish. One thing that Dalish are, is resourceful. I would be foolish to kill you or render your magic useless through tranquility. Corypheus is a very real risk, to all of us, and as you now know he is a liar who owes you a significant debt for the cost of your son.”

“Yes, on that we are agreed.”

“What I’m proposing is this, you will continue to study magic for the Inquisition. You will be under guard until you can be trusted,” Camris waited for Alexius to meet his gaze, “Tevinter has abandoned you, Alexius. They are not coming to save you.”

“The loss of my son,” Alexius sagged, “I would almost prefer death.”

“If I kill you now, you’ll never have a chance to make amends.”

“No, I wouldn’t. Inquisitor, might I ask you a question?”

“Certainly.”

“Did Dorian ask you to spare me?”

“No, Dorian has never asked me to spare you. In fact, my darling Vhenan left your judgement to my discretion. For some reason, though I couldn’t tell you why, the wonderful people here appointed me as Inquisitor. I don’t know if I make the right decisions all the time, nor do I know if I’m a good leader, but I do know that the say that we abandon compassion for fear that Corypheus has won. Do you accept? Will you work with us?”

“I will.”

“Alright. Josephine?”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“I, Inquisitor Camris Pavus,” Camris glanced to Halward with a small smile, “sentence you, Laetan Gereon Alexius, to study magic for the Inquisition in our efforts against Corypheus. You will remain under guard until your loyalty has been proven and your efforts will be reviewed with Altus Pavus to ensure that you are not compromising our safety. Should evidence of cooperation with Corypheus be found, you will be put through the rite of tranquility.”

“Understood.”

“Unfortunately, you will be kept in your cell until suitable accommodation can be set up by Magister and Altus Pavus. I wish I could trust you, but proper wards will need to be put in place so you don’t attempt to rip the fabric of time. One bad Magister is quire enough, yes?”

“Yes, Inquisitor.”

“Then my judgement has been rendered,” Camris stood from the throne, walking down the steps toward Alexius, “good luck, Alexius. If my betrothed is talented at anything, it’s guilting someone with those lovely eyes of his. You’re in for it, I’m afraid.”

“Of that, I have no doubt. Thank you, for the underserved kindness, Inquisitor.”

“You’re welcome,” Camris placed his hand on Alexius’ shoulder, “you did all you could for Felix, Alexius. Forgive yourself for the things you could not control. I’ll check in with you in a few days.”

Cullen all but raged up to Camris as the Templars took Alexius away, and he sighed, “Vhenan, I’ll speak with you soon, but first I need to go and get shouted at for a bit.”

“Commander, be kind to him, please,” Dorian pleaded.

“I just need to have words,” Cullen’s jaw was tight, and Camris lead him into Josephine’s office, closing the door behind them.

***

“Your Amatus did well, and showed remarkable restraint.” Halward walked with Dorian around the ramparts, “I do hope they’re not being cruel to him.”

“Did you ask him to save Alexius?”

“Yes,” Halward decided on honesty, “I did.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to save the father you deserved, rather than the father you had,” Halward shrugged, “I’m trying to make it up to you, Dorian. Though I doubt this even comes close.”

“Thank you,” Dorian pulled his father into a hug.

“You’re welcome.”

***

By the time Camris retired for the evening, he looked exhausted. Cullen, Josephine, and Cassandra had kept him locked in Josephine’s office for the rest of the day.

“Amatus,” Dorian looked at him with concern, “are you alright?”

“I’m the salt of the earth, depending on who you ask,” Camris undid his jacket, tossing it aside, “and foolishly in love according to others, just a fool in general according to Cullen.”

Camris sat heavily in his chair with a groan.

“Well, if it makes up for all of the shouting,” Dorian wrapped his arms around Camris from behind the chair, “thank you, for saving him.”

“You’re welcome,” Camris took Dorian’s hands in his, “I hope he proves his worth, if not, Cullen will never let me hear the end of it.”

“I don’t know how to repay you,” Dorian kissed along the length of Camris’ ear, “how about you come to bed so I can try?”

Camris groaned, but pulled away, “Dorian, you don’t need to bed me to thank me. If I’m to be your husband I promise to do my best to make sure that you’re happy, however I need to do that.”

“What if I wanted to bed you just because I feel like it?”

“Are you sure?”

Dorian started on the ties to Camris’ shirt, “I very much need to have my cock inside of my husband as _soon_ as possible.”

“Alright, lead the way”


End file.
